What's your most embarrassing moment?

Big Sexy

narcoleptic mattress salesman
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Memphis
Worked at a computer repair store and we had lots of free time on our hands. A Co-worker found that you could get a free single use sample of astro-glide personal lube. The sample that came was in a little tiny tube with a snap off lid. So this co-worker in his great wisdom and mind numbing boredom starts ordering hundreds of these samples. He basically sat down with a phone book and alphabetically ordered these samples. But he used our work address for delivery. Weeks go by and we have forgotten all about his lube ordering binge when we start receiving the samples. We got DOZENS every day for about 2 weeks. We piled them all in a box in back. Our boss gets pissed and tells us to get rid of them. So my co worker brings me the box and tells me to take some. I open my laptop/tool case and he pours about 50-60 of the sample tubes into my laptop case. I pack up and go home.
My laptop was a total POS and I never used it unless traveling or programming an router/switch.

So almost a month goes by the packets of lube LONG forgotten. I am asked to house sit for a friend. I grab my laptop bag and head over. I'm bored so I go to pull out my laptop, I reach into my laptop bag and my hands hit a "GOO" My first reaction is the battery exploded/leaked or something. Sometime over the last month heat or pressure or just banging around broke open most of the astro-glide tubes. The laptop case was a nylon/canvas case with a water tight pouch for the laptop. It also did a great job keeping the fluid IN. I grab a roll of paper towels and start cleaning the laptop. Took me about an entire roll to get it all off the laptop. Dismantled the laptop on their kitchen table. Got everything except the CDROM working again. So I empty the contents into their kitchen trash including the 50+ now opened packages of lube. Unknown to me one package had landed next to the couch where I opened the laptop up the first time. I didn't really think what the incident would look like to a 3rd party, I was too worried about my laptop. I head to work, and they come home. They immediately see the astro glide pack on the floor. They knew exactly what it was because THEY had ordered free samples too. So they think I went through their personal stuff and used one on myself on their couch. They are kinda pissed and then go to the kitchen trash to throw it away. They open the trash and find an entire roll of paper towls wadded up and 50-60 lube tubes sitting on the trash. He calls me all pissed off, wanting to know if I had had an orgy at his house. I tried to explain the story but as I was explaining it I was thinking to myself, "Shit this is so bizarre I don't even believe this".

We are still friends, but I'm sure that to this day they still think I hosted a huge sex party at their house.
 

Blazor

Put your glasses on!
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"They open the trash and find an entire roll of paper towls wadded up and 50-60 lube tubes sitting on the trash."

This is where I burst out laughing :ROFL3:
 

TheHaze

If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won'teither
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9,909
Was walking down the street and checking out a lady and walk right into a light pole- - - - - -
 

SHAMPAIN

Vape Nation
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Halfway Up Ben Nevis
Too many to say... My gf stuck a theft tag to my back in B&Q and disappeared... I had fun trying to leave the store with alarms ringing, the security guard started pissing himself laughing when he noticed it was stuck to my back... I got owned to be fair! :ROFL: Wee shite! :facepalm:
 

Jeannie

Factory Bastard
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i ripped the whole seat of my pants on one of these
HardtofindDeliciousFruitbat-size_restricted.gif

it was a practice drill so everyone was watching :facepalm:
 

Sharona

white wine divorcee
Messages
765
Location
Chicago
Boy I was dating sent me a picture of a backpack to see if I liked it. His back was facing the camera. I said, "I do like it, and your cute butt."

It was his father in the picture.
 

Master Pu

I'll Funk You Up!
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9,887
Location
CT
I had an argument with a guy in a tavern , he wouldn't shut up or back off so I punched him full force in his ugly mug. Well he could take a punch and it only backed him up a few feet , I eventually lost.:Pissed5:


Always fake the head shot with your bad arm, kick in the knee,
head jab downswing with bottom palm good arm.
That's how it's done so you don't break your knuckles.
Fyi
 
OP
OP
Big Sexy

Big Sexy

narcoleptic mattress salesman
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1,662
Location
Memphis
I knocked over an entire promotional stand of all lives. I’ve wrote almost 40 glass jars. Two girls were staring at me
 

Frood

Have kink will travel.
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16,290
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Wootopia
Streaking through a sleepy village at midnight howling like a convincing wolf for 2k's either way and getting hundreds of dogs to join in from their houses, based on a dare after I told the couple I was visiting that they had no fire in their blood and were becoming home-bodies.

The embarrassment of the sockless mediocre grade business shoes I wore still shames me to this day.