Jokes thread

TheHaze

If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won'teither
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Age Discrimination at Car Dealership...


A retired older couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter.

"I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $155,000 asking price," said the older man. "Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $130,000 to the lovely young lady there. You insisted there could was no way you could discount this model."

"Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and, just look at her, how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman.

Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man......

"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get that asshole to lower the price.................

See you later, dad."
 

chew the fat

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I rang 911 the other day because two women were fighting over me.

The operator asks “well, whats the emergency”?

I said “the bloody ugly one is winning”.
 
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Damaged Maven

A little older and a little stupider than most.
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The first two guys got up off the floor and joined the third one, who had oordered gin and tonic all around.
 

Damaged Maven

A little older and a little stupider than most.
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A guy walks into a bar with a duck. Bartender asks the guy "What you want?" The guy says "Ask the duck. He's buying."
 

X

xXx
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wheres the rest of it?
image.jpg
 

X

xXx
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In Canada we call it DUHHhhhhh
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lol Nice try and save though ;)
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:LMAO:
 

SHAMPAIN

Vape Nation
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You just cannot refrain from sticking your huge nose in can you? I find it hilarious that a part time carpet fitter should call anyone a dunce eh...
You post as though I could give a flying fuck what a little rickity internet flea has got to say :LMAO:
You post like “internet flea” offends... At least I don’t have fluid retention in my legs...
 

X

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Have wut ?? :LMAO::LMAO: I nevered in my life heard anything so stupid ...fuck man your a walnut ....lololol
 

Jeannie

Factory Bastard
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You just cannot refrain from sticking your huge nose in can you? I find it hilarious that a part time carpet fitter should call anyone a dunce eh...
You post as though I could give a flying fuck what a little rickity internet flea has got to say :LMAO:
You post like “internet flea” offends... At least I don’t have fluid retention in my legs...
LMMFAO
 

X

xXx
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You just cannot refrain from sticking your huge nose in can you? I find it hilarious that a part time carpet fitter should call anyone a dunce eh...
You post as though I could give a flying fuck what a little rickity internet flea has got to say :LMAO:
You post like “internet flea” offends... At least I don’t have fluid retention in my legs...
LMMFAO
..Bigger capitals !!!!!!!! ...I might notice MOARRRRRRRRRR LOLOLOLOLOL Gimpity dimpity dumb ass :LMAO::LMAO::LMAO::LMAO::LMAO::LMAO::LMAO:
 

X

xXx
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Here's a joke ..2 pathetic idiots 'liking' each others posts for moral support ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa

Thanks for the concern peeps, but I'm sure a more pressing matter is that Jeannie can't get a simple joke and you are an adult that collects 'piders :LMAO::LMAO:

I swear you can't make this shit up lolol

Fluid retention bahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa

 

X

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Jeannie visited Toronto and on the highway a sign said 'Toronto Left' ..she turned around and went home .. Le Duhhhhhhhhhhhh lolol