THE CONFESSIONAL

Sharona

white wine divorcee
Messages
351
Location
Chicago
#1
Okay people, the idea is to confess ur stupid moments.

The heart stoppingly, jaw droppingly crazy mistakes that will always b remembered. The idea is to 'fess up to the fact that we're all human, or all fall foul of the system at some stage. My father told me yesterday, we all screw up. Hopefully we can all learn from the mistakes as well as having a laugh at someone elses expense for a change!!


I'll go. Last night I went thru the Taco Bell drive thru and started talking to the trash can. I could hear her voice faintly coming out so I continued to ask her to please "speak up", the lady actually came outside and told me to move forward a few more feet. oh man
 

chew the fat

Dedicated Deviant
Messages
229
#2
We had a green Camry at work...it was a company car and a spare.

The Operations Manager wanted a couple of keys cut so I went down to the nearest shopping mall that had a key cutting shop and got the keys cut.

I came outside to the parking area and spotted the green Camry and went over and hit the remote but it wouldn't open. Kept on trying but no go.

I tried the key in the door lock but no go either. Right what am I going to do.

Next thing I hear this big commotion and a female fronts me and asks me why am I trying to steal her car and she was going to call the cops on me.

I'm roughly 6'1 1/2'' and weigh about 200lbs [I'm powerfully built btw][lol] and I thought she's pretty damn brave to front me.

So I tell her no it's a company car and I'm using it just as transport to get to and from this shopping mall.

At this stage I start looking around the parking area and I see a green Camry 2 lanes over from this females car.

I'm glad she didn't call the cops on me.
 

TheHaze

If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won't eithe
Elite Bastards
Messages
1,160
#3
1st time I had sex with a woman put my cock in the wrong hole and she said all packages go in the front door and made me think of you Sharona and if you like it in the back door ?
 

MasterBlaster

Your True Master
Elite Bastards
Messages
521
Location
Bayou counrty
#4
BS. You knew Sharona way back then? Or maybe it was just the other day???
 

TheHaze

If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won't eithe
Elite Bastards
Messages
1,160
#5
BS. You knew Sharona way back then? Or maybe it was just the other day???
My post made me think of Sharona who started this post Dick Tracy- - - - - - -
PS-Now that I think about it wonder if you like it in the back door as well being out at sea for 6 months with all those horny sailors sleeping together and the boat rocking back and forth- - - - -
 

knife wielder

Dedicated Deviant
Messages
2,450
#7
I'm tempted to post a picture of a sweaty woman.
 

knife wielder

Dedicated Deviant
Messages
2,450
#9
That's the side that would let me. What the fuck is wrong with you?
 

Swamp-Duck

Dedicated Deviant
Elite Bastards
Messages
1,588
Location
Mogadishu
#11
I was once found by two two old bill sitting on an island in the middle of of the road crying cos I thought I’d killed an orange. Acid and speed don’t mix well.
 

chew the fat

Dedicated Deviant
Messages
229
#12
The company I was working for at the time was pretty big and you didn't know every employee so...

We had a chemist working there and he had a company Mercedes Van and his job was to go around different sites and test production samples.

If I could remember his name I would look him up on LinkedIn.

He was out on run and he had a head on smash with a 4 wheel drive and he was hurt pretty bad.

Thats about all I knew.

The company had his van towed back to base and put in a warehouse and they asked me to take out all the company stuff and take out the chemists personal stuff.

The Mercedes was pretty wrecked but I got in from each side and started getting his things out...wallet/coins/bits and pieces/etc/...

I pick up this diary type book and think yep this must be his so I have a quick look...

He has detailed notes about how he is going to divorce his wife.

I'm supposed to pack his things up and mail them to his house but what the hell do I do with this diary shit.

I grab a cardboard box and pack everything in there including his diary and tape it closed. Then I take it over to production and put it on a wrapping machine wrap it about 3 different ways then stick an address label on it and take to the foyer to have it sent to his house.[just adding here the receptionist in the foyer was a very very attractive woman but she was pregnant and married and happy so I didn't use my unbelievably fantastic charm and wit on her...although she might have guessed I am a dickhead]

I'm hoping his wife won't unpack the box because it will be tricky wilh all the wrapping.

It must have been something like 2/3 months later I see him come in limping very badly [must have broken his leg] and into the main office. I'm trying to work out if I should say anything to him about the box/diary I sent to his house.

I'm close by so I shoot into the office block and there he is laying on floor in extreme pain.

He tripped over a shitty carpet runner in the office and re-broke his leg.

The ambulance was on it's way...I stayed right out of it.

I never saw him again so I don't know what happened...did he keep his job...did he get a divorce.

I don't know. Golden Rule...Never leave incriminating evidence laying around.

I'll just add this that I only read about 2 pages of his diary and he was obviously very unhappy and I've never told anyone else about this so Sharona might in for a promotion from a blood taker to a psychologist.
 

Genie

Dedicated Deviant
Messages
264
#14
i also tear up at sad animal vids and commercials and fan my eyes and lol when ppl tease me about it
 
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