Recent content by The Unknown Comic

My father has Parkinson's. My mother told him to get off the couch and get a job. He now jerks off the giraffes at the zoo. Pays good. A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants

I have always had a fear of stage fright. Yes, even as a successful stand up comedian. This is why I always eat a carrot naked before I go on stage. I place the carrot on the chair while I put on my trousers and when I look back at the chair, the carrot disappears. This comforts me from stage...

Didn't the colors wear Fupa jeans? They came with a ski mask in the pocket? Tough crowd tough crowd A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants

But are you holding dildos in your hands? Thank you thank you A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants

I looked at my phone for this "BabyPumperAlert" Nothing. Must be some European thing A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants

Third Rail Forums was very good. This place reminds me of the time I took a trip down to India. There was very little there but the curry bowls were excellent. Who doesn't like a good curry bowl besides my asshole? Lemon sodas, the spicy egg sandwich. It was like eating at your mother's house...

** taps mic ** Why hello You all might remember me from Third Rail Forums. You don't? That was me having sex in the bathroom with Bra1ns goldfish. Tough crowd A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants

Countess? What are you counting? Tough crowd, tough crowd. You know they say Countesses ass and her forum have so much dead air, both can be used as flotation devices in a tsunami. Hey Countsless, are you still chasing little kids around with dildos or did they get smart and throw Snickers...