'WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU!'

Are you offering me a cookie or asking for CM to intercede on your behalf?

If the former I could really go for a pumpkin chocolate chip. Thanks.
If the latter... good luck with that. CM doesn't usually white knight for petulant little dweebs.
Jesus now you're reaching, why bring him into this?

here you go...fresh baked

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Because you wanked profusely and repeatedly to the person/s who have the login details to this account?

I can prove you're a sucker. Just did.
Don’t cry. Especially in front of your family. They are on the same page as me.