So either you're a pathetic loser who's trying (and failing) to pass himself off as somebody else... or you really are somebody else whose "high bar of aspiration" is a pathetic loser. Which would make you even more of a loser than he is.
I can see why you'd want to dissociate from that identity; what's hilarious is that you then go on to just fall right back into it. If you're pretending to be someone other than yourself, you're really half-assing it.
Guest:
Bet your cop hat made you look scrumptious
Guest:
I just happened to notice you get really upset when he mentions your fag hat so I figured I’d use it too