I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Easter, but Easter it's a cunning plot devised by the lizard people to distract us from their sinister agenda!
Think about it... what's with all the eggs? Those eggs are actually incubators for lizard eggs, hatching their reptilian offspring right under our noses!
But, pardon my tangent. I certainly don't intend to come across as some sort of conspiracy theorist, and I'll refrain from delving into how the Easter Bunny might just be a clandestine agent of the cold-blooded reptilian overlords.
No, no, just go on and eat your glazed ham, deviled eggs, and bread rolls and go on about your lives in ignorant bliss and don't concern yourselves about playing right into the hands of the fuckin' lizard people!!
I mean, HE HAS RISEN! AMEN!
Have a good time with your families.... while you can.