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<blockquote data-quote="Admin." data-source="post: 1352316" data-attributes="member: 1129">Dearest Mother,I have returned from ravaged Portland to Columbia, as necessity demands my presence for still another battle, this one between the warring states of Missouri and Alabama. But I continue to receive dispatches from the western front.My fellow soldiers write from the besieged streets of Portland, where the Great Conflict of ’25 rages on. Our regiment there continues to defend the narrow ground between the cold-brew trench and the gluten-free sourdough bunker. The opposition came at our brave ones at dawn today, wielding mason jars and ironic facial hair, chanting fearsome haikus about sustainability. Supplies are dwindling—their last organic, dolphin-friendly oat milk was rationed to a single latte, and Sergeant Willow refuses to advance without his ethically sourced crystals. Pray for them and for all of us, Mother.Your loving son,James</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Admin., post: 1352316, member: 1129"] Dearest Mother, I have returned from ravaged Portland to Columbia, as necessity demands my presence for still another battle, this one between the warring states of Missouri and Alabama. But I continue to receive dispatches from the western front. My fellow soldiers write from the besieged streets of Portland, where the Great Conflict of ’25 rages on. Our regiment there continues to defend the narrow ground between the cold-brew trench and the gluten-free sourdough bunker. The opposition came at our brave ones at dawn today, wielding mason jars and ironic facial hair, chanting fearsome haikus about sustainability. Supplies are dwindling—their last organic, dolphin-friendly oat milk was rationed to a single latte, and Sergeant Willow refuses to advance without his ethically sourced crystals. Pray for them and for all of us, Mother. Your loving son, James [/QUOTE]

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