The women in my life are great because they have respect for themselves and for men.

[Frood]

The younger me was very loose with the fairer sex on what I found acceptable for female behaviour, but as I matured I realized that women are a great and noble gender with much to offer as long as they know their place in this world.

A world, or better put....a reality where the patriarchy is the sole reason humanity has advanced from bashing oats on a stone and randomly fucking.

So I present the 5 basic rules of my house.

1. NO consuming of pineapple on pizza within the sacred grounds of my home. Che Guevara said don't eat chillies, eggs, and shellfish to his retarded followers but those ingredients are FINE on a pizza because they don't taste like shit or give you early diabetes.

Eat the pineapple shit out on the deck on all fours or in the shed.

2. Menstruation is a nasty business. It's fucking gross and sometimes it can leave a lingering stank in closed rooms.

Do that shit outside on all fours or in the shed.

3. I will cook, you will eat, then clean up the kitchen cause equality and shit. You will also clean up the shitter at all times because of my gag reflex and you girls stink regularly.

Failure to clean up a mess is a time out on the deck or the shed.

4. I make/pack the lunches, do the budgeting and shopping, prepare the dinners. I'm pulling my weight as a modern man... therefore one of you (decide amongst yourselves on the day) will rise early and prepare for me:

a. One hot coffee made from a Robert Timms Columbian Blend single use bag steeped for not more than 4 minutes but a minimum of 3.

b. 2 pieces of toast, buttered, sliced diagonally, with 1 smothered in thick Vegemite, 2 in mashed avocado but only one with salt and pepper. The last one is up for grabs....surprise me and I might make your meatloaf sandwich extra thick.

c. A tumbler of fresh orange juice. If there is no pulp free from the supermarket left, I expect you to squeeze some oranges and use a fucking cheese cloth or drip coffee filter to get the pulp out. You know the pulp doesn't agree with me, especially if my coffee was steeped beyond 4 minutes.

5. Be sure to padlock the shed after I let you out. There are a lot of thieves and creeps around. Don't give them an easy target. I don't need to find some drunken bum sniffing your rags or licking your pineapple pizza boxes when I go out in the morning and feed your grandma.

 

[Frood]

But above all, my mission is to instruct my female children and their cousins and friends what is beautiful to real men and what is questionable or completely not.

Take for instance this Google ad I saw....

While there is nothing wrong with the female folk keeping fit and I actually applaud it (who likes a fat slob moaning and cooing for your pork sword up her glutinous dick slick), I do recognise where women have been given too much leeway to act like petty pic whores and/or mini Arnold Swartz-niggerbums with thighs which could crush a newly emerging baby's head should they cop a sneeze mid-birth....

No.... that's "not on" as we say here...in our rural and remote village.

HERE, we celebrate masculine and feminine attributes but in the modern era where men and women share duties, NOT the gender disparities of the outside world. There is no Mascu-Lia Thompson's trying to out-swim our menfolk in the rivers and billabong. We actually still teach human biology here and our teacher is 77 years strong and fit as a fiddle...

 

[realgrimm]

Bring back rule of thumb , make sure your masculinity is in check and reign down with a fierceness unbeknownst with spurts of savage correction to instill proper learned responses.. this is just basic cohabitation law and the structure to strong cultural appropriation

 

[Frood]

Bring back rule of thumb , make sure your masculinity is in check and reign down with a fierceness unbeknownst with spurts of savage correction to instill proper learned responses.. this is just basic cohabitation law and the structure to strong cultural appropriation

Just beautiful... are they your own words or quoted from others?

 

[realgrimm]

Bring back rule of thumb , make sure your masculinity is in check and reign down with a fierceness unbeknownst with spurts of savage correction to instill proper learned responses.. this is just basic cohabitation law and the structure to strong cultural appropriation

Just beautiful... are they your own words or quoted from others?

Yes spurned from this noggin o mine..

LAWS of the LAND have always dictated the strong shall inherit the earth not the meek, the meek mumble jumble was a concept brought on by fear culture and incorporated into the word to make humanity weak

 

[Lokmar]

I dont pull out. Ever.

 

[Frood]

I only pull out in the West.

On trips, or residences, I shoot my baby gravy all up it...

 

[Biggie Smiles]

But above all, my mission is to instruct my female children and their cousins and friends what is beautiful to real men and what is questionable or completely not.

Take for instance this Google ad I saw....

While there is nothing wrong with the female folk keeping fit and I actually applaud it (who likes a fat slob moaning and cooing for your pork sword up her glutinous dick slick), I do recognise where women have been given too much leeway to act like petty pic whores and/or mini Arnold Swartz-niggerbums with thighs which could crush a newly emerging baby's head should they cop a sneeze mid-birth....

No.... that's "not on" as we say here...in our rural and remote village.

HERE, we celebrate masculine and feminine attributes but in the modern era where men and women share duties, NOT the gender disparities of the outside world. There is no Mascu-Lia Thompson's trying to out-swim our menfolk in the rivers and billabong. We actually still teach human biology here and our teacher is 77 years strong and fit as a fiddle...

Good to see women who actually take care of themselves

 

[Jeannie]

@Frood can u summarize/paraphrase your op cuz i aint reading all that

 

[Frood]

Off to the shed with you!!

 

[Breakfall]

Hahahaaaaaaa….priceless!

 

[Seamajor]

@Frood can u summarize/paraphrase your op cuz i aint reading all that

Few do. Dont feel bad.

 

[deport_liberals]

I dont pull out. Ever.

Ain`t going out like Onan....

 

[Joe]

The younger me was very loose with the fairer sex on what I found acceptable for female behaviour, but as I matured I realized that women are a great and noble gender with much to offer as long as they know their place in this world.

A world, or better put....a reality where the patriarchy is the sole reason humanity has advanced from bashing oats on a stone and randomly fucking.

So I present the 5 basic rules of my house.

1. NO consuming of pineapple on pizza within the sacred grounds of my home. Che Guevara said don't eat chillies, eggs, and shellfish to his retarded followers but those ingredients are FINE on a pizza because they don't taste like shit or give you early diabetes.

Eat the pineapple shit out on the deck on all fours or in the shed.

2. Menstruation is a nasty business. It's fucking gross and sometimes it can leave a lingering stank in closed rooms.

Do that shit outside on all fours or in the shed.

3. I will cook, you will eat, then clean up the kitchen cause equality and shit. You will also clean up the shitter at all times because of my gag reflex and you girls stink regularly.

Failure to clean up a mess is a time out on the deck or the shed.

4. I make/pack the lunches, do the budgeting and shopping, prepare the dinners. I'm pulling my weight as a modern man... therefore one of you (decide amongst yourselves on the day) will rise early and prepare for me:

a. One hot coffee made from a Robert Timms Columbian Blend single use bag steeped for not more than 4 minutes but a minimum of 3.

b. 2 pieces of toast, buttered, sliced diagonally, with 1 smothered in thick Vegemite, 2 in mashed avocado but only one with salt and pepper. The last one is up for grabs....surprise me and I might make your meatloaf sandwich extra thick.

c. A tumbler of fresh orange juice. If there is no pulp free from the supermarket left, I expect you to squeeze some oranges and use a fucking cheese cloth or drip coffee filter to get the pulp out. You know the pulp doesn't agree with me, especially if my coffee was steeped beyond 4 minutes.

5. Be sure to padlock the shed after I let you out. There are a lot of thieves and creeps around. Don't give them an easy target. I don't need to find some drunken bum sniffing your rags or licking your pineapple pizza boxes when I go out in the morning and feed your grandma.

Yeah @Frood I've often thought houses should be designed so the bathrooms are located OUTSIDE the house rather than contained within it. Or else the bathroom door faces outdoors than indoors. There must be a way to put an outdoor hallway which separates the bathroom from the rest of house so the odours go out the opposite side of the building.

 

[The Prowler]

It is like some people have never heard of a ceiling fan.

 

[The Countess]

The younger me was very loose with the fairer sex on what I found acceptable for female behaviour, but as I matured I realized that women are a great and noble gender with much to offer as long as they know their place in this world.

A world, or better put....a reality where the patriarchy is the sole reason humanity has advanced from bashing oats on a stone and randomly fucking.

So I present the 5 basic rules of my house.

1. NO consuming of pineapple on pizza within the sacred grounds of my home. Che Guevara said don't eat chillies, eggs, and shellfish to his retarded followers but those ingredients are FINE on a pizza because they don't taste like shit or give you early diabetes.

Eat the pineapple shit out on the deck on all fours or in the shed.

2. Menstruation is a nasty business. It's fucking gross and sometimes it can leave a lingering stank in closed rooms.

Do that shit outside on all fours or in the shed.

3. I will cook, you will eat, then clean up the kitchen cause equality and shit. You will also clean up the shitter at all times because of my gag reflex and you girls stink regularly.

Failure to clean up a mess is a time out on the deck or the shed.

4. I make/pack the lunches, do the budgeting and shopping, prepare the dinners. I'm pulling my weight as a modern man... therefore one of you (decide amongst yourselves on the day) will rise early and prepare for me:

a. One hot coffee made from a Robert Timms Columbian Blend single use bag steeped for not more than 4 minutes but a minimum of 3.

b. 2 pieces of toast, buttered, sliced diagonally, with 1 smothered in thick Vegemite, 2 in mashed avocado but only one with salt and pepper. The last one is up for grabs....surprise me and I might make your meatloaf sandwich extra thick.

c. A tumbler of fresh orange juice. If there is no pulp free from the supermarket left, I expect you to squeeze some oranges and use a fucking cheese cloth or drip coffee filter to get the pulp out. You know the pulp doesn't agree with me, especially if my coffee was steeped beyond 4 minutes.

5. Be sure to padlock the shed after I let you out. There are a lot of thieves and creeps around. Don't give them an easy target. I don't need to find some drunken bum sniffing your rags or licking your pineapple pizza boxes when I go out in the morning and feed your grandma.

How bout you kiss my entire ass :facepalm:

 

[The Prowler]

It is like some people have never heard of a ceiling fan.

Wait.

They are called exhaust fans.

 

[Cookie Monster]

My rules for women.

I no longer care whos in charge in a relationship, most women prefer men so be carefull what you wish for (Rule 2), especially as i'm becoming more religious.

1. No poking about or trying to climb into my head, its a mess and theres some nasty shit in there which is the only area you will not clean up.

2. I may decide to gather up all your jeans and pants and take them to the charity shop, I will then take you shopping for replacements in the form of skirts and dresses. Yea i like clothes shopping sometimes and I will turn you into a real women.

3. There are 2 sexes, gender has no status ever. I will do the cooking as I'm good at it and it keeps me calm everything else will be divyed up fairly according to hours and needs.

4 You will not turn into a slob or you will answer for it.

4a If your a wine guzzling cat worshipper with a cosmopolitan/"sex in the city" morality your life will be drasticly re-orientated.

4b Thot culture will be of limits to you and any children.

5 You are entitled to your opinions but understand that being an Economist and interested in Classisism(You may need to look that one up) your opinions may come across as chidish and i am not trying to patronise you. Rule 5 applies to most people.

6 You need to have a an enquiring mind not laden with negative assumptions or toxic ideologies.

I think I may be going full Amish.

 

[Cookie Monster]

Rule
7 The above implies, but I'll state it, no "Blue hairs".

8 I think I may need some of them shed rules.

 

[Cookie Monster]

It is like some people have never heard of a ceiling fan.

Wait.

They are called exhaust fans.

They are called air conditioning, not needed so much in your Artic Igloo.

 

[The Prowler]

They are called air conditioning, not needed so much in your Artic Igloo.

Liar @Joe was talking about raunchy washroom odours. Nothing about temperature. Maybe in his cheap government housing they do not have exhaust fans in washrooms, but us civilized people do not live in such disgusting conditions.

Are you the guy from England?

Month with the highest average high temperature in London, England: July at 23°
Month with the highest average high temperature in London, Ontario, Canada: July at 27°

We get it colder than you. But we also get it hotter.

 

[Cookie Monster]

They are called air conditioning, not needed so much in your Artic Igloo.

Liar @Joe was talking about raunchy washroom odours. Nothing about temperature. Maybe in his cheap government housing they do not have exhaust fans in washrooms, but us civilized people do not live in such disgusting conditions.

Are you the guy from England?

Month with the highest average high temperature in London, England: July at 23°
Month with the highest average high temperature in London, Ontario, Canada: July at 27°

We get it colder than you. But we also get it hotter.

Thats because we get the gulf stream, the jet stream and the continental blast. Its all fucked up here.

 

[The Prowler]

Thats because we get the gulf stream, the jet stream and the continental blast. Its all fucked up here.

Just saying that we need the AC more than you guys. And trying to educate. You do not know how many English we get here who say "Blimey! I had no idea the weather was so lovely!"

 

[SHAMPAIN]

They are called air conditioning, not needed so much in your Artic Igloo.

Liar @Joe was talking about raunchy washroom odours. Nothing about temperature. Maybe in his cheap government housing they do not have exhaust fans in washrooms, but us civilized people do not live in such disgusting conditions.

Are you the guy from England?

Month with the highest average high temperature in London, England: July at 23°
Month with the highest average high temperature in London, Ontario, Canada: July at 27°

We get it colder than you. But we also get it hotter.

Thats because we get the gulf stream, the jet stream and the continental blast. Its all fucked up here.

Thats because we get the gulf stream, the jet stream and the continental blast. Its all fucked up here.

Just saying that we need the AC more than you guys. And trying to educate. You do not know how many English we get here who say "Blimey! I had no idea the weather was so lovely!"

Yes, that bastarding jet stream makes us soggy AF!! Wet, wet, wet!!! On the bright side we don't really get extreme weather more of a constant grey and miserable...