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<blockquote data-quote="Dove" data-source="post: 1310583" data-attributes="member: 535">Ive talked about how i was attacked and raped when i was young. 14. And because of purity culture? I felt like i had been completely destroyed. That i was just basically pre chewed gum. They didnt directly tell me this....but it was in how they taught. &nbsp;I was never properly educated on my own body or on sex. My first period was super traumatic because i had no idea what was happening to me. I thought i was being punished by God and that i was going to die. &nbsp;And by the time i was 25, i had been divorced twice and had two kids. Because you dont just date someone....you court and your goal is to be married and having kids for the &quot;kingdom&quot;.&nbsp; My second marriage was rushed because i was told no one is gonna want a single mom so i shouldnt let this guy slip by!&nbsp; &nbsp;As a child, i absolutely believed that the anti Christ was going to come in my lifetime. I believed we would all be lined up and he would offer us the mark of the beast. If we take it, we burn in hell for eternity.&nbsp; If we dont take it, we get our heads chopped off but we will go be with Jesus. &nbsp;I got in trouble because i asked....genuinely...&quot;Then why do we even need school if we are gonna die anyway?&quot;&nbsp;I was always being called a &quot;smart mouth&quot;.&nbsp; I was frequently accused of being a &quot;trouble maker&quot;.&nbsp; And i never understood what i was doing wrong. All my questions and comments were genuine. &nbsp;So because of that i always felt something was just wrong with me and i had really shitty self esteem. &nbsp;My grandmother wasnt like this, but all the adults in my church and school (it was the same thing...i went to a private Pentecostal school that was also our church) were like that.&nbsp; &nbsp;I also got bullied by the other private school kids because my mother was a drunk and i was being raised by grandma. &nbsp;I absolutely we through years where i was an atheist and i hated religion.&nbsp; It took a long time for me to make peace with all of that.&nbsp; It was just all so abusive and at the time i believed all this was normal.&nbsp; &nbsp;Everyone in &quot;the world&quot; was refered to as &quot;the wicked&quot;.&nbsp; So if i liked someone who wasnt in the church or who didnt go to church? I felt guilty for liking them. It meant i liked &quot;wicked&quot; people, so maybe im also &quot;wicked&quot; and then i was just scared of hell.&nbsp;You know all this is why i was such a big NIN fan as a teenager lol.&nbsp;&nbsp; Them believing the earth was created in 6 days is far from the worst thing about them, truly.&nbsp; They hold some seriously wacky and selective beliefs and have some pretty false interpretations of scripture.&nbsp; &nbsp;I feel sorry for my peers who never got out, who also married young and had a bunch of kids and they are clearly miserable as fuck today.&nbsp; I followed the Duggars pretty closely because their beliefs are a lot like the ones i grew up in and i root hard for those women.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Dove, post: 1310583, member: 535"] Ive talked about how i was attacked and raped when i was young. 14. And because of purity culture? I felt like i had been completely destroyed. That i was just basically pre chewed gum. They didnt directly tell me this....but it was in how they taught. I was never properly educated on my own body or on sex. My first period was super traumatic because i had no idea what was happening to me. I thought i was being punished by God and that i was going to die. And by the time i was 25, i had been divorced twice and had two kids. Because you dont just date someone....you court and your goal is to be married and having kids for the "kingdom". My second marriage was rushed because i was told no one is gonna want a single mom so i shouldnt let this guy slip by! As a child, i absolutely believed that the anti Christ was going to come in my lifetime. I believed we would all be lined up and he would offer us the mark of the beast. If we take it, we burn in hell for eternity. If we dont take it, we get our heads chopped off but we will go be with Jesus. I got in trouble because i asked....genuinely..."Then why do we even need school if we are gonna die anyway?" I was always being called a "smart mouth". I was frequently accused of being a "trouble maker". And i never understood what i was doing wrong. All my questions and comments were genuine. So because of that i always felt something was just wrong with me and i had really shitty self esteem. My grandmother wasnt like this, but all the adults in my church and school (it was the same thing...i went to a private Pentecostal school that was also our church) were like that. I also got bullied by the other private school kids because my mother was a drunk and i was being raised by grandma. I absolutely we through years where i was an atheist and i hated religion. It took a long time for me to make peace with all of that. It was just all so abusive and at the time i believed all this was normal. Everyone in "the world" was refered to as "the wicked". So if i liked someone who wasnt in the church or who didnt go to church? I felt guilty for liking them. It meant i liked "wicked" people, so maybe im also "wicked" and then i was just scared of hell. You know all this is why i was such a big NIN fan as a teenager lol. Them believing the earth was created in 6 days is far from the worst thing about them, truly. They hold some seriously wacky and selective beliefs and have some pretty false interpretations of scripture. I feel sorry for my peers who never got out, who also married young and had a bunch of kids and they are clearly miserable as fuck today. I followed the Duggars pretty closely because their beliefs are a lot like the ones i grew up in and i root hard for those women. [/QUOTE]

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