@Alticus
Additionally, you omitted the fact that you beat me in the second game in about 40 moves, which would be a huge contrast from the first game.
You already know the answer. When you said you played chess, I thought you being a shut in who hadn't had any intimate contact with a non-human relative in over a decade...well, I thought I was in for a real treat. Unfortunately, you turned out to be the average male butt bandit crowing about your non-existent intellectual prowess. I didn't want to make you feel bad, so I only thought it being the right thing to do would be to let you win. I don't understand how you could have missed that with some of the rookie blunders I made on purpose to give you the win. Even then it was a chore guiding your stupid ass to checkmate.