What can I say, Dove, that would count as some proof for you that I am?
I really do not feel you understand me at all, and I dont know how to fix that. And an open forum involving text only isnt exactly the most effective avenue for communication. Not for people who already disagree, have thier biases and may read things in ways completely different then the author intended.
I would guess the lack of validation of where I'm coming from is what is making you come off as less than objective.
All right, Dovey, you're gonna make me break character here, but I have to say a few things in reply and camo isn't an option in this case.
That you "do not feel" I understand you at all doesn't mean that I don't. Believe it or not, but I
do actually understand how you feel. My somewhat extensive professional involvement--by choice, I should add--with folks who are struggling with poverty, addiction, mental illness, discrimination, social exclusion, and political disenfranchisement simply could not make this otherwise.
Here's the thing, though: people who hang out at this board in the hopes of having their "feels" acknowledged and honoured or with a view to obtain from its members some form of psychological or emotional "validation" ought rather to consider sticking to Zuckerberg's Metaverse, where "feels" are protected and validation given.
This isn't the place for that. And, for some weird reason,
you are the one who suddenly goes completely deaf whenever I bring this up. I wonder why that is. Maybe it has something to do with the need for validation your every post suggests you seek to fuel?
I'm not shy about throwing laurels your way, Dovey. You're passionate, articulate, smart, and a cutie, all in your own way. But you're just too damned earnest, too damned serious. That, in my view, makes you unfunny, unwitty, and unentertaining.
Imagine if I, as a member of the transgender community you so much love to hate, came to this board looking to have my "feels" validated by the membership here. You not only would
not take me seriously, you'd tell me to GTFO ASAP. And not because of my membership in the trans community but because of the nature of this forum.
So I entreat you, Dovey: just lighten the fuck up, don't take yourself so seriously, let shade roll off you like water off a Swamp Duck's back, roll with the punches, thicken your hide, and kick some ass with a smile instead of with a frown.
If you do this, I guarantee you'll not only see your anxiety levels lower but you'll disarm those you consider nemeses on this board. You might even have some
real fun in the process.
So, yeah, I "get" you, lass. Do you "get" me?
*****long post alert.. .addressing Blurt thoughtfully*****
Blurt you literally missed the mark with that entire post. Completely misrepresented everything I've said.
Then claimed you "got" me.
You really dont.
I will do my best to explain why.
1. Your first point about why you believe you understand me regardless of the fact your responses show otherwise kinda proves my point that you are judging me based on your experiences with people who have struggled with similar issues as me. So this was actually my point about being aware of biases. You've developed biases and are applying those to how you read into me.
Poofer lives in poverty, has been an active drunk, and him and I could not possibly be MORE different than we are.
These experiences have helped build who i am...but they are not the totality of who I am. You are just assigning a version of me to my screen name that is based on other people you've known who have had similar experiences as me.
So this point is you stereotyping me according to your biases and anecdotes.
2. I didnt say anything about getting my "feels" noticed. I pointed out you were all to eager to criticize ME and judge my response but completely dismissive, uninterested and unempathetic to WHY I made this thread. Your criticisms and comments about who is being "too serious" and earnest are very one sided.
I also come here for laughs and to argue politics. And while I'm doing that, we got this individual with some real life ax to grind yelping nonstop in the back ground trying to enlist other posters, stay on the viscious attack blathering dishonest versions of real life things that do NOT belong on a forum, and devoting time to trying to get the mods and BF to ban me.
I was directly addressing how your one sided criticisms failed to validate the entire issue. That is what I meant by the lack of validation. You want to criticize and judge me but without addressing the reason I did it. I dont give a rip shit about "feelings" being validated. I'm saying your assessment that you want to share is missing operative information in favor focusing on one piece of it. Which makes for an unfair and unbalanced judgement.
Which again....you are free to make it....but you are not at all "impartial".
Honestly I figured she would sizzle out within a week or two but here we are few months later and she was still on the boards and in PM boxes trying to start some huge nasty feud and involve the board and get me banned over some real life personal issue she has that she wants to act out on a forum. As YOU said, this really isnt the place for someone to lash out with some personal grudge addressing any off board issues or get thier feels validated.
I promise you, several people reading this completely understand WHY I posted this thread. You are very much not one of them. I assure you, on MY end, I'm not taking this anywhere near as seriously as the one who has been losing her shit, dropping threats and saying she will "burn every bridge" before she "backs down" to me and blathering things that do not really belong on a forum, even about other people.
And I havent even been fighting her or bothering with this. You dont see the months BEFORE this where I completely ignored ALL her attacks. So you are choosing my ONE response to her to judge me as being too serious....or too emotional, too all these things you say are giving me all this anxiety when in reality I'm as cool as cucumber and I just decided to go ahead and put the actual convo out there.
I just simply have a right to address a disgusting accusation being made at me with such nonstop relentless seriousness. It doesn't mean I'm over here having some heavy emotional angst. Now i AM disgusted and irritated, sure.
3. There is absolutely NO reason for you accuse me of "hating the transgender community". If you are taking my points about the radical gender ideology policies as "hatred" of the transgender community when I have been SO CLEAR on what the problem IS....I dont know what to tell. I guess if being vocally opposed to predatory men being able to claim they identify as women to get into spaces where they can assault women and girls(and we see it happening) means I just hate transgender people....that's just what you are going to think.
Likely because it's what you WANT to think. And I couldnt provide a more clear and directly explaination of my arguments no matter how hard I try to. You are gonna see what you want to see there no matter what. Again, you are not hearing and understanding, you are applying your biases and judging based on them. I cant change that and I'm not going to try.
4. Again, I'm not worked up in the least and I'm not taking any of this nearly as seriously as the ones here who are on a constant rage vent.
But you are going to read into how you want to based on your biases. The entire reason why I have ONLY shot back on this here in this thread is entirely because I'm not taking it seriously, I do not think a forum is a proper venue for her real personal problems and I've thusly had ZERO interest in any of her rantings. It took months of her spreading this sex offender narrative before I showed it was a lie.
This is why you are not being seen as objective. You are attaching a huge load of emotions and thoughts to me that just simply are not mine. And its JUST me you are unloading them on. So I think it's very possible I remind you of someone else of whom you have strong opinions about and you are actually talking to THAT person. And you let the others who are very clearly raging and over the top serious off the hook entirely while isolating and judging just my behavior.
Its fine Blurt, judge away. It's not that big of a deal. I've been many different things to many different posters over the years. What that something is will always be heavily influenced by thier lived experiences and people they've known and thier various biases. But you just are certainly not impartial and these are these are the main reasons why. Me saying that isnt an insult, either. We ALL have biases and no one person is ALWAYS impartial. Human beings are prone to err and we should all be careful and self aware when we start giving our judgements on a conflict.
