If you were Ice Cream, what flavor would you be and why?

I would be an ice cream sandwich, soft, fluffy, and sweet on the outside; hard, cold, and frozen on the inside.
 
If I was a popsicle I’d be this one because it looks like a dog’s dick. Maybe if I looked more appealing Dilf would start loving me again.

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It's It-because I am great- - - - - - - -
 
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Let's just roll with Bastard Factory Flavored Super-Premium Schnozberry!!

None of that 34 flavors or that foofy California health shit either.

Were taking this thing to Willy fuckin' Wonk-a-land. I'm combining a couple of those oozing gummi bear trees (red) that i can just take my cane and knock them down, with those ball things that have chocolate inside...some of those everlasting gobstoppers.... gonna chew'em down 'til they turn to gum, then just spit 'em into the ice cream formula... looking at adding some of that river water too to keep down costs... while I have a minute, I'm jumpin' all over that golden egg weigher and finding that room that makes bigger stuff into smaller stuff. What's really going to make my week is finding that lickable wallpaper and sayin' some snotty Eeeeenglish accent... "Schnozberry, whoever heard of a Schnozberry"?

Over and over and over and over and...
 
I believe that they made some for awhile but the gum would just dissolve after like an hour.
 
Things have changed since 1971.

This is an alternate universe that you maybe not unaware of, Grandpa Joe is filthy rich and runs a successful escort service providing a lavish life for his family so that they never have to work again. Wonka is a "lunatic" who has killed the other children, sparing only Charlie so that he can become "the psychopath's protégé.

As the factory entered a production blitz, the Oompa Loompas came out of hiding and demanded a union, citing a high rate of past injuries. They were all mysteriously gassed with the deadly Phosgene in the midst of their first meeting on May 10, 2012. After the midget massacre investigation concluded within hours, the public was lead to believe there was a cover up leading to the boycott of all candies... after several failed attempts to tinker with the formulas and rebrand, the duo have since disappeared. The factory has gone dark... things aren't as they seem.

Even those Everlasting Gobstoppers are turning to gum.

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​
 
Nutty penis flavor
Because you figure it out ... and no it's not because I'm on the rag or think I'm some ghey ass vampyre
 
I would have guess you for Trudy Fruity- - - - - - - -
 
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