When you write this, you actually reached a point in life where your existence is pure misery.
You are a fat, depressed POS. Your mother hates you. Your father feels shame having a loser as a son.
You envy wealthy people. Men with power, status, looks and much beautiful women.
Your life is actually delivering food, streaming your sad life on tiktok, doomscrolling, shitting , jerking off to gay and shemale porn (because the normal stuff doesn't get you on). Rinse and repeat.
Hating and being jealous is your inner purpose and driver.
You know the dog shit at the street is more worth than you. Lol