How to trick your neigbours

[The Prowler]

This is a winter trick....

Shoveling the snow off the sidewalk is a pain in the ass. So this is a trick that I have going..

We would shovel the sidewalk of one of our next door neighbours whenever we got to it first. So they started doing our sidewalk when they got to it first. It was nice because you would only have to get the boots and coat on and all that about 50% of the time.

Then I said to my neighbour "Hey, how about I get my other next door neighbour in on this? Then we'll each only have to do it about 1/3rd of the time." and he was good with that. So my other next door neighbour agreed.

The thing is, nobody really keeps track of who does it. You see it first, you do it.

And I have not done shoveled the sidewalks in about 6 or 7 years. Both my next door neighbours think I do my share. Every once in a while I will say something like "The snow was fuckin' heavy the other day!" to them.

Stupid fuckin' neighbours.

 

[Lily]

Wow, a story about what an asshole you are...shocking!

 

[Scrawny The Ghost]

poisoning their water supply with LSD

 

[The Prowler]

One neighbour who I share some of the backyard fence with has stacks of firewood piled near the fence.

Before I go camping, in the middle of the night, I reach over the fence and snatch a bunch of the firewood for bonfires. I love bonfires, but firewood is so expensive. This saves us a lot of money.

 

[Seamajor]

Snow? What’s that?

 

[The Prowler]

So a few years ago I found this set of keys on the lawn of a neighbour just a few doors down. I thought for a second about checking with them to see if the keys were theirs, but then decided I should check myself.

I checked when they were gone to work and the door key worked for their front door. Nice! "I have gained access!"

So now I pop in every once in a while when they are at work when I need something - usually food, but they also have this nice Jacuzzi tub with a million jets that really feels good on my back. And their terry cloth towels are so plush!!

They get this really wicked cheese from the Netherlands that is way too expensive for me to afford, so I snag half a pound or so whenever I am there. They are rich (because they work), so they probably do not miss it; whereas I am dipping into my savings, so it really is only fair that they share their income with me.

 

[Dove]