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Sweatshop - Pure Drama
Meltdown
So whats Oaks excuse for not getting married?
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<blockquote data-quote="Dove" data-source="post: 732805" data-attributes="member: 535"><p>I'm not picking on you. </p><p></p><p> I'm just saying if you told her "hey let's go get married Monday" she would do it. Enthusiastically. </p><p></p><p> Marriage is a very worthy endeavor for so many reasons ....and reasons people dont normally think about when they think about marriage. </p><p></p><p> I'm not saying shes going to leave you. Just saying she would likely jump on the marriage thing. Women who live as live in girlfriend are always gonna have a part of them that is insecure and worried that you have a foot out the door at all times. You are the gatekeeper here as the man. Men are really at underestimating the power they have over women.</p><p></p><p> Personally for me I have abandonment issues. And part of that shows as an overcompensating to show that I DONT actually have abandonment issue. It would be stressful for me to not have that commitment because I would view it as he wants to make sure it's easily to walk out....and if he doesnt want to provide that security and he doesnt trust me on that level why would I give that person all the best of me? See what I'm saying? Give yourself completely to a person who is thinking the worst of you that you might abuse their commitment or who just wants to keep his pathway out the door clear of any substantial blockers. </p><p></p><p> We got Oak here who just doesnt have any reason bit shes in the epitome of healthy and loving relationships and Murd who is planning who is planning a full blown Catholic wedding. Both of these women are past 40 lol.</p><p> </p><p> Oak immediately goes to her EX. Shes BTDT. I used to think that logic made sense but at 42 if I wanted to settle down into a solid commitment i would be offended by that. I would feel I was getting scraps off someone elses table who was not nearly as good as me. Why does the current partner....the one she has a healthy and loving relationship with for over 5 years have to have his life and future decided by the prick from the past who didnt value his marriage? </p><p></p><p> This is just shows that I'm not actually the "damaged goods" here at all because the only things from my past I bring into my future are the core lessons learned. </p><p></p><p> Im by far MORE of a loving person. Not so much less. And I know myself pretty well and know that if a man was flakey or dodgey about marriage I wouldnt ever trust he was all in and I wouldnt put either of us through a relationship where I lack the emotional security I require. </p><p></p><p> I wouldnt be sucking it up and coming online all mad at everyone else like Oak does. </p><p></p><p> I'm trying to give her a safe place to talk about it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dove, post: 732805, member: 535"] I'm not picking on you. I'm just saying if you told her "hey let's go get married Monday" she would do it. Enthusiastically. Marriage is a very worthy endeavor for so many reasons ....and reasons people dont normally think about when they think about marriage. I'm not saying shes going to leave you. Just saying she would likely jump on the marriage thing. Women who live as live in girlfriend are always gonna have a part of them that is insecure and worried that you have a foot out the door at all times. You are the gatekeeper here as the man. Men are really at underestimating the power they have over women. Personally for me I have abandonment issues. And part of that shows as an overcompensating to show that I DONT actually have abandonment issue. It would be stressful for me to not have that commitment because I would view it as he wants to make sure it's easily to walk out....and if he doesnt want to provide that security and he doesnt trust me on that level why would I give that person all the best of me? See what I'm saying? Give yourself completely to a person who is thinking the worst of you that you might abuse their commitment or who just wants to keep his pathway out the door clear of any substantial blockers. We got Oak here who just doesnt have any reason bit shes in the epitome of healthy and loving relationships and Murd who is planning who is planning a full blown Catholic wedding. Both of these women are past 40 lol. Oak immediately goes to her EX. Shes BTDT. I used to think that logic made sense but at 42 if I wanted to settle down into a solid commitment i would be offended by that. I would feel I was getting scraps off someone elses table who was not nearly as good as me. Why does the current partner....the one she has a healthy and loving relationship with for over 5 years have to have his life and future decided by the prick from the past who didnt value his marriage? This is just shows that I'm not actually the "damaged goods" here at all because the only things from my past I bring into my future are the core lessons learned. Im by far MORE of a loving person. Not so much less. And I know myself pretty well and know that if a man was flakey or dodgey about marriage I wouldnt ever trust he was all in and I wouldnt put either of us through a relationship where I lack the emotional security I require. I wouldnt be sucking it up and coming online all mad at everyone else like Oak does. I'm trying to give her a safe place to talk about it. [/QUOTE]
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So whats Oaks excuse for not getting married?
