We need some more humor here
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Barber: Say No More
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2 cowboys talking about sex. 1 cowboy says "I like the rodeo position !" "I haven't heard of that ... " says the other cowboy, "what is it ?" "Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper "these feel just like your sisters" and try and hold on for 8 seconds !"
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A fireman and his wife want to spice up their lovemaking. The fireman says "When I say 1 alarm you run into the bedroom. When I say 2 alarms we get naked. When I say 3 alarms we go at it". They do this and the wife yells out "4 alarms!" The fireman says "What is 4 alarms?" The wife says "MORE HOSE!!".
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A woman went shopping for a Barbie doll for her daughter. One was $10 and another was $1000. When she asked why the difference the clerk said "That one is Divorced Barbie. She comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's airplane, and everything else Ken had".
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A well dressed attractive young Irish woman pulled up in front of her parent's house in a brand new Cadillac. When she rang the doorbell her Father answered. She said "I have come home after 10 years to make amends". Her father asked "So what has become of you?" "Dad, I am a prostitute" she said. "BEGONE!" yelled her Father. "I have no daughter!" "OK" she said as she handed him the keys. "Here. The car is for you. There is a brand new fur coat for Mom in the trunk. I won't bother you again". "Wait a minute" said the father. "What did you say you were?". "A prostitute" she said. "OH, is that all?" he said. "I thought you said you were a PROTESTANT! Welcome home!".
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A hot young blonde is standing at the edge of a cliff bawling her eyes out. An old smelly hobo walks up and says "are you okay young Lady?" Blonde says, "hell no I'm not okay. My life is awful, everything is going wrong and I'm going to jump and just end it all!" Hobo says, "would you like to have sex once more before you jump?" Blonde screams, "YUCK, YOUR DISCUSSING, YOUR FILTHY, SMELLY AND OLD! I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last man on Earth!" The Hobo hangs his head and starts walking away. Blonde says, "where are you going?" Hobo says, " down to the bottom of the cliff to wait for you."
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Now umm,
Woody the Woodpecker
Did you know:(?)
That his laugh is a sped up Pileated Woodpecker call
You've probably heard it many time w/o realizing what creature made it.
.. although
He is dressed more like a Red Headed Woody
Pretty hilarious, huh? :LOL2:
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@oldslowandugly
Did you know
Joey Ramone is interred in Lydhurst, NJ.
I at one time lived mere blocks from his burial site.
His birth name - Jeff Hyman. Yep - he was a Jewish boy.
Ramones - One of the truly great bands of all time.
Did you know
Joey Ramone is interred in Lydhurst, NJ.
I at one time lived mere blocks from his burial site.
His birth name - Jeff Hyman. Yep - he was a Jewish boy.
Ramones - One of the truly great bands of all time.
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The Ramones used to practice in Forest Hills garages. We used work on cars nearby and got to listen and they were pretty bad at first. Happily, they got better, and saved rock-n-roll from extinction. "Cruisin' around in my GTO" refers to the kids in Forest Hills High that had GTO's and cut class to hang around at the back end of the athletic field on the GCP service road. Slice of pizza, quart of Colt 45, couple of joints, good to go. Lots of those cars were built with parts from stolen cars. In those days anything abandoned on the streets was fair game for stripping. Back then it was easy to think NYC was circling the bowl and The Ramones were in the right place at the right time. HEY, HO! LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat on one of the stools. The bartender looks at him and asks him what he’d like to drink. The man orders four shots of whiskey for himself. The bartender looks at the man and says “Four shots for yourself? What’s the special occasion?” to which the man replies “First blowjob.” The bartender puts on a congratulatory smile and pats the man on the shoulder and says he’ll give him a fifth shot on the house. To which the man says “No thanks, if four shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will.”
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You are a sexy babe, @Swamp-Duck
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I don't understand this one :Anyone:
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Chocolate would be the correct answer of course :devil1:
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the only slo-joe speeds up is when a reporter asks him question
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Divorce attorney: "I have to advise you, frankly, that the fact that you consider your wife to be strange just isn't grounds for divorce."
Mickey Mouse: "I didn't say she was 'strange', I said she's fucking Goofy."
Mickey Mouse: "I didn't say she was 'strange', I said she's fucking Goofy."
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