Why did you breakup?

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Q

Q

Dictator of the Bastard Factory
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Why did you breakup with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
 

X

xXx
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she didn't have enough bits of food in her teeth ... sometimes she would brush interrupting the fermenting process ruining that odor
 

Scott

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Not on the throne like Elvis, I hope.
You know, to be honest, if I felt it coming on I'd hit that lever so fast.. just to redeem myself a tiny bit of dignity.
 

Swamp-Duck

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Not on the throne like Elvis, I hope.
You know, to be honest, if I felt it coming on I'd hit that lever so fast.. just to redeem myself a tiny bit of dignity.

Well if it’s true that when you die you can look down on yourself, it would be funny to see then have to wipe your arse before zipping up the body bag...
 

Scott

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Not on the throne like Elvis, I hope.
You know, to be honest, if I felt it coming on I'd hit that lever so fast.. just to redeem myself a tiny bit of dignity.

Well if it’s true that when you die you can look down on yourself, it would be funny to see then have to wipe your arse before zipping up the body bag...
Not funny, embarrassing. Trust me, the comments that get made.. Lol.
If you could look down, I advise, look away lol.

There was this one guy who died naked on his toilet plunger with a thing of Vasoline nearby, so.. Just sayin'
 

Scott

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It was so awkward and I kept looking up at the ceiling as if to apologize lmao.
Was he in full rigor..now that would be funny...
I don't think they get a hard on when they die, then again I don't look.
The worst was this old Italian lady, a hold out in a nigger neighborhood. For one week she sat in a chair dead and her two cats ate her cheeks off and gave her a smile that would haunt you.
 

Swamp-Duck

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It was so awkward and I kept looking up at the ceiling as if to apologize lmao.
Was he in full rigor..now that would be funny...
I don't think they get a hard on when they die, then again I don't look.
The worst was this old Italian lady, a hold out in a nigger neighborhood. For one week she sat in a chair dead and her two cats ate her cheeks off and gave her a smile that would haunt you.
Did it smell ?
 

Scott

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It was so awkward and I kept looking up at the ceiling as if to apologize lmao.
Was he in full rigor..now that would be funny...
I don't think they get a hard on when they die, then again I don't look.
The worst was this old Italian lady, a hold out in a nigger neighborhood. For one week she sat in a chair dead and her two cats ate her cheeks off and gave her a smile that would haunt you.
Did it smell ?
Like Betty Davis spilled perfume on a month old corpse to hide it.

She had a huge record collection and the local jigs broke in to sift through it before we arrived. I.e., Frank Sinatra, Glenn Miller, Elvis, etc.
 

Breakfall

Such is life...
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Had this one chick with an absolute shit laugh. It sounded like someone trying to start up a car with a flat battery...

“Ugh-HA, Ugh-HA, Ugh- Ha, Ugh- Ha- uuugh.”

It was a cringing moment at quiet restaurants and cinemas!
:cautious:
 

Breakfall

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I went out with this chick that laid the makeup on like a fucking white mud mask on our first date. We pashed a bit, but that didn’t lead to anything exciting, and then had an average night on the town. I went to the toilet to have a piss, then went to the wash hand basin and scoped my head out in the mirror to see if I was still looking sharp. And there I was looking back at me with a white fucking mud mask nose looking like bozo the clown!

I never dated another chick that required much makeup after that fucking circus...