Are Young Mothers or Fathers closer to their children than Older Ones?

[Joe]

...principally because they have more in common with them?

ie - their tastes in music, fashions, entertainment and popular culture?

And does this enable them to share more meaningful experiences with them together?

Or is this relevant at all?

 

[Breakfall]

Both my parents were teenagers. My mother had me when she was only 18 years old. She gave me my first meaningful vinyl album that belonged to her 10 year prior, Jethro Tull’s Aqualung. We were very close. I was 10. But I digress...

My parents were young, and with their youth came mistakes. Bringing up children can be a hard task for any parent, particularly young ones. My parents were hippies, that was very challenging for me. Particularly when they grew my hair into a ridiculous mullet.

As the years went by we grew closer and the generation gap diminished. My mother has left this world, but my father and I are good mates. Almost like brothers.

 

[Blazor]

Well, my mom had me a month after she turned 16. (Thats me in my current avatar with my mom, lol jk). Anyway, my dad was 22, and they both divorced when I was 1. I lived with my great grandparents on the weekdays, and my great aunt on the weekends til I was 5. Then started living with my mom. Seemed the older I got, like by around age 10 or so, is when her and I bonded more it seemed. By the time I was 12, I was full grown, and people started thinking I was her lil brother lol. Sadly, she died at the age of 40, and I was 24. They ruled it suicide, but I have clues that make me think it was her crazy ex that did it. My dad gone too, he died a few years ago at the age of 63, a year after retiring. Kidney failure. I only seen him 4 times til I was old enough to drive. He tried coming around some, then we had ups and downs til a few years before he died, then he really tried being a dad. Made it sadder when he went.

I had my son at the same age my dad did, 22 (grandad was the same way, 22). My son is now 22 and Im 44, my dad would be 66, and my grandad woulda been 88 lol. I think me being younger helped, cause I didnt "feel too old" to do things like hiking, and swimming, and riding a bike with him and stuff, you know, dad stuff lol. His mom died when he was 14 I think, felt so bad for him. We got closer than, cause I was the only parent left, and we tried supporting each other.


As to same music, fashion, entertainment, I dont think those material things come into play much, its more of a matter if both parent and child, can find a common ground. One where its ok to be a friend, but be a parent when you should be a parent. A mutual respect for one another as well. Cause if a parent cant respect their child, and a child cant respect their parent, there isnt much of a bond.

 

[Swamp-Duck]

I wasn’t close to my parents at all, I loved my Nan though, she was a lot of fun, but extremely superstitious, it did rub off on me lol...

 

[Oerdin]

Younger parents tend to screw up more and have fewer resources.

 

[Breakfall]

Younger parents tend to screw up more and have fewer resources.

True, but then I also lived a part of their youth too. And that is a lot more sacred in my opinion.

 

[Seamajor]

Younger parents tend to screw up more and have fewer resources.

Not necessarily. I was young as was my first wife. I started work as an apprentice electrician. I saw the potential of this trade, and the other avenues opened up. I worked my ass off for 25 years almost everyday. In many ways I neglected them, because I was building a future.I built and lived in the first house we owned. Some how they understood my neglect and became accustomed to hard work and commitment. They are now both successful in construction related businesses in the Bay Area. Me? I’m spending my life doing exactly what I want. Isn’t this what most people Desire?