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The point of revenge is to be SUBTLE - quiet and stealthy. Make sure your freedom NEVER gets put @ stake. People who key cars or breaks windows are punks. Period. Personally I'd rather confront someone/issue directly, preferably in their space, squash it and move on. However for some, there are other approaches that I still find quite amusing...
Here's my minor collection of petty passive aggression that I've been adding to since 2009.
Feel free to add your own...
IF you're... far away
If you're far away you'll still need their cellphone# or address and know their name or email then use ... Great way to look up people online and find everything on someone for free.
- Order local services to their house from 5 different places so they come to the house about 30 minutes apart.
- Order a dumpster to their house.
- Order a moving crate or POD to their house... gotta find the ones that don't need a deposit.
- Have people call his office repeatedly pretending to be collections agents. I like this one.
- SMS bomb. The word "owned" will bring you much more joy when it is send to your enemy in 2 million text messages... all at once.
- Google Street View. Enough said.
- Combine these at one time and you're golden. There are companies that for birthdays, will place pink flamingos on your lawn for the age you turn, early in the morning, like before dawn early. Ask them when they place it and get an exact time down. Then go into the Male4Male on Craigslist and set that up for 15 minutes after the flamingo placers are gone. Third, hire a local gardener to start mowing the lawn when the gay guy arrives. Here's a few I just found...
- Got some extra cash? Hire that extra hot, tranny hooker that needs the relevance! Time it right and they'll get the surprise of his life!
- Craigslist or also spend a little cash and advertise in the local newspaper. Get a full page ad that says something like "You can also make FREE phone calls through Comcast, AT&T, and T-Mobile just dial this number (your marks number of course) between 11pm and 6am only and ASK US HOW.
- Post in the Male4Male section on CL how he 'loves sucking dicks and such'...ad saying that 'they' had a fantasy of getting raped. Supply address, and the times that they're typically around. *** Be careful w/ this one…. and
- You can write/type *cough* bogus news stories, she/he could be the subject of almost any sort of execrable activity, send them to certain local watch groups... such as child molesting, sexual perversion, child abuse, elder abuse, killing kittens, starving and beating puppies, poaching fawns, self abuse in public, and on and on.... ???
- Hire a stripper to appear on a Holiday or backyard event... they'll come quick if you agree upon 'cash in fist'.
- Tip off ICE that you've seen a lot of 'hispanic families moving in and out of the house last few weeks' and thought you'd call after seeing the tractor trailer late last night, etc.
Classifieds...
- Place ads for free electronics in the paper with his phone number in it.
- Place a personals ad with his contact information in newspapers and on Craigslist.
- Job transfer ad on Craigslist like for a modeling job or employment and then put in there real phone #.
- Post they're looking for a roommate. Instruct callers to call after midnight (shift work is the explanation you can offer), and explain in the ad that quick cash is needed for an emergency. That will bring in the phone calls.
- Post male for male casual encounter ads on Craigslist / go to craigslist and put up a few personal ads on the men seeking men section. post his home phone number and make sure they only call during dinner time.
- Put their car up for sale. Describe it with pics. I'm sure you can get a few photos of it. Instruct callers to call after midnight (shift work is the explanation you can offer), and explain in the ad that quick cash is needed for an emergency. That will bring in the phone calls.
- Write a nice, polite, literate letter/email in your marks name and repeatedly send it to multiple Scientology locations throughout the US - these guys are relentless. Tell them how this has always been a dream to own their books (this cult is into the book selling biz fyi) and then quote some of the latest propaganda to them. Rinse repeat. I had them contact me a few times a week for many months looking for some guy and they would not stop. This ones gold. Sign 'em up!
- Combine these at one time and you're golden. There are companies that for birthdays, will place pink flamingos on your lawn for the age you turn, early in the morning, like before dawn early. Ask them when they place it and get an exact time down. Then go into the Male4Male on Craigslist and set that up for 15 minutes after the flamingo placers are gone. Third, hire a local gardener to start mowing the lawn when the gay guy arrives. Here's a few I just found... or
- This one requires patience. Collect a massive list of all in house doctors, lawyers, CPAs, pizza, chinese, (any delivery), limos, taxis, locksmiths, uber and Lyft pre set appts., tow trucks, garage repair, plumbers, electricians, painters, computer repair, tv repair, washer dryer repair. IF they require deposits, etc. TELL them you want estimates or quotes and ready to do work today if we can work something out. haha. (I'm in sales)… Over a one week period use a prepaid cell phone bought with cash to call each place on your list of 500 places and schedule appointments starting the next day. If you hammer dial you can blast that list out in a few days. This will cause countless people to show up at his door flipping out, demanding payment, blah blah. Make sure to use a prepaid cell phone as this is harassment.
- Post this on Craigslist, local paper, larger papers.... "NEED MONEY? Day work $16+ an hour, paid under the table, no questions asked. Accepting Phone calls DAILY between 6:00 and 8:00 am A.M. only at _____#_____ so call to see what's available. Day work is 'First come first serve'.
IF you're... close by
- Make up elaborate flyers for a wild party at your enemy's home and wait for the guests to arrive - A rave with ecstasy and such would work nicely. No phone calls.
- Scatter .22 rimfire shells all over his lawn. There cheap and great fun when he mows.
- Shit in their cats litter box.
- Upper Decker... when you poop into the tank on the back of their toilet. You classy bastard, you.
- Whole, un gutted fish in the chair swivel, underneath the passenger side car seat, up into the mechanics of the chair if possible. I did this to my boss in 2005 who drove his beater to work and never rolled up the windows. Hated this man, but I never knew the results... :(
- Shrimp... everywhere. You want to put the shrimp inside curtain rods, behind air vents, and inside framed pictures. Whenever possible, the best place to hide it is a place that requires a tool to access, because when you're looking for a new stink in your home, you're going to assume that it came from something that fell on your floor and look in places like under the couch and behind chairs. No one ever looks in framed photos of family for shellfish. That's insane. Also put one in a bottle of shampoo, the exhaust fans in both the kitchen and the bathroom, inside a clock, also you can take the plate off of a light switch and toss some into the wall.
- From their home phone you could call the Whitehouse and make threats. Next day the Secret Service will apprehend him and hold him for a MANDATORY SIX MONTHS, for threatening the president and his family.
- Make up elaborate flyers for a wild party at your enemy's home and wait for the guests to arrive - A rave with ecstasy and such would work nicely.
- Bumper stickers... Buy them online and go stick'em as you can.
Fuck you copper!!! I'm untouchable!
I Hate Niggers! Should hang them all!
Just Say No!! To Megan's Law
My Kid Anally Raped Your Honor Student
Your Wife... Is my finger puppet
Kiddie Pornster & I Vote locally!
RU-486 It BRINGS OUT the kid in ya!
Woo Hoo!!! No More Wire Hangers - RU-486 is legal!!!
I Love BUKAKKE!!!
I rather be FISTING UR kids!
My Other Ride is a BIG COCK! HONK
Fuck the Police
- Write a nasty message on your target's lawn in weed killer using a spray bottle, they'll never get rid of the bald patches.
- Create a colorful flyer that there will be a HELPING HANDS (make something up) banquet FREE TO ALL meal running all weekend long at the marks home. Hang these in all the homeless shelters and local YMCA, surrounding areas.
- Contact the local Salvation Army, Goodwill, or whatever charity and report your mark for stealing out of the organization donation bins... give them his license plate number and description. Tell them you've seen this happen before and this time you've followed him around, etc. lol.
Here's my minor collection of petty passive aggression that I've been adding to since 2009.
Feel free to add your own...
IF you're... far away
If you're far away you'll still need their cellphone# or address and know their name or email then use ... Great way to look up people online and find everything on someone for free.
- Order local services to their house from 5 different places so they come to the house about 30 minutes apart.
- Order a dumpster to their house.
- Order a moving crate or POD to their house... gotta find the ones that don't need a deposit.
- Have people call his office repeatedly pretending to be collections agents. I like this one.
- SMS bomb. The word "owned" will bring you much more joy when it is send to your enemy in 2 million text messages... all at once.
- Google Street View. Enough said.
- Combine these at one time and you're golden. There are companies that for birthdays, will place pink flamingos on your lawn for the age you turn, early in the morning, like before dawn early. Ask them when they place it and get an exact time down. Then go into the Male4Male on Craigslist and set that up for 15 minutes after the flamingo placers are gone. Third, hire a local gardener to start mowing the lawn when the gay guy arrives. Here's a few I just found...
- Got some extra cash? Hire that extra hot, tranny hooker that needs the relevance! Time it right and they'll get the surprise of his life!
- Craigslist or also spend a little cash and advertise in the local newspaper. Get a full page ad that says something like "You can also make FREE phone calls through Comcast, AT&T, and T-Mobile just dial this number (your marks number of course) between 11pm and 6am only and ASK US HOW.
- Post in the Male4Male section on CL how he 'loves sucking dicks and such'...ad saying that 'they' had a fantasy of getting raped. Supply address, and the times that they're typically around. *** Be careful w/ this one…. and
- You can write/type *cough* bogus news stories, she/he could be the subject of almost any sort of execrable activity, send them to certain local watch groups... such as child molesting, sexual perversion, child abuse, elder abuse, killing kittens, starving and beating puppies, poaching fawns, self abuse in public, and on and on.... ???
- Hire a stripper to appear on a Holiday or backyard event... they'll come quick if you agree upon 'cash in fist'.
- Tip off ICE that you've seen a lot of 'hispanic families moving in and out of the house last few weeks' and thought you'd call after seeing the tractor trailer late last night, etc.
Classifieds...
- Place ads for free electronics in the paper with his phone number in it.
- Place a personals ad with his contact information in newspapers and on Craigslist.
- Job transfer ad on Craigslist like for a modeling job or employment and then put in there real phone #.
- Post they're looking for a roommate. Instruct callers to call after midnight (shift work is the explanation you can offer), and explain in the ad that quick cash is needed for an emergency. That will bring in the phone calls.
- Post male for male casual encounter ads on Craigslist / go to craigslist and put up a few personal ads on the men seeking men section. post his home phone number and make sure they only call during dinner time.
- Put their car up for sale. Describe it with pics. I'm sure you can get a few photos of it. Instruct callers to call after midnight (shift work is the explanation you can offer), and explain in the ad that quick cash is needed for an emergency. That will bring in the phone calls.
- Write a nice, polite, literate letter/email in your marks name and repeatedly send it to multiple Scientology locations throughout the US - these guys are relentless. Tell them how this has always been a dream to own their books (this cult is into the book selling biz fyi) and then quote some of the latest propaganda to them. Rinse repeat. I had them contact me a few times a week for many months looking for some guy and they would not stop. This ones gold. Sign 'em up!
- Combine these at one time and you're golden. There are companies that for birthdays, will place pink flamingos on your lawn for the age you turn, early in the morning, like before dawn early. Ask them when they place it and get an exact time down. Then go into the Male4Male on Craigslist and set that up for 15 minutes after the flamingo placers are gone. Third, hire a local gardener to start mowing the lawn when the gay guy arrives. Here's a few I just found... or
- This one requires patience. Collect a massive list of all in house doctors, lawyers, CPAs, pizza, chinese, (any delivery), limos, taxis, locksmiths, uber and Lyft pre set appts., tow trucks, garage repair, plumbers, electricians, painters, computer repair, tv repair, washer dryer repair. IF they require deposits, etc. TELL them you want estimates or quotes and ready to do work today if we can work something out. haha. (I'm in sales)… Over a one week period use a prepaid cell phone bought with cash to call each place on your list of 500 places and schedule appointments starting the next day. If you hammer dial you can blast that list out in a few days. This will cause countless people to show up at his door flipping out, demanding payment, blah blah. Make sure to use a prepaid cell phone as this is harassment.
- Post this on Craigslist, local paper, larger papers.... "NEED MONEY? Day work $16+ an hour, paid under the table, no questions asked. Accepting Phone calls DAILY between 6:00 and 8:00 am A.M. only at _____#_____ so call to see what's available. Day work is 'First come first serve'.
IF you're... close by
- Make up elaborate flyers for a wild party at your enemy's home and wait for the guests to arrive - A rave with ecstasy and such would work nicely. No phone calls.
- Scatter .22 rimfire shells all over his lawn. There cheap and great fun when he mows.
- Shit in their cats litter box.
- Upper Decker... when you poop into the tank on the back of their toilet. You classy bastard, you.
- Whole, un gutted fish in the chair swivel, underneath the passenger side car seat, up into the mechanics of the chair if possible. I did this to my boss in 2005 who drove his beater to work and never rolled up the windows. Hated this man, but I never knew the results... :(
- Shrimp... everywhere. You want to put the shrimp inside curtain rods, behind air vents, and inside framed pictures. Whenever possible, the best place to hide it is a place that requires a tool to access, because when you're looking for a new stink in your home, you're going to assume that it came from something that fell on your floor and look in places like under the couch and behind chairs. No one ever looks in framed photos of family for shellfish. That's insane. Also put one in a bottle of shampoo, the exhaust fans in both the kitchen and the bathroom, inside a clock, also you can take the plate off of a light switch and toss some into the wall.
- From their home phone you could call the Whitehouse and make threats. Next day the Secret Service will apprehend him and hold him for a MANDATORY SIX MONTHS, for threatening the president and his family.
- Make up elaborate flyers for a wild party at your enemy's home and wait for the guests to arrive - A rave with ecstasy and such would work nicely.
- Bumper stickers... Buy them online and go stick'em as you can.
Fuck you copper!!! I'm untouchable!
I Hate Niggers! Should hang them all!
Just Say No!! To Megan's Law
My Kid Anally Raped Your Honor Student
Your Wife... Is my finger puppet
Kiddie Pornster & I Vote locally!
RU-486 It BRINGS OUT the kid in ya!
Woo Hoo!!! No More Wire Hangers - RU-486 is legal!!!
I Love BUKAKKE!!!
I rather be FISTING UR kids!
My Other Ride is a BIG COCK! HONK
Fuck the Police
- Write a nasty message on your target's lawn in weed killer using a spray bottle, they'll never get rid of the bald patches.
- Create a colorful flyer that there will be a HELPING HANDS (make something up) banquet FREE TO ALL meal running all weekend long at the marks home. Hang these in all the homeless shelters and local YMCA, surrounding areas.
- Contact the local Salvation Army, Goodwill, or whatever charity and report your mark for stealing out of the organization donation bins... give them his license plate number and description. Tell them you've seen this happen before and this time you've followed him around, etc. lol.