I was walking home about to cross the light when a woman your age came up to me & and asked for some money so she could have something to eat
@Dove
so I reached into my pocket and gave her a couple of dollars.
Then she thanked me and walked away.
It's hard to turn your back on people like that because at least I feel their pain.
I didn't wanna be cruel so I gave her something.
Actually, I don't mind giving to female beggars/street people as much because usu they just walk away after I give them something.
However I'm somewhat reluctant to give to men because of some bad experiences I had with them in the past.
Give these guys something, and they keep coming back asking for more like Wild Animals.
so I'd rather give money to someone who needs it & doesn't bother me after that.
Women use drugs as well, Joe.
There used to an arab Muslim woman who would sit on the corner of a trafficky intersection a few miles away. Which is odd to see in my area, as I live in a middle class/upper middle class area so we dont often see pan handlers this close to us.
For months she would be out there all day everyday with about 4 kids. The oldest looked about 12, the youngest was an infant. And she would hold her sign "need food. Please help".
Our butcher that we go to was very close to where this woman would sit. And one day as we were in there buying meat, we started talking about her and noticed we hadn't seen her in a few weeks. Our butcher told us he actually put together a whole package of beef, chicken, some rice, a whole bunch of food (its a middle eastern meat market, the guy who runs it is from Lebanon and him and his family work the place) and he took it out to her, and she REFUSED it. Adamantly. Not in the "oh I cannot accept this!" Way....she flat out said "No! I dont want it!"
And I guess he wasnt the only one who tried to give this woman groceries, because eventually someone reported her and it turns out her husband was forcing her to do that.
They had a house. In Troy even. They had plenty of food. But he was forcing her to take their kids and sit out there and begging every single day.
I still will give money to pan handlers if it easy to give it to them and I have change or singles. I feel better about helping actual outreaches because in order for people to get help, they have to be willing to follow the rules and not be drinking and using drugs and id rather give or volunteer for those who are fighting for their lives.
I know here in the US, the average time a person remains on the streets when they've become homeless due to some crisis is 3 months. We have so many places that will help people. No one in the US stays on the streets very long IF they do not want to.
Its difficult for some people to understand that most of the people you see out on the streets are there by choice. They are all in that place where they have given up and chosen to remain on the streets and stay high and/or drunk. All of them have their own tragic stories but it almost always starts with childhood trauma and abuse they've endured. Not all im sure....but most.
And they can make their choices, and ill pray for them but I am not likely to help them kill themselves. If one of those panhandlers asked me for help to get somewhere for the help they need? I'd cancel my plans for that day and make sure they got somewhere.
Empathy is understanding the emotions of humans. That's it. It isnt "feeling bad" for people.....thats just condescending when it comes to some situations. It's understanding and being able to relate to their emotions. Empathy is when someone is excited over a new job or a major life event and you get excited with them because you understand that feeling.
And its also understanding HOW to respond. If some man is drinking himself to death on the streets and he asks you for money, is it really compassion to give it to him? Is that what's best? Give it to him so we can feel good about OURSELVES? The "awww im such a great person. I give my money to beggers because I know being on the streets is hard and im not going to judge them like those other, mean and selfish people!"
NOT saying that's you. I'm saying we should always be examining our own motives. Humans by nature are selfish beings. We like praise. We like to look good and feel good. We like to be seen as "good" people. And we are not above using the down trodden as tools to satisfy our own narcissistic tendencies. We care more about LOOKING good than we do about actually BEING good. So its pays to show our own selves some empathy and to practice humility.....especially when you are now dealing with helping another human. Busy body do gooders and do A LOT of damage.