Doing drugs with your kids

[Dove]

Moreso when that roomate is a bitchy bitch.

Or married to his mother.

 

[Murdy]

Moreso when that roomate is a bitchy bitch.

Or married to his mother.

Luckily, I’ve never had to deal with one of those.

I do have one who had a mother who would call him over their intercom and ask him to do things and he would ask why and she would say “because I’m the mommy” or “because I like it better when you do it” ~ which I find to be hilarious.

She was babied by the father as well. When I met the father, the first story he told me was about when he met her. We lay him to rest next week so he can be with her for eternity. If only all marriages were this simple.

 

[cw_]

I happen to passionately agree with this.

So do I.

 

[Lily]

AGAIN, I left out words from the statement.

That’s your choice. I gave my reasoning for mine.

"platonic marriage" is completely acceptable when the partners are no longer sexually or romantically involved

 

[Murdy]

"platonic marriage" is completely acceptable when the partners are no longer sexually or romantically involved

I can see how the way I wrote it was confusing, which is why I clarified.

 

[Murdy]

I guess the next question is…

Would it be cheating if the marriage is technically already over?

 

[cw_]

I'd say yes if there is lying or sneaking involved. Because dishonesty.

 

[Lily]

I guess the next question is…

Would it be cheating if the marriage is technically already over?

That's a tough one. I think it completely depends on the context.

 

[Dove]

I guess the next question is…

Would it be cheating if the marriage is technically already over?

I don't think so. Especially if you tell the other person.

If everything is out in the open and you end one relationship before starting the other I don't consider that cheating.

 

[Dove]

I'd say yes if there is lying or sneaking involved. Because dishonesty.

That's where I call cheating.

 

[Lily]

Though, to be honest, I think individual leaving relationships should take a break before starting a new romantic relationship. We need time to reflect on what work we need to do to fix things that were broken, imo.

 

[Dove]

Though, to be honest, I think individual leaving relationships should take a break before starting a new romantic relationship. We need time to reflect on what work we need to do to fix things that were broken, imo.

Most women who leave relationships have been checked out for a significant period of time and have already done all that.

They've tried. They've grieved. They reflected.

 

[Dove]

Especially if you have children and you've come to terms but resigned yourself to your reality.

You've been out of that relationship for years but you stay because of kids. But you've been sleeping on the couch for 7 fucking years.

Ya know.

 

[Murdy]

I consider an emotional affair cheating when you are in a relationship.

 

[Murdy]

Though, to be honest, I think individual leaving relationships should take a break before starting a new romantic relationship. We need time to reflect on what work we need to do to fix things that were broken, imo.

I agree. I got divorced and while I was in therapy for that, I realized I had never dealt with my first love and the guy I lost my virginity to. It was an emotional unraveling.

I had not dated or had a fling with anyone for the 14 months before I started this relationship and I am grateful for that.

 

[Garraty_47]

People suck.

Cats are awesome.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk on acquiring and maintaining loving relationships.

Now fuck off of my godsdamned lawn before I turn on the sprinklers.

 

[cw_]

No. Running in sprinklers is too much fun. :P

 

[Garraty_47]

No. Running in sprinklers is too much fun. :P

Drat.
I can't argue with that.

Well played, luv. Well played.

 

[cw_]

Especially if you have children and you've come to terms but resigned yourself to your reality.

You've been out of that relationship for years but you stay because of kids. But you've been sleeping on the couch for 7 fucking years.

Ya know.

Unfortunately, yes, I know. Happily my 'kids' are all in their 30's now and I've had my very own bedroom/house for a nice long time.

 

[Lily]

Most women who leave relationships have been checked out for a significant period of time and have already done all that.

They've tried. They've grieved. They reflected.

I don't know about most women. Perhaps some, yes. There is something to be said for being alone. I learned it from my own experience.

I got out of a marriage than was 17 years long and pretty quickly got into another relationship, within a year. It was a mess and I figured that out rather quickly. I ended that relationship and spent the next 5 years with no relationship. I went out and had fun when my children were with their dad, but never got involved again with anyone in a serious way for 5 years. I had to look at what I had been contributing to those relationships, the pros and the cons. I was unwilling to keep making the same mistakes I made those two times. And I haven't.

After those five years, I found my life partner. We've been together since 2013. Starting our 12th year in late August. I have my person and don't see that changing.

 

[Dove]

I consider an emotional affair cheating when you are in a relationship.

Yep I would to.

And I did that for sure.

 

[Dove]

I don't know about most women. Perhaps some, yes. There is something to be said for being alone. I learned it from my own experience.

I got out of a marriage than was 17 years long and pretty quickly got into another relationship, within a year. It was a mess and I figured that out rather quickly. I ended that relationship and spent the next 5 years with no relationship. I went out and had fun when my children were with their dad, but never got involved again with anyone in a serious way for 5 years. I had to look at what I had been contributing to those relationships, the pros and the cons. I was unwilling to keep making the same mistakes I made those two times. And I haven't.

After those five years, I found my life partner. We've been together since 2013. Starting our 12th year in late August. I have my person and don't see that changing.

Do you feel it was significant to be single over the course of those 5 years in order to properly reflect on where you felt you were going wrong in relationships?

So you must have been trying to make it work until the ending?

 

[Dove]

Unfortunately, yes, I know. Happily my 'kids' are all in their 30's now and I've had my very own bedroom/house for a nice long time.

Oh man. Mine were happy when I announced divorce.

They literally said "OMG finally. We knew it was coming"

They are SO happy about how this went that it makes me feel guilty for waiting that long.

 

[cw_]

Well, it may be that's part of the reason one can't really say 'most women', as all relationships and circumstances would be unique.

 

[Lily]

Do you feel it was significant to be single over the course of those 5 years in order to properly reflect on where you felt you were going wrong in relationships?

So you must have been trying to make it work until the ending?

Not single to reflect for 5 years. Just figuring out what I wanted and finding that person. I was in my 40's by then. I had teenagers. I was working full-time. I had to bring home the bacon to raise my children, financially all on my own.

So, I was wary of taking on someone with big issues since times were rough. There are a lot of people out there with issues. Oh boy. I could write a book about all the men and strange dates I had. It would be a comedy/tragedy/horror show all in one. It was entertaining though. lololol

When I ran past my guy it was a pretty instantaneous connection. He was/is extremely intelligent, kind, with a dry and pithy sense of humor...he checked all the boxes. He's more serious than I am. He brings his dry humor and I bring in the goofy and I make him laugh.

Yesterday, I was, as we say in the hood, clowning him. I think the trolling yesterday spilled over into a state of mind for me. I was teasing him, sort of mocking him on one of his personal quirks...he was standing making a sandwich on the kitchen island. I see him shake his head, then he's chuckling sort of ruefully. He looks up at me and says "You know, sometimes you're just insufferable."

I said "Who me?" with a faux wide-eyed innocent look. I started giggling, then chuckling and before he knew it he was laughing out loud while I'm laughing my ass off. This is how we get on.

 

[Dove]

Well, it may be that's part of the reason one can't really say 'most women', as all relationships and circumstances would be unique.

I've just read - and seen....that women are unique in that by the time we are leaving we have already processed that ending.

Which I found comforting by the way....because that happened to me and we don't like feeling alone.

 

[Dove]

Not single to reflect for 5 years. Just figuring out what I wanted and finding that person. I was in my 40's by then. I had teenagers. I was working full-time. I had to bring home the bacon to raise my children, financially all on my own.

So, I was wary of taking on someone with big issues since times were rough. There are a lot of people out there with issues. Oh boy. I could write a book about all the men and strange dates I had. It would be a comedy/tragedy/horror show all in one. It was entertaining though. lololol

When I ran past my guy it was a pretty instantaneous connection. He was/is extremely intelligent, kind, with a dry and pithy sense of humor...he checked all the boxes. He's more serious than I am. He brings his dry humor and I bring in the goofy and I make him laugh.

Yesterday, I was, as we say in the hood, clowning him. I think the trolling yesterday spilled over into a state of mind for me. I was teasing him, sort of mocking him on one of his personal quirks...he was standing making a sandwich on the kitchen island. I see him shake his head, then he's chuckling sort of ruefully. He looks up at me and says "You know, sometimes you're just insufferable."

I said "Who me?" with a faux wide-eyed innocent look. I started giggling, then chuckling and before he knew it he was laughing out loud while I'm laughing my ass off. This is how we get on.

I think in our 40s we know what we don't wanna fuck with lol.

 

[Lily]

I think in our 40s we know what we don't wanna fuck with lol.

Oh yeah. And so many men coming out of their divorces think they're gonna get a 20 something year old. Yeah, buddy, you got a lot of cash?

I remember being in my early 20's and men in their late 30's seemed old...and some women do want financial security. To each her own. They will attract that kind of younger woman.

 

[Dove]

My man told me about 5 years ago that my Christainity made me insufferable.

I get it lol

 

[Lily]

My man told me about 5 years ago that my Christainity made me insufferable.

I get it lol

We are about as different as we can be in our politics. Once, we were debating a political issue. We are passionate debaters, the both of us. A friend of his said something like "How do you guys get manage to get along?" or something along those lines.

I looked at her and said "Oh, we consider this foreplay." She turned beet red, he laughed and I just smiled at her. It was great.

lol