Have you peeps ever heard of limerence?

[LotusBud]

It happens to me here and there. In a mild form. LOL

Lay terms for limerence: romantic love, crazy love, lovesick, mad love, amour fort.

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[LotusBud]

No one?

 

[Garraty_47]

No one?

I've only been madly foolishly irrationally deeply in love once and that was a long time ago.

...but even then I wouldn't take advice from Oprah. LoL

 

[Admin.]

No one?

I’ve had the feeling, but don’t recall this word.

 

[LotusBud]

I've only been madly foolishly irrationally deeply in love once and that was a long time ago.

...but even then I wouldn't take advice from Oprah. LoL

I don't think Oprah wrote that. That was just the first article I found on it. Limerence is a thing. There are whole books about it. Ted talks. Psychologists have a field day with it.

 

[LotusBud]

I’ve had the feeling, but don’t recall this word.

Most people don't know the world. I was stunned when I found my silliness has a whole body of work about it.

 

[Dove]

I've only been madly foolishly irrationally deeply in love once and that was a long time ago.

...but even then I wouldn't take advice from Oprah. LoL

Ha! Same.

Not saying I havent loved.....just that foolish, irrational deep shit only once lol

 

[Dove]

Oh damn! I didnt mean to necro I just saw this on a list....LOL

But while the topic is at hand......Oak is having really bad sex guys. That's why shes so mad.

 

[Garraty_47]

Ha! Same.

Not saying I havent loved.....just that foolish, irrational deep shit only once lol

I chalk it up to... well a lot of stuff but primarily naivete.
I'd never felt anything like that before and it kind of caused me to malfunction there for a while.

 

[Dove]

I chalk it up to... well a lot of stuff but primarily naivete.
I'd never felt anything like that before and it kind of caused me to malfunction there for a while.

I feel you lol.

It's like a retarded demon possesses you lol.

And thank GOD it was only once because it's fun and all but it's very disabling.

I like to be the smooth one with the emotional control lol

I was younger and pretty naive myself so...yeah.

 

[Dove]

I had a friend who was always in some level of limerace. Always.

She was all about that shit. And her relationships were all hot and heavy for the first like 6 months or so. I suspect she was also somewhat cluster b.

I've read that the state limerace has a shelf life of two years. And then you start to calm down and settle into a more sustainable and (imo and ideally) stronger love. Which is good because that would be no way to live your life. You cant think about shit else. It's so consuming.

And yes when I was going through it I studied that shit because that's what I do with everything lol. It is like being high on drugs.

 

[Garraty_47]

I feel you lol.

It's like a retarded demon possesses you lol.

And thank GOD it was only once because it's fun and all but it's very disabling.

I like to be the smooth one with the emotional control lol

I was younger and pretty naive myself so...yeah.

For me it's the pain.
I don't ever want to feel that soul-deep lingering agony ever again, especially when a clearer head now understands that we weren't really all that compatible anyway.

I went through all that shit for essentially no good reason at all.
And it's not that I blame her or anything of the kind... I did it to myself.

 

[Dove]

For me it's the pain.
I don't ever want to feel that soul-deep lingering agony ever again, especially when a clearer head now understands that we weren't really all that compatible anyway.

I went through all that shit for essentially no good reason at all.
And it's not that I blame her or anything of the kind... I did it to myself.

Did it go badly? You really feel it was for no good reason?

And I get that too. I think it definately heals but it always stays with you. There were a lot of good things about it that I hold onto.

I wish it had been a compatibility issue.....for me it was way more a timing issue. All the time. Bad time all the time kinda thing.

 

[Garraty_47]

Did it go badly? You really feel it was for no good reason?

There wasn't an ugly ending or anything like that.
We even stayed in touch for a while, off and on.
It actually might have been better for me if there'd been a clean break; there were a lot of lingering hopes and imaginary scenarios and that kind of junk that only kept my wounds open and fresh for waaay longer than they should have been.

I suppose the pain I mentioned was in large part a cumulative effect caused by not fully letting go for so long and that was part of what I called my malfunction. First it was ignoring some what should have been pretty obvious signs that we wouldn't be a long-term thing and then the sheer amount of time it took me to finally internalize how ridiculous I was being.

And I said I put myself *through all that* for no good reason.
Because we didn't click in the ways that people who will be together for a long time will click and the break-up shouldn't have been as big a deal and especially as protracted an ordeal as I made it into.

That's all.

 

[Dove]

There wasn't an ugly ending or anything like that.
We even stayed in touch for a while, off and on.
It actually might have been better for me if there'd been a clean break; there were a lot of lingering hopes and imaginary scenarios and that kind of junk that only kept my wounds open and fresh for waaay longer than they should have been.

I suppose the pain I mentioned was in large part a cumulative effect caused by not fully letting go for so long and that was part of what I called my malfunction. First it was ignoring some what should have been pretty obvious signs that we wouldn't be a long-term thing and then the sheer amount of time it took me to finally internalize how ridiculous I was being.

And I said I put myself *through all that* for no good reason.
Because we didn't click in the ways that people who will be together for a long time will click and the break-up shouldn't have been as big a deal and especially as protracted an ordeal as I made it into.

That's all.

Do you think you would have felt different if you did click in a way where you knew she was someone you would be compatible with for the long haul?

AND if you stayed in touch but had absolutely no "lingering hope" ...well just any regular hope....due to pretty unmovable circumstances? You just really enjoyed their company?

I can definately relate to self torture for no good reason. You are in good company there for sure lol.

 

[Garraty_47]

Do you think you would have felt different if you did click in a way where you knew she was someone you would be compatible with for the long haul?

That was the fucked up part though... I had convinced myself (or simply ignored everything pointing away from the conclusion I preferred) that we were a good match, or could be. A lot of it was a delusion of my own making.

AND if you stayed in touch but had absolutely no "lingering hope" ...well just any regular hope....due to pretty unmovable circumstances? You just really enjoyed their company?

For my part I stayed in touch because I was happy to have her in my life in any way and if it couldn't be as a couple I'd be a friend as long as she wanted one. As far as I know I was the only one with "lingering hopes" and staying in touch only allowed them to linger well past their healthy lifespan.

I'm not sorry I got to feel some of those emotions; I only wish I'd been just a *little* bit smarter about the whole thing and avoided the worst of the horrible self-inflicted bits.

/shrug

 

[Dove]

That was the fucked up part though... I had convinced myself (or simply ignored everything pointing away from the conclusion I preferred) that we were a good match, or could be. A lot of it was a delusion of my own making.



For my part I stayed in touch because I was happy to have her in my life in any way and if it couldn't be as a couple I'd be a friend as long as she wanted one. As far as I know I was the only one with "lingering hopes" and staying in touch only allowed them to linger well past their healthy lifespan.

I'm not sorry I got to feel some of those emotions; I only wish I'd been just a *little* bit smarter about the whole thing and avoided the worst of the horrible self-inflicted bits.

/shrug

I'm sure everyone wishes they had been a little smarter when confronted with all those feels.

I dont know how some people can just feel that with every new person they talk to. It would be exhausting and it really kinda takes away from the value of it. Imo.

I've been "taken" more than single but all that is a rarity for me. And I really like that about myself.

 

[Lily]

It happens to me here and there. In a mild form. LOL

Lay terms for limerence: romantic love, crazy love, lovesick, mad love, amour fort.

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Oh yeah, I had that for about 3 years from the age of 18-21 and never that bad since.

 

[LotusBud]

For me it's the pain.
I don't ever want to feel that soul-deep lingering agony ever again, especially when a clearer head now understands that we weren't really all that compatible anyway.

I went through all that shit for essentially no good reason at all.
And it's not that I blame her or anything of the kind... I did it to myself.

Yeah. Me either. I had it bad once. For 2 years. It was really awful.

 

[Dove]

Like you "had it" for 2...3 years, and what just woke up one morning cured? Sanity restored?

 

[Dove]

I feel you lol.

It's like a retarded demon possesses you lol.

And thank GOD it was only once because it's fun and all but it's very disabling.

I like to be the smooth one with the emotional control lol

I was younger and pretty naive myself so...yeah.

And since I posted this, I am now a year deep in a relationship with exactly the man i was talking about in this thread and it's still retarded and disabling lol. Turns out I moved the unmovable circumstances.

Lord help me. Or dont....no one help me. I like it.