Relations between men and women can be complicated.

Oerdin

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Wife: Please buy soap at the store. We are almost out.

Me: No problem. I go to the store, I see fancy soap for $5 a bar, I see basic soap for two bars for $1. I buy the cheaper soap.

Wife: This soap is not any good. I wanted soap with moisturizing lotion and a fresh floral scent.

Me: You said buy soap so I bought soap. You didn't say anything about moisturizing lotion or smelling like flowers.

Wife: I thought you would have already known.

Me: Known about what you didn't say? You said buy soap so I bought soap.

Wife: You should have known what I really wanted.

Me: If you don't bother to say it then I will just buy regular soap. Besides you already have five body lotions and loads of different perfumes.

Wife: Eyes of death while saying "grrrr".
 
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Oerdin

Oerdin

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Oh, and for you single men, forget about it. The moment you say I do blow jobs become a thing of the past. Most of them only do that when they are trying to land a man and get him to commit.
 

Lokmar

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Oh, and for you single men, forget about it. The moment you say I do blow jobs become a thing of the past. Most of them only do that when they are trying to land a man and get him to commit.
That was true with my ex. I scored a home run with her replacement!!!!
 
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Oerdin

Oerdin

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To be fair, you should at least recognize WTF soap is in the house. I know Orange colored Dawn Dish Soap is what we buy.

I can totally understand what you are saying. That said, my requirements for soap is that it gets me clean. I want to wash my armpits, butt hole, and nut sack with it and expect everything to rinse clean after a good rinsing. If I want lotion then I will apply body lotion after I dry off. Don't even get me started on perfumes.
 

Lokmar

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To be fair, you should at least recognize WTF soap is in the house. I know Orange colored Dawn Dish Soap is what we buy.

I can totally understand what you are saying. That said, my requirements for soap is that it gets me clean. I want to wash my armpits, butt hole, and nut sack with it and expect everything to rinse clean after a good rinsing. If I want lotion then I will apply body lotion after I dry off. Don't even get me started on perfumes.
OHHHHH, IC. You're talking about body wash. Yea, your wife should have been specific on that one. Thats her bad.
 
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Oerdin

Oerdin

Factory Bastard
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17,696
Oh, and for you single men, forget about it. The moment you say I do blow jobs become a thing of the past. Most of them only do that when they are trying to land a man and get him to commit.
That was true with my ex. I scored a home run with her replacement!!!!

You won the lotto, mother fucker.
 

Lokmar

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Wife: Please buy soap at the store. We are almost out.

Me: No problem. I go to the store, I see fancy soap for $5 a bar, I see basic soap for two bars for $1. I buy the cheaper soap.

Wife: This soap is not any good. I wanted soap with moisturizing lotion and a fresh floral scent.

Me: You said buy soap so I bought soap. You didn't say anything about moisturizing lotion or smelling like flowers.

Wife: I thought you would have already known.

Me: Known about what you didn't say? You said buy soap so I bought soap.

Wife: You should have known what I really wanted.

Me: If you don't bother to say it then I will just buy regular soap. Besides you already have five body lotions and loads of different perfumes.

Wife: Eyes of death while saying "grrrr".
Oh, and for you single men, forget about it. The moment you say I do blow jobs become a thing of the past. Most of them only do that when they are trying to land a man and get him to commit.
That was true with my ex. I scored a home run with her replacement!!!!

You won the lotto, mother fucker.
I did!!! I sort of think its because I deserve it after what I had before then I remember I was literally on my knees praying to God for what I have now.....crying at times.
 

RANCIDMILKO ™ ®©

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Now in Brazoo, if you date a chick with kids and these kids get attached to you and you break up, you have to pay some sort of "emotional support" crap if she decides you hae to

It can be anything, money to take the kids to therapy or simply a vacation on the beach, so they can stay away from home and forget about about that terrible, TERRIBLE man that dated their mom.
 

Admin.

The Flying Fickle Finger Of Fate.
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To be fair, you should at least recognize WTF soap is in the house. I know Orange colored Dawn Dish Soap is what we buy.

I can totally understand what you are saying. That said, my requirements for soap is that it gets me clean. I want to wash my armpits, butt hole, and nut sack with it and expect everything to rinse clean after a good rinsing. If I want lotion then I will apply body lotion after I dry off. Don't even get me started on perfumes.
It wouldn't hurt you, or diminish your maleness, if you were more in tune with your loved ones preference, it's not all about you. Even our resident neanderthal Lokmar knows that.
 

Lokmar

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To be fair, you should at least recognize WTF soap is in the house. I know Orange colored Dawn Dish Soap is what we buy.

I can totally understand what you are saying. That said, my requirements for soap is that it gets me clean. I want to wash my armpits, butt hole, and nut sack with it and expect everything to rinse clean after a good rinsing. If I want lotion then I will apply body lotion after I dry off. Don't even get me started on perfumes.
It wouldn't hurt you, or diminish your maleness, if you were more in tune with your loved ones preference, it's not all about you. Even our resident neanderthal Lokmar knows that.
Thats because I'm married to a woman who knows how to keep a man.
 

RANCIDMILKO ™ ®©

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I'm with Oerdin here, soap is something very specific, his wife could at least have asked if he knew what kind to get

She should know he doesn't pay attention to basic items inside their household

LULZ
 
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Murdy

Queenie Weenie
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La La Land
To be fair, you should at least recognize WTF soap is in the house. I know Orange colored Dawn Dish Soap is what we buy.

I can totally understand what you are saying. That said, my requirements for soap is that it gets me clean. I want to wash my armpits, butt hole, and nut sack with it and expect everything to rinse clean after a good rinsing. If I want lotion then I will apply body lotion after I dry off. Don't even get me started on perfumes.
It wouldn't hurt you, or diminish your maleness, if you were more in tune with your loved ones preference, it's not all about you. Even our resident neanderthal Lokmar knows that.
Thats because I'm married to a woman who knows how to keep a man.

it sounds like you found someone with a matching sex drive… but it’s also extremely intimate and some women are not sexual or they think it’s dirty…

we both reciprocate that level of intimacy regularly
 

Lokmar

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20,654
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To be fair, you should at least recognize WTF soap is in the house. I know Orange colored Dawn Dish Soap is what we buy.

I can totally understand what you are saying. That said, my requirements for soap is that it gets me clean. I want to wash my armpits, butt hole, and nut sack with it and expect everything to rinse clean after a good rinsing. If I want lotion then I will apply body lotion after I dry off. Don't even get me started on perfumes.
It wouldn't hurt you, or diminish your maleness, if you were more in tune with your loved ones preference, it's not all about you. Even our resident neanderthal Lokmar knows that.
Thats because I'm married to a woman who knows how to keep a man.

it sounds like you found someone with a matching sex drive… but it’s also extremely intimate and some women are not sexual or they think it’s dirty…

we both reciprocate that level of intimacy regularly
So its Cinko De Drinko and I'm a bit hammered so you know this is gonna be honest AF.....

I love my wife. I respect my wife. She never challenges my manhood, ever. I cant explain it, but she's not a doormat in any way either. Its weird because I cant explain it or put my finger on it. She's suggestive.....and even if I dont listen immediately out of obstinance, I eventually relent out of love. She's a fukin mastermind!! A lot of women feel the need to assert themselves. To dominate their man. I'll fukin fight anyone but dont feel the need to fight her because she isnt trying to fight me. I'd right now fight my ex to the death and shit on her dead face. I think my wife is disarming? I'm not sure. If any of my kids treated her like shit (other than my daughter) I'd likely punch the fuk outta them. I'd have to tell my daughter to STFU. She ( my wife) doesnt get in the way of me being a man. I adore her and treat her like a queen. She's suggestive. She doesnt demand things. It compels me to do her bidding. Its like she's a level 1000 manipulator without even trying. Makes me think of that parasite wasp.... She's gentile. She doesnt bitch and moan. I view her as better than me, smarter than me, but not in a threatening way. If and when I get agitated, she doesnt engage. She's disarming. The physical stuff is necessary but not the lynchpin. She's brilliant but not arrogant. I'd fukin kill a motherfucker that harmed her. I know it would be a blind rage. Hell, #3 got disrespectful with her when he was 7 or so and I snatched his ass up by the jaw, damn near lifted him off the ground, and said some shit, more like sprayed some words at him, that caused him to never do that shit again. He's 6'3" and still doesnt get stupid with his mom. The kids know I'm crazy AF when it comes to her.

My ex AND her mom always attempted to mount me. Bitches always tried to dominate me. I straight up threatened to beat the fuck outta BOTH of them at the same time before. I'm not afraid to hit a woman or anyone for that matter. Women need to understand, men need to be men and trying to socially castrate them, dominate them, especially a man like me, is likely to get em kicked in the cunt. I cant think of a single time I relented to them two cunts....ever. At my daughters wedding, I just about had to fight them both.... IN THE CHURCH!!!!! They didnt win either. It pissed them off more than you can imagine. Men and their egos get inflamed by direct confrontation and especially by disrespect. I'm not having it. I've told my daughter, NEVER undermine her husbands authority.....also NEVER tolerate abuse...demand that he adore you!

My ex and her mom are the two biggest stupid assed bitches on the planet as far as I'm concerned. My wife is playing chess while these two stupid cunts are playing checkers....badly.
 

Joe

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11,162
My ex and her mom are the two biggest stupid assed bitches on the planet as far as I'm concerned. My wife is playing chess while these two stupid cunts are playing checkers....badly.

Didja punch out yer EX & her Mom @Lokmar?

Musta been a Lotta blood on the floor ta mop up, eh? Hope there weren't too many teeth lyin on the ground ta pick up.
 
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Dove

Domestically feral
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United states
To be fair, you should at least recognize WTF soap is in the house. I know Orange colored Dawn Dish Soap is what we buy.

I can totally understand what you are saying. That said, my requirements for soap is that it gets me clean. I want to wash my armpits, butt hole, and nut sack with it and expect everything to rinse clean after a good rinsing. If I want lotion then I will apply body lotion after I dry off. Don't even get me started on perfumes.
It wouldn't hurt you, or diminish your maleness, if you were more in tune with your loved ones preference, it's not all about you. Even our resident neanderthal Lokmar knows that.
Thats because I'm married to a woman who knows how to keep a man.

it sounds like you found someone with a matching sex drive… but it’s also extremely intimate and some women are not sexual or they think it’s dirty…

we both reciprocate that level of intimacy regularly
So its Cinko De Drinko and I'm a bit hammered so you know this is gonna be honest AF.....

I love my wife. I respect my wife. She never challenges my manhood, ever. I cant explain it, but she's not a doormat in any way either. Its weird because I cant explain it or put my finger on it. She's suggestive.....and even if I dont listen immediately out of obstinance, I eventually relent out of love. She's a fukin mastermind!! A lot of women feel the need to assert themselves. To dominate their man. I'll fukin fight anyone but dont feel the need to fight her because she isnt trying to fight me. I'd right now fight my ex to the death and shit on her dead face. I think my wife is disarming? I'm not sure. If any of my kids treated her like shit (other than my daughter) I'd likely punch the fuk outta them. I'd have to tell my daughter to STFU. She ( my wife) doesnt get in the way of me being a man. I adore her and treat her like a queen. She's suggestive. She doesnt demand things. It compels me to do her bidding. Its like she's a level 1000 manipulator without even trying. Makes me think of that parasite wasp.... She's gentile. She doesnt bitch and moan. I view her as better than me, smarter than me, but not in a threatening way. If and when I get agitated, she doesnt engage. She's disarming. The physical stuff is necessary but not the lynchpin. She's brilliant but not arrogant. I'd fukin kill a motherfucker that harmed her. I know it would be a blind rage. Hell, #3 got disrespectful with her when he was 7 or so and I snatched his ass up by the jaw, damn near lifted him off the ground, and said some shit, more like sprayed some words at him, that caused him to never do that shit again. He's 6'3" and still doesnt get stupid with his mom. The kids know I'm crazy AF when it comes to her.

My ex AND her mom always attempted to mount me. Bitches always tried to dominate me. I straight up threatened to beat the fuck outta BOTH of them at the same time before. I'm not afraid to hit a woman or anyone for that matter. Women need to understand, men need to be men and trying to socially castrate them, dominate them, especially a man like me, is likely to get em kicked in the cunt. I cant think of a single time I relented to them two cunts....ever. At my daughters wedding, I just about had to fight them both.... IN THE CHURCH!!!!! They didnt win either. It pissed them off more than you can imagine. Men and their egos get inflamed by direct confrontation and especially by disrespect. I'm not having it. I've told my daughter, NEVER undermine her husbands authority.....also NEVER tolerate abuse...demand that he adore you!

My ex and her mom are the two biggest stupid assed bitches on the planet as far as I'm concerned. My wife is playing chess while these two stupid cunts are playing checkers....badly.

The secret is, you cant "try" to dominate men. If you need to "try".....forget it. You are just a loud and masculine shrew.

You just dominate them naturally. Men WANT women that know what's best. You need to let them have their general authority and if that's respected than there is no need to "try" to dominate anyone.

Disarming is the way to be. The last time my husband had a spazz out, I just sat there until he was done throwing a fit and i said "whose my creampuff" and that pretty much ended his bitch fest lol.
 

Dove

Domestically feral
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My ex and her mom are the two biggest stupid assed bitches on the planet as far as I'm concerned. My wife is playing chess while these two stupid cunts are playing checkers....badly.

Didja punch out yer EX & her Mom @Lokmar?

Musta been a Lotta blood on the floor ta mop up, eh? Hope there weren't too many teeth lyin on the ground ta pick up.

You think Lok is bad....I legit stabbed my ex in his stupid forearm with a dinner fork.

I dont feel bad about it either. I'm not proud of it. I'm not usually a violent person. But....I don't feel bad.

He did fine mopping up his own stupid blood.
 

Joe

Factory Bastard
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Messages
11,162
My ex and her mom are the two biggest stupid assed bitches on the planet as far as I'm concerned. My wife is playing chess while these two stupid cunts are playing checkers....badly.

Didja punch out yer EX & her Mom @Lokmar?

Musta been a Lotta blood on the floor ta mop up, eh? Hope there weren't too many teeth lyin on the ground ta pick up.

You think Lok is bad....I legit stabbed my ex in his stupid forearm with a dinner fork.

I dont feel bad about it either. I'm not proud of it. I'm not usually a violent person. But....I don't feel bad.

He did fine mopping up his own stupid blood.

Relax @Dove I'm joking with guy.

I figgered he was just talking metaphorically.

Seems you weren't tho.
 

Dove

Domestically feral
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46,207
Location
United states
My ex and her mom are the two biggest stupid assed bitches on the planet as far as I'm concerned. My wife is playing chess while these two stupid cunts are playing checkers....badly.

Didja punch out yer EX & her Mom @Lokmar?

Musta been a Lotta blood on the floor ta mop up, eh? Hope there weren't too many teeth lyin on the ground ta pick up.

You think Lok is bad....I legit stabbed my ex in his stupid forearm with a dinner fork.

I dont feel bad about it either. I'm not proud of it. I'm not usually a violent person. But....I don't feel bad.

He did fine mopping up his own stupid blood.

Relax @Dove I'm joking with guy.

I figgered he was just talking metaphorically.

Seems you weren't tho.

Nope!

I also had his parents house swatted and had him involuntarily admitted into a 72 hour psyche observation hold.

Good times. I'm gonna have to see him next month for our daughters high school graduation.
 

Frood

Have kink will travel.
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My youngest is territorial with the soap bar at the bath tub. If it changes the slightest position, she accuses me of using HER soap.

Half the time she gets out of the bath and I ask her did she soap "pits and bits", and she has to get back in.
 

Dove

Domestically feral
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My youngest is territorial with the soap bar at the bath tub. If it changes the slightest position, she accuses me of using HER soap.

Half the time she gets out of the bath and I ask her did she soap "pits and bits", and she has to get back in.

Last year Squish walked up to me and asked in her sweet "mommy can I" voice..."Mom, can i have a "whore bath"?" and I just busted out laughing. I asked her what she thought that meant and she said "I dont know but grandma said she was gonna take one, can I have one too?" :LOL3:

I didnt really know what to do, so I just told her what it was (though I didnt tell her WHY washing the pits and bits was called a whore bath....i just told her it's a bad word and not to say it lol)

I had to have a talk with my mother about that one lol.