Ruin A Date In One Sentence

[chew the fat]

I've been chatting to a girl I went to high school with on Facebook for well over 6 months ...

No signals yet if I'm the friend zone or is there more to it ...

So going on a date hasn't come up yet ...

 

[realgrimm]

Let's have a threesome , you , me and our lord Jesus Hector Christ

 

[realgrimm]

And don't worry bout my brother,he likes to watch from the darkness and while you sleep he'll lick your feet clean

 

[chew the fat]

Let's have a threesome , you , me and our lord Jesus Hector Christ

She's a lawyer ...

 

[realgrimm]

She's a lawyer ...

See you in court.. hehe

 

[realgrimm]

I hope you don't mind I brought my meat bucket, it's for later when I regurgitate this great meal and eat it again

 

[Breakfall]

Shall we go Dutch?
I can smell that you don’t floss.
I took a piss in your toilet and I saw smidmarks that weren’t mine!
You aren’t going to try steal my sperm are you?
I can smell that you’re ovulating…I might Chuck on a frangger!
I hope you haven’t taken a shit recently…I want to give you decent head!

 

[Murdy]

“Sorry in advance, my dick is small” ~ Piggie Smells

 

[X]

Uhhhh, mah names BREAKFALL, I'd like to sniffff your panties

 

[Alticus]

Man, did I ever have the shits last night!

 

[RANCIDMILKO ™ ®©]

"Hi, nice meeting you too. Listen, i know we just met, but can I borrow 50 bucks? Need to pay for the cab."

 

[chew the fat]

Take her to McDonald's for some chicken nuggets and then take her out to the playground for some funny business ...

 

[Swamp-Duck]

Just popping to the ladies, my colostomy bag is leaking.

 

[Alticus]

I'm Luka Magnotta, nice to finally meet you in person.