- Messages
- 1,078
- Location
- Georgetown
I'm Erin, this is how my date with Sir Super Southern went.
SSS, you look kinda psycho but your Hellraiser box is neat
I read your dating ad and would really like to meet
Your voice sounds like Donald Duck on the telephone
But I think you have a lot to offer so I am driving to your home.
You greet me at the door, eyes blood shot and red
You look like a serial killer, I hope I don't wind up dead
As I step through the door, you smell my hair
I am kinda creeped out but act like I don't care
We break open a pouch of cheap ass wine
You show me your fan boy Hellraiser shrine
This party is getting started, we are having a great time
Now I want to tell you a secret, don't get mad
Your breath smells like a rats's ass, it's just that dam bad
The Axe body spray you wear is a horrible scent
And why does your head appear to have a dent?
Sir Southern stares into space like he just farted
So I rip off his clothes and get the party started
you look kinda nervous and I take things real slow
I sprinkle gun powder on your ass and snort it like blow
Dealing with your genitals is going to be a difficult task
I put on chain mail gloves and wear a plague mask
Grabbing your balls, my hand feels so empty
I begin searching for a penis that I can't see
I rip out some pubes, hoping to make it appear
After two hours of searching I give up and ask for a beer.
No more talking, let's give this date another chance
I just wanna know, would you like to dance?
So I sway in place, you stumble like a drunken cow
I pull you in close and whisper, "I'll be killing you now."
Sir Southern steps back and out come my blades
Letting me in was the biggest mistake he ever made
You let your guard down, hoping for a quick fuck
Led by your basic instincts, now you're shit out of luck
Going to stab you in the balls then pick up the pace
Hop around like a psycho, let your blood decorate my face
I also slashed that neighbor who was coming in your yard
He was no fun, but killing you is making my nipples hard
Sir Southern begins to sweat and his knees go weak
He crumples like a rag doll and lays at my feet
Hoping for a delay, SSS begins to pray
I sharpen my knife and say "It's time to play"
Close your eyes, this is really going to hurt
Lots of knife stabs, some jugular vein spurt
SSS looks at me like this is all a bad dream
I flash a cute grin and begin to make him scream
A downward slice and it's off with Sir Southern's dick
Not a loss because he never could satisfy a women with it
He's gushing blood from his gaping crotch hole
I take a little break and flush his cock down the toilet bowl
Then it's a slice across the throat and that's all she wrote
There is so much blood, I don't let it go to waste
I slowly lick Sir Southern's face and give it a taste
The sweetness on my tongue leaves me beaming
It’s like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming
Sir Southern slumps and his face grows real pale
I just killed another self proclaimed alpha male
Now to clean up and remove my DNA from his nails
Hope he enjoyed the date, it's time to make my escape
But I hear sounds in the hall, something is coming my way
Paws clicking on the floor, tails beginning to sway
Beautiful poodles, here you are in my arms to stay
Bandana wearing poodles, they want to lick my face all day
The poodles are beautiful just the way they are
They chase away my demons and heal all my scars
I did not know SSS had such lovely little pets
Now I feel something I have never felt before, regret
Things are really grim, maybe I should not have killed him
I decide that my only choice is to take care of them
I gently wrap SSS in plastic sheets and we all head to the car
The poodles have their heads out the window and I feel like a star
I stop at a strip mall and hide Sir Southern's body inside
a Chuck E Cheese ball crawl where it's discovered the next day
when I and the poodles are far, far away.
Erin
-Psychopathic, don't be so dramatic. We had magic that turned tragic.
