The youngest is upset at me because I keep talking about taking a shit on his cat.

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He is mostly a good cat but he has some bad habits. Around 5am each morning he wakes up, is hungry (despite there being a full bowl of cat food, mind you, but he wants fresh food and not old food from the night before). So he has learned that if he starts scratching then people will wake up even if to tell him no. So he will scratch the side of the bed, he will scratch the carpet, peoplr will wake up to tell him no as he is meowing all the time,, he will do what ever it takes to get what ever he wants. Namely, fresh canned food mixed with meow mix.

Now, I dislike being woken up at 5am so I will shout telling the kitty to stop. This will work for five minutes then the cat will start scratching shit again so I will threaten the cat that if I catch him I will take a giant shit on top of his head. The youngest heard this and now he is indignate that I am some how abusing his pet cat.

Darn it, boy, if I actually took a shit upon your cat then you would know it. He would especially know it.
 
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Oerdin
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Cats really are imperious little bastards. It is almost like they are saying "Human! You shall do as I commanf!"
 
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I used to be able to pawn this off on my wife but she has, most strategically, decided not to wake up for the cat's antics. This has left just me. :(
 

Adam Hitler

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This thread needs @Dove and her expertise in the field of kitteh ownership.

I've had cats in the past and they were barely any trouble, the only issue was emptying the litter tray because they were house cats. I wish I'd realised back then that feeding them dry food rather than pouches would have drastically reduced the toxic waste the lil buggers shat out Lol.
 
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Oerdin
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Maybe I can hit him with a spare pillow. That shouldn't hurt the little kitty kitties but it might scare the shit out of him.
 
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Then he scratch at the door. He will also reach under the door to claw the carpet.
 

Swamp-Duck

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Like people cats are all different, I’ve been feeding my cat her biggest meal of the day just before I go to bed, she’s quiet all night and don’t wake up so early and sit on my head, the downside is the big cowpat first thing in the morning...
 

Breakfall

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He is mostly a good cat but he has some bad habits. Around 5am each morning he wakes up, is hungry (despite there being a full bowl of cat food, mind you, but he wants fresh food and not old food from the night before). So he has learned that if he starts scratching then people will wake up even if to tell him no. So he will scratch the side of the bed, he will scratch the carpet, peoplr will wake up to tell him no as he is meowing all the time,, he will do what ever it takes to get what ever he wants. Namely, fresh canned food mixed with meow mix.

Now, I dislike being woken up at 5am so I will shout telling the kitty to stop. This will work for five minutes then the cat will start scratching shit again so I will threaten the cat that if I catch him I will take a giant shit on top of his head. The youngest heard this and now he is indignate that I am some how abusing his pet cat.

Darn it, boy, if I actually took a shit upon your cat then you would know it. He would especially know it.
This happens with one of mine too. Every morning from 4am to 5am like clockwork. I’ve been using a spray bottle with water to squirt him quiet. Another tactic is to lock them in the laundry.
 

Swamp-Duck

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Mine is better for all that now, the only thing is I can’t have my foot out of the covers, fangs sink into your big toe, she just can’t resist it...
 

LotusBud

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He is mostly a good cat but he has some bad habits. Around 5am each morning he wakes up, is hungry (despite there being a full bowl of cat food, mind you, but he wants fresh food and not old food from the night before). So he has learned that if he starts scratching then people will wake up even if to tell him no. So he will scratch the side of the bed, he will scratch the carpet, peoplr will wake up to tell him no as he is meowing all the time,, he will do what ever it takes to get what ever he wants. Namely, fresh canned food mixed with meow mix.

Now, I dislike being woken up at 5am so I will shout telling the kitty to stop. This will work for five minutes then the cat will start scratching shit again so I will threaten the cat that if I catch him I will take a giant shit on top of his head. The youngest heard this and now he is indignate that I am some how abusing his pet cat.

Darn it, boy, if I actually took a shit upon your cat then you would know it. He would especially know it.

You sound like a real cat whisperer. You should market that shit.
 
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The cat loves me and loves to coddle. That said he can be a real shit as he has learned scratching things wakes people up at oh dark thirty and that is a problem.
 

Blazor

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He is mostly a good cat but he has some bad habits. Around 5am each morning he wakes up, is hungry (despite there being a full bowl of cat food, mind you, but he wants fresh food and not old food from the night before). So he has learned that if he starts scratching then people will wake up even if to tell him no. So he will scratch the side of the bed, he will scratch the carpet, peoplr will wake up to tell him no as he is meowing all the time,, he will do what ever it takes to get what ever he wants. Namely, fresh canned food mixed with meow mix.

Now, I dislike being woken up at 5am so I will shout telling the kitty to stop. This will work for five minutes then the cat will start scratching shit again so I will threaten the cat that if I catch him I will take a giant shit on top of his head. The youngest heard this and now he is indignate that I am some how abusing his pet cat.

Darn it, boy, if I actually took a shit upon your cat then you would know it. He would especially know it.

You sound like a real cat whisperer. You should market that shit.

Hahaha, I've been called a cat whisperer multiple times lol.
 
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My experience is that if you slap that cat the moment he starts bothering you, it'll stop.

I don't slape the little fucker, not that he doesn't deserve it, but I have gotten a water spray bottle and I am not afraid to use it. You'd be amazed how much kitty doesn't want to get sprayed with water. It is his kreptonite. He will stand tall and pretend to be a good kitty if only no one sprays him with that evil, nasty water.
 
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Like people cats are all different, I’ve been feeding my cat her biggest meal of the day just before I go to bed, she’s quiet all night and don’t wake up so early and sit on my head, the downside is the big cowpat first thing in the morning...

The cat will lay on my wife's head just to make sure she does not wake up without kitty noticing. Me? I don't care about this shit. I consider it her problem and kitty certainly loves, loves, loves the food lady. It is wrong to say but I secretly hope kitty bothers her so I get to sleep in.
 

Frood

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I pissed on my cat when she used to misbehave.

...out of the blue/no warning/from her blindspot.

She really hated it.