Things Keanu Reeves did not actually say

LotusBud

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Pain changes shape, but it never disappears. You can't control what hurts or breaks you, but you can control how you choose to move forward. Fight for what you love, because no one else will do it for you. Every moment in your life is an opportunity to change who you are. Don't define yourself by what you lost, but by what you do with what's left.

Just sayin'.
 

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Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?

He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
 

Edgar Friendly

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"No, no, no... I can't die like this... Not when I'm so close... And not at the hands of a filthy bandit! I could have saved this planet; I could have actually restored order! And I wasn't supposed to die... by the hands of a CHILD KILLING PSYCHOPATH!! You're... a savage! You're... a maniac! You are a bandit, AND I AM THE GODDAMN HERO!!" -Joel Osteen (to Willie Nelson)
 

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Grown-ups love figures… When you tell them you’ve made a new friend they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies? “ Instead they demand ‘How old is he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?’ Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.
 

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And when I was at Findhorn I met this extraordinary English tree expert who had devoted himself to saving trees, and he’d just got back from Washington lobbying to save the Redwoods. And he was eighty-four years old, and he always travels with a backpack because he never knows where he’s going to be tomorrow. And when I met him at Findhorn he said to me, “Where are you from?” And I said, “New York.” And he said, “Ah, New York, yes, that’s a very interesting place. Do you know a lot of New Yorkers who keep talking about the fact that they want to leave, but never do?” And I said, “Oh, yes.” And he said, “Why do you think they don’t leave?” And I gave him different banal theories. And he said, “Oh, I don’t think it’s that way at all.” He said, “I think that New York is the new model for the new concentration camp, where the camp has been built by the inmates themselves, and the inmates are the guards, and they have this pride in this thing that they’ve built—they’ve built their own prison—and so they exist in a state of schizophrenia where they are both guards and prisoners. And as a result they no longer have—having been lobotomized—the capacity to leave the prison they’ve made or even to see it as a prison.” And then he went into his pocket, and he took out a seed for a tree, and he said, “This is a pine tree.” And he put it in my hand. And he said, “Escape before it’s too late.”
 
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LotusBud

LotusBud

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Oh, did the word "fuck" concern you?


How is this for the overly-sensitive?



@LotusBud , why do you believe this is an interesting topic?
I find it to be terribly amusing. people quote Keanu on the innernets all the time, and most of the time he never said that shit. Sorry you have no sense of humor.
 

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another of their acquaintances finds himself mesmerised by the way that he 'always had something of ... rivetting stupidity to say on any subject'.
 

jack

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You mean retarded fuckwits?

This is the only place I read posts by retarded fuckwits.

You can quote me on that.
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"Maybe that's what life is... a wink of the eye and winking stars", "I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion", "My witness is the empty sky", "Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?", and "Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion".
 

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“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
up smoking in the supernatural darkness of
cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities
contemplating jazz,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and
saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes
hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy
among the scholars of war, ”
 

Edgar Friendly

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“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
up smoking in the supernatural darkness of
cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities
contemplating jazz,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and
saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes
hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy
among the scholars of war, ”
...Ozzy Osbourne!" -Matthew Lillard (as 'Emmanuel Goldstein', AKA 'Cereal Killer', Hackers, 1995)
 

Edgar Friendly

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"Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973, but your average voter is as drunk and stupid as ever. The only one who's changed is me. I've become bitter, and let's face it, CRAZY over the years! And once I'm swept into office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoos for meat. And I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place! Muhuhahahaha!" -Al Gore