What is a mock nobody?

Holliday 3000 said:
I'm not a believer in single life existence or Darwinian evolution, or that this is the only planet that we might make our home in a vastly long process.
Click to expand...

Evolution isn't debatable on any serious level.

images


Just because it happens over periods of time that are difficult for us to wrap our smooth monkey brains around doesn't mean it isn't happening.
 
Garraty_47 said:
Evolution isn't debatable on any serious level.

images


Just because it happens over periods of time that are difficult for us to wrap our smooth monkey brains around doesn't mean it isn't happening.
Click to expand...
Oh certainly, what I meant was that our personal evolution happens over those vast periods, and maybe you were a dog....before a human.
 
Holliday 3000 said:
Golly, I'm beginning to wish I have never popularized the word mock on this here site.
Click to expand...

Oh it's always been popular.
It may not have phrased *exactly* like that, but mocking stuff is what Meltdown is made of.

Well, mockery and the contents of X's drool cup but the less said about that the better.
 
Garraty_47 said:
Don't go getting fussy on me now.

Breaking the fourth wall can work but it's generally done with a wink, or a nod, or a pithy quip. Suddenly dragging the camera behind the set and demanding an explanation for why the props are only painted on one side isn't parody; it's obliterating the suspension of disbelief simply for the sake of obliteration.

We can't expect the audience to stay invested if the romcom suddenly becomes a serious docudrama about the making of the romcom unless that's what the audience wants and signed up for.

That's all I'm saying.

Our little game is difficult enough given most of the, um, 'talent' we have to work with. Why should we make it even harder on ourselves by asking them to recite an Attenborough monologue in the middle of a 3-Stooges skit that is itself barely within their artistic range?

That's just asking for trouble.
Click to expand...

If the Three Stooges suddenly stop mid-eye poke so David Attenborough can whisper,

"Here we observe the common forum poster, startled by a fact, instinctively responding with three pages of semantic gymnastics..."

...I'd probably keep watching just to see where it goes.

The trick isn't breaking the fourth wall—it's remembering to rebuild it before the audience wanders off looking for the snack bar.
 
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Garraty_47 said:
Stoopidest. Subforum. Tagline. Ever.

Define "victory", much less "absolute victory"?
Who declares the victor? Using what criteria?
Will there be prizes? What are they?

What constitutes a "fight", much less a "fighting method"?
Define "despicable", much less "most despicable"?
According to whom -the dictionary; Wikipedia; some rando on the interwurb?

Why "fight" in the first place?

...

The tagline for this sub has exactly fuckall to do with the content of the sub and, for as long I've been here, always had exactly fuckall to do with the content of the sub. If it's a vestigial remnant of some bygone era there's literally no good reason to keep it; supposing it *did* at one time have relevance most of the people here now weren't around then and aren't going to get sentimental about a nonsensical tagline that's pretty much universally ignored.

If I were king of BF for a day that's the first thing I'd fix.
Click to expand...

I think you're being a little harsh on our in love 3 goat dowry bride to be-Fredricka.

Garraty, if you became King of BF for a day, we'd all wake up to a constitution that begins with,

"Article I: The tagline shall accurately reflect the contents."

*By lunch you'd have convened the Royal Committee for the Elimination of Mildly Misleading Text.

*By dinner we'd have a 47-page white paper titled "On the Societal Cost of Slightly Inaccurate Subtitles."

Meanwhile, the rest of us are still trying to remember what the tagline even says.

It's the internet equivalent of that mysterious button in an elevator nobody's pressed since 2009. It just sits there, quietly minding its own business, while you arrive wearing OSHA-approved safety goggles yelling,

"THIS THING VIOLATES THE NATURAL ORDER!"

I almost admire the dedication. Most people ignore harmless relics. You look at them like they're unsolved cold cases.
 
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X said:
A

Awww look how you went and got all mad because we can see you do fuck all but hold up the roof around here HA HA HA HA HA get a life loser
Click to expand...
Save it x, im off up the pub. I'll try to remember you toiling away in the hot sun while I'm supping a nice cold cider. Here's hoping you have difficult customers who underpay you . Dont think I didn't notice your stutter there either :GiggleBitch:
 
Flynn said:
I think you're being a little harsh on our in love 3 goat dowry bride to be-Fredricka.
Click to expand...

It's about time *someone* was harsh to her.
The only contributors I've seen trying are jack and X who even collaboratively couldn't roast their way out of a naphtha-soaked paper bag if you handed them a packet of flares, a book of matches, and an acetylene torch.

Cookie lets her off easy, as does everyone else who gives her the occasional pat on the head. Then there's Holli and ...well... 'nuff said there really.

She's a mod at Bastard Factory who hangs around in Meltdown. Having people (or at least someone) be "a little harsh" at her definitely ought to be right there in the fucking job description or *we* are the ones who are failing at making it necessary to add that clause in the first place.

Flynn said:
Garraty, if you became King of BF for a day, we'd all wake up to a constitution that begins with,

"Article I: The tagline shall accurately reflect the contents."
Click to expand...

Completely wrong.
What you'd wake to is a new tagline for Meltdown.
No explanation; no apology; no regrets.

That's what being King means:
Doing what the fuck you think is needed without asking permission or tasking a committee or polling the peasants.

Oh- and if you want a constitution write one up yourself. King Garraty will give it the somber consideration it's due and then toss it into the bin next to Meltdown's old useless tagline.

Flynn said:
*By lunch you'd have convened the Royal Committee for the Elimination of Mildly Misleading Text.
Click to expand...

Hmm.
This one actually has potential, but not in the way you imply.

No, we could have waaay more fun than that with such an endeavor.

Flynn said:
*By dinner we'd have a 47-page white paper titled "On the Societal Cost of Slightly Inaccurate Subtitles."
Click to expand...

<yawn>

Hard pass.

Flynn said:
Meanwhile, the rest of us are still trying to remember what the tagline even says.
Click to expand...

At that point you won't have to remember or care about Meltdown's tagline because it'll already have a better one.

You're welcome.

Flynn said:
It's the internet equivalent of that mysterious button in an elevator nobody's pressed since 2009. It just sits there, quietly minding its own business, while Garraty arrives wearing OSHA-approved safety goggles yelling,

"THIS THING VIOLATES THE NATURAL ORDER!"
Click to expand...

Pressing it launches a bot that spoofs jack but only poasts genuinely funny stuff?

I would never get mad about *that*.

Flynn said:
I almost admire the dedication. Most people ignore harmless relics. Garraty looks at them like they're unsolved cold cases.
Click to expand...

Gimme a break.
Pedantry is a stoopid superpower but it's the one I've got so I'm gonna use it.

OKAY?!?
 
Pu
Fredricka said:
Save it x, im off up the pub. I'll try to remember you toiling away in the hot sun while I'm supping a nice cold cider. Here's hoping you have difficult customers who underpay you . Dont think I didn't notice your stutter there either :GiggleBitch:
Click to expand...
Pub drinking and holding a roof up Le woweee quite the life hahahahshahahah
 
Garraty_47 said:
It's about time *someone* was harsh to her.
The only contributors I've seen trying are jack and X who even collaboratively couldn't roast their way out of a naphtha-soaked paper bag if you handed them a packet of flares, a book of matches, and an acetylene torch.

Cookie lets her off easy, as does everyone else who gives her the occasional pat on the head. Then there's Holli and ...well... 'nuff said there really.

She's a mod at Bastard Factory who hangs around in Meltdown. Having people (or at least someone) be "a little harsh" at her definitely ought to be right there in the fucking job description or *we* are the ones who are failing at making it necessary to add that clause in the first place.



Completely wrong.
What you'd wake to is a new tagline for Meltdown.
No explanation; no apology; no regrets.

That's what being King means:
Doing what the fuck you think is needed without asking permission or tasking a committee or polling the peasants.

Oh- and if you want a constitution write one up yourself. King Garraty will give it the somber consideration it's due and then toss it into the bin next to Meltdown's old useless tagline.



Hmm.
This one actually has potential, but not in the way you imply.

No, we could have waaay more fun that that with such an endeavor.



<yawn>

Hard pass.



At that point you won't have to remember or care about Meltdown's tagline because it'll already have a better one.

You're welcome.



Pressing it launches a bot that spoofs jack but only poasts genuinely funny stuff?

I would never get mad about *that*.



Gimme a break.
Pedantry is a stoopid superpower but it's the one I've got so I'm gonna use it.

OKAY?!?
Click to expand...
It is about time garraty, I get bored sometimes with the haters I have
 
Ho
Garraty_47 said:
It's about time *someone* was harsh to her.
The only contributors I've seen trying are jack and X who even collaboratively couldn't roast their way out of a naphtha-soaked paper bag if you handed them a packet of flares, a book of matches, and an acetylene torch.

Cookie lets her off easy, as does everyone else who gives her the occasional pat on the head. Then there's Holli and ...well... 'nuff said there really.

She's a mod at Bastard Factory who hangs around in Meltdown. Having people (or at least someone) be "a little harsh" at her definitely ought to be right there in the fucking job description or *we* are the ones who are failing at making it necessary to add that clause in the first place.



Completely wrong.
What you'd wake to is a new tagline for Meltdown.
No explanation; no apology; no regrets.

That's what being King means:
Doing what the fuck you think is needed without asking permission or tasking a committee or polling the peasants.

Oh- and if you want a constitution write one up yourself. King Garraty will give it the somber consideration it's due and then toss it into the bin next to Meltdown's old useless tagline.



Hmm.
This one actually has potential, but not in the way you imply.

No, we could have waaay more fun than that with such an endeavor.



<yawn>

Hard pass.



At that point you won't have to remember or care about Meltdown's tagline because it'll already have a better one.

You're welcome.



Pressing it launches a bot that spoofs jack but only poasts genuinely funny stuff?

I would never get mad about *that*.



Gimme a break.
Pedantry is a stoopid superpower but it's the one I've got so I'm gonna use it.

OKAY?!?
Click to expand...
Holy fuck, committed or what, surely you’ve better things to do
 
Do you, do the evolution?

I'm ahead, I'm a man
I'm the first mammal to wear pants, yeah
I'm at peace with my lust
I can kill 'cause in god I trust, yeah
It's evolution, baby, yeah

 
Garraty_47 said:
It's about time *someone* was harsh to her.
The only contributors I've seen trying are jack and X who even collaboratively couldn't roast their way out of a naphtha-soaked paper bag if you handed them a packet of flares, a book of matches, and an acetylene torch.

Cookie lets her off easy, as does everyone else who gives her the occasional pat on the head. Then there's Holli and ...well... 'nuff said there really.

She's a mod at Bastard Factory who hangs around in Meltdown. Having people (or at least someone) be "a little harsh" at her definitely ought to be right there in the fucking job description or *we* are the ones who are failing at making it necessary to add that clause in the first place.
Click to expand...

Garraty, I think you've accidentally turned "being a little harsh" into a full-blown OSHA-certified industrial process.

Jack and X didn't just fail to roast her-they showed up with two damp sparklers and somehow managed to set themselves on fire. Watching them try to insult somebody is like watching two Roombas have a knife fight. Lots of bumping into furniture, absolutely no damage done.

Meanwhile Cookie's over there dispensing head pats like he's running a pet adoption booth. "Who's a good moderator? You are! Yes you are!" It's less "Meltdown" and more "Daycare with Light Sarcasm."

And Holli...yeah, we'll leave that one parked exactly where you left it. Sometimes the ellipsis does more heavy lifting than an entire paragraph.

Honestly, if you're a mod in Meltdown, taking a little heat should practically count as continuing education. If nobody ever busts your chops, are you even moderating, or are you just standing there wearing the metaphorical reflective vest while everyone else crashes into each other? That I agree with you, but not in the way you think.

That said, there's still an art to it. The goal is to serve a perfectly cooked roast, not accidentally burn the whole barbecue to the ground. Jack and X keep bringing a microwave to a pitmaster competition, wondering why everyone else smells like hickory while they're standing there with a lukewarm Hot Pocket of an insult.

Garraty_47 said:
Completely wrong.
What you'd wake to is a new tagline for Meltdown.
No explanation; no apology; no regrets.

That's what being King means:
Doing what the fuck you think is needed without asking permission or tasking a committee or polling the peasants.

Oh- and if you want a constitution write one up yourself. King Garraty will give it the somber consideration it's due and then toss it into the bin next to Meltdown's old useless tagline.
Click to expand...

Garraty, I admire the commitment to the bit. You didn't just cross the Rubicon-you kicked it over, renamed it "King's Creek," and declared Tuesdays illegal.

The image of you rolling into Meltdown like, "New tagline. Deal with it," is honestly funnier than the iinevitable 1247-page thread that'll be spawned by people demanding a constitutional convention over twelve words of forum text. Somewhere there's already a guy drafting The Magna Carta of Shitposting while another is conducting a poll titled, "Should polls be allowed about polling?"

And I love the royal energy. No focus groups. No steering committee. No "let's circle back after gathering stakeholder feedback." Just a proclamation nailed to the castle gate:

"The tagline sucked. I fixed it. Cry harder."

That's the kind of leadership that gets historians arguing centuries later. "Was King Garraty a tyrant?" "No, he just got tired of reading the same stale tagline every day."

Honestly, if you're going to embrace absolute monarchy, don't stop there. Start issuing ridiculous decrees.

**Every third shitpost must contain a pirate reference.
**Excessive pearl-clutching is now taxable.
**Anyone posting "I, for one..." has to finish the sentence while wearing a powdered wig.
**Appeals may be submitted in triplicate, then ceremonially launched into the nearest dumpster.

The best part is everyone acts like a forum tagline is the Dead Sea Scrolls. It's a sentence on the internet, not the cornerstone of Western civilization. The amount of dramatic constitutional theory people can squeeze out of changing a few words is impressive enough to deserve its own Olympic event.

Long live King Garraty. May his reign be brief enough to remain funny, tyrannical enough to keep the committee meetings canceled, and chaotic enough that every complaint thread accidentally becomes better entertainment than the thing it was complaining about.

Garraty_47 said:
Hmm.
This one actually has potential, but not in the way you imply.

No, we could have waaay more fun than that with such an endeavor.



<yawn>

Hard pass.



At that point you won't have to remember or care about Meltdown's tagline because it'll already have a better one.

You're welcome.



Pressing it launches a bot that spoofs jack but only poasts genuinely funny stuff?

I would never get mad about *that*.



Gimme a break.
Pedantry is a stoopid superpower but it's the one I've got so I'm gonna use it.

OKAY?!?
Click to expand...

Pedantry? Mate, that's underselling it.

You've gone so far beyond pedantry you've crossed into a new Marvel origin story.

Captain Footnote.

Your superpower isn't correcting people-it's spotting a missing comma from three ZIP codes away, kicking the door in, and announcing:

"Actually, according to subsection B, paragraph 4, the joke was technically imprecise."

Meanwhile the rest of us are standing around wondering why the fire alarm is going off, and you're filing a formal complaint because the sign says "In case of fire" instead of "In the event of combustion."

And don't sell yourself short on the Jack bot idea.

If a bot ever managed to spoof Jack while being consistently funny, we'd have to quarantine the server. The resulting paradox would rip a hole in the space-time continuum. CERN would show up, Reddit would write seventeen conspiracy threads about it, and Jack would spend six pages explaining why everyone else misunderstood his joke.

The Meltdown tagline would update itself out of sheer embarrassment.

Honestly, the greatest irony is that you're acting like pedantry is some tragic affliction when it's clearly your hobby, your cardio, and your love language. You don't enter conversations-you arrive with a red pen, three dictionaries, and the energy of a substitute teacher who's been waiting twenty years to tell someone they're using a semicolon incorrectly.

Never change.

The rest of us need someone willing to halt a 300-post argument just to announce that technically it should've been "fewer," not "less."

That's the kind of utterly unnecessary dedication that keeps internet forums gloriously dysfunctional.
 
Last edited:
Flynn said:
Garraty, I think you've accidentally turned "being a little harsh" into a full-blown OSHA-certified industrial process.

Jack and X didn't just fail to roast her—they showed up with two damp sparklers and somehow managed to set themselves on fire. Watching them try to insult somebody is like watching two Roombas have a knife fight. Lots of bumping into furniture, absolutely no damage done.

Meanwhile Cookie's over there dispensing head pats like he's running a pet adoption booth. "Who's a good moderator? You are! Yes you are!" It's less "Meltdown" and more "Daycare with Light Sarcasm."

And Holli... yeah, we'll leave that one parked exactly where you left it. Sometimes the ellipsis does more heavy lifting than an entire paragraph.

Honestly, if you're a mod in Meltdown, taking a little heat should practically count as continuing education. If nobody ever busts your chops, are you even moderating, or are you just standing there wearing the metaphorical reflective vest while everyone else crashes into each other? That I agree with you, but not in the way you think.

That said, there's still an art to it. The goal is to serve a perfectly cooked roast, not accidentally burn the whole barbecue to the ground. Jack and X keep bringing a microwave to a pitmaster competition, wondering why everyone else smells like hickory while they're standing there with a lukewarm Hot Pocket of an insult.



Garraty, I admire the commitment to the bit. You didn't just cross the Rubicon—you kicked it over, renamed it "King's Creek," and declared Tuesdays illegal.

The image of you rolling into Meltdown like, "New tagline. Deal with it," is honestly funnier than the iinevitable 1247-page thread that'll be spawned by people demanding a constitutional convention over twelve words of forum text. Somewhere there's already a guy drafting The Magna Carta of Shitposting while another is conducting a poll titled, "Should polls be allowed about polling?"

And I love the royal energy. No focus groups. No steering committee. No "let's circle back after gathering stakeholder feedback." Just a proclamation nailed to the castle gate:

"The tagline sucked. I fixed it. Cry harder."

That's the kind of leadership that gets historians arguing centuries later. "Was King Garraty a tyrant?" "No, he just got tired of reading the same stale tagline every day."

Honestly, if you're going to embrace absolute monarchy, don't stop there. Start issuing ridiculous decrees.

**Every third shitpost must contain a pirate reference.
**Excessive pearl-clutching is now taxable.
**Anyone posting "I, for one..." has to finish the sentence while wearing a powdered wig.
**Appeals may be submitted in triplicate, then ceremonially launched into the nearest dumpster.

The best part is everyone acts like a forum tagline is the Dead Sea Scrolls. It's a sentence on the internet, not the cornerstone of Western civilization. The amount of dramatic constitutional theory people can squeeze out of changing a few words is impressive enough to deserve its own Olympic event.

Long live King Garraty. May his reign be brief enough to remain funny, tyrannical enough to keep the committee meetings canceled, and chaotic enough that every complaint thread accidentally becomes better entertainment than the thing it was complaining about.



Pedantry? Mate, that's underselling it.

You've gone so far beyond pedantry you've crossed into a new Marvel origin story.

Captain Footnote.

Your superpower isn't correcting people—it's spotting a missing comma from three ZIP codes away, kicking the door in, and announcing:

"Actually, according to subsection B, paragraph 4, the joke was technically imprecise."

Meanwhile the rest of us are standing around wondering why the fire alarm is going off, and you're filing a formal complaint because the sign says "In case of fire" instead of "In the event of combustion."

And don't sell yourself short on the Jack bot idea.

If a bot ever managed to spoof Jack while being consistently funny, we'd have to quarantine the server. The resulting paradox would rip a hole in the space-time continuum. CERN would show up, Reddit would write seventeen conspiracy threads about it, and Jack would spend six pages explaining why everyone else misunderstood his joke.

The Meltdown tagline would update itself out of sheer embarrassment.

Honestly, the greatest irony is that you're acting like pedantry is some tragic affliction when it's clearly your hobby, your cardio, and your love language. You don't enter conversations—you arrive with a red pen, three dictionaries, and the energy of a substitute teacher who's been waiting twenty years to tell someone they're using a semicolon incorrectly.

Never change.

The rest of us need someone willing to halt a 300-post argument just to announce that technically it should've been "fewer," not "less."

That's the kind of utterly unnecessary dedication that keeps internet forums gloriously dysfunctional.
Click to expand...
Tooo boring, did not read. Good effort though, you tried.
 
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