Your Last Post ?

Swamp-Duck

Factory Bastard
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Mogadishu
So if you was on your deathbed and could make a last post to everyone here, what would you post ?
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TheHaze

If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won'teither
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9,909
If I was on my death bed don't think I would be posting shit to anyone but would say to the people around me; I buryed 1 millon dollars out by theeeeeeeee- - - - -- - - - - -
 

Bastard Factory

Chairman of the Bored
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My last ever post.....

Will and Testament of Bastard Factory.

On Friday, after reading this thread, I completely restructured my will. Ever since that Michael Jackson estate thing, I lose sleep so it now officially states: I, Bastard Factory aka BF, loyal member of Bastard Factory Forums, do make and declare my last will and testament as follows: First and foremost, should I pass into the ether due to unforeseen circumstances in or out of posting on the internet, my body such as it can be found shall be transported with all due haste back to the suburbs of Denver, and given over to the care of any family member who I assume will take me back. I wish nothing but peace and affluence to my family and friends and a piece of effluence to all my enemies. (u know who u r)

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As for my possessions: To longtime forum member and friend realgrimm, I leave my entire closet of polyester disco shirts and collection of Dance Fever VHS tapes. For my friends and fellow forum members, you are all to have a MASSIVE 24+ hour party with flowing top shelf liquors and smoke of all kinds permeating the rooms... my gallon bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label at my side. The winning raffle will be announced for the admin logins. At a specified time, the house lights will begin to flicker and enter my mother and stepfather wearing their matching Adidas leisure suits covered in bright sequins from head to toe. The rest of the family, and a good bit of you board members will then enter from stage left as my casket, lined in silver satin and blacklight bulbs... ** strobes flashing** comes from stage right on a series of titanium rollers as I am eased near center floor. The thunderous bassline of Disco Inferno will begin to deafen any rumble of background chatter... I will then pop up, out of my casket, dead with a permanent grin affixed on my face from the surgeons touch... my fingers jolting into the air as a turntable deck rushes on stage in front of my lifeless body... strings attached to my body parts will flail me around to do a kind of endless running man, as the beat begins pumping that disco beat through 4 HUGE, state of the art touring amps. I've also arranged to pay out a large amount for the stunning beauties of Bastard Factory Forums and a few others to come and actually dance for me under a well known Mtv choreographer.

In their minds eye they will see that I truly am grand, and was the infinite well of passion, compassion and that I still offer erotically pleasurable memories of satisfaction for not just them, but all you to bathe in. The skilled puppetmaster will move my limbs in a matter that'll make me spin to some of todays freshest beats. A rave will then ensue, packing the dancefloor. After what will seem to be an eternity of pleasure, the crowd will look back BFs way, only to see that he is no longer there... just his near empty Johnny Walker bottle.

Everyone else will head around the corner to the afterparty smiling ear to ear forgetting who I was or maybe they didn't care in the first place.