Well at least the eye thing was nothing to worry about in the end. I didn't know you wore contact lenses, maybe you should just wear glasses instead? Its not like when we were kids and everyone used to laugh at people in specs, these days its accepted and women can look hot as fuck in them Lol. Personally I don't think I could touch my eyeball and all that shit people have to do who wear lenses. Don't you have to take them out every night otherwise they stick to your retina? Guaranteed I'd end up falling asleep pissed up after a night out and forget to take them out...
I don't know anything about ADHD. Obviously I've heard of it, its one of those mental health issues which was unheard of in the past but these days its talked about constantly. Same with autism.... Heck, I've probably got shit wrong with me that has never been diagnosed Lol. It seems like back when we were young, mental health wasn't as much of a priority, unless of course your behaviour was really fucking bad and you had to go to a "naughty school".
I don't smoke weed, but it sounds like you should do some bongs with your daughter and let your hair down at the weekend to relieve the stress, you deserve it. Failing that, just get on the Aldi wine haha.
Oh lord I haven't wore contacts since my 20s. I wore regular glasses.
I just take them off for photos normally because its just way too hot. Its not fair to other people. When i throw my butt length thick hair in a messy bun, put my glasses on and run to the store in my sweat pants its just TOO much for average people. Its why I rarely go out.
In all seriousness....i started getting double vision in my regular glasses 5 years ago, so I went and got proggresive lenses. I did NOT tell the eye doctor about the double vision. Im am asshole so I have to make things harder for myself. When I finally broke and cried to my man about it.....he made it so simple that I feel stupid for hiding it.
Just so you know what level of asshole I truly am, I used to passionately argue that ADHD isnt real. And everyone in my life thinks I have it. And they are correct. I DO have it.
So do I admit I was wrong? And own having it? Lord no! That would be the easy and normal thing to do!
Nope I just....hide it lol. And not very well. My kids literally work around it. They know they have to remind me of things constantly and they know WHEN to NOT try to tell me something they want me to remember. They know when im over stimulated. They see the glazed and distant look in my eyes and they just come back to it later.
They know I have it. I know I have it. But we must do this dance .....because im a massive dick.
The ONLY other person who knows is my man. He uses it as ammo too. He will say "im gonna tell your kids you have ADHD!" Lol.
I dont even know WHY im so stubborn about this. Im only making shit harder for MYSELF. My daughters know I was a dancer. And we have talked about that at length. I didnt tell them, they somehow figured that out.
My oldest one day ....when she started learning about budgets and income (i included my girls in that process because I wanted them to learn) realized "wait....how did mom afford that house walking distance from ocean on waitress money? And who waitresses in NOLA?"
Im okay with them knowing that. I actually have a really close relationship with my daughters. There isnt much we dont talk about.
So I dont understand why im so bent on this.
I dont want to keep doing this though. Its like no matter how good my life is, or how pleased I am with it, I hit a ceiling and go flat and start struggling and having difficulty staying present. And I cant control it. I just mentally leave. My brain just spins and it drains all the life out of me and I have to PUSH through regular tasks.
If you saw the amount of coffee I consume on a daily basis youd be shocked. I can go through a pot of coffee and go to sleep. Sometimes I cant sleep at ALL even when im exhausted.
If you see me here at 1...2am? Im on here so I can fall asleep. Because if I put my phone down and close my eyes my stupid brain thinks its party time...I HAVE to be looking at text or a video to fall asleep sometimes.
I just know im gonna have to take drugs and im not thrilled about doing that.
And yeah when ibwas a teenager I had a traumatic event that left me with PTSD. So i was placed in psych care for two years and ended up at the "naughty school" for bad kids lol.
We had an hour off campus lunch and we would use that hour to smoke weed and its what got me through HS. I genuinely dont think id have graduated otherwise.
