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I have a fraction of your supposed wonderful life and manage to stay offline a few hours a day
 
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There he goes again bragging about something he supposedly did that. He's so proud of. If you actually accomplish something you wouldn't need to say it, but you didn't so there's that.
 
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My hand surgery is not because I'm an atheist. I accidentally dipped it in a holy water because I was thirsty. I'm looking for a quick drink of water.
 
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Again, the sentence structure is a little messed up because of the dictating, but I did at least try to work a joke there unlike you regurgitate the same shit all day long
 
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But I don't like to be rude, I appreciate the attention you've given me by nipping around my ankles, so I try not to ignore you X