Confessions

Fornikate

Running on empty
Elite Bastards
Messages
248
#1
Get it off your chest.....



Catching the bus on the way to school one morning I found a dirty tampon on the bus seat, and being immature as well as a bit naive, I found the entire thing hilarious enough to scoop it into an orange juice bottle laying around, and take it to school for a bit of playground show and tell.... It didnt go down to well, no one really laughed ( no idea why) so I tossed it in the blocked sink in the girls dunny... A bit later I was called in to explain my bloody behaviour and to unblock the sink which had gone from clear to the red sea.... I guess I should be ashamed, but nope I still find it funny, mainly because that blooded tampon was probably as close to a cunt that headmaster had ever seen.
 

Swamp-Duck

There are only so many tomorrow’s
Elite Bastards
Messages
7,278
Location
Doggerland
#3
I once sold my brothers ferret to buy fireworks , I was about 9 and I’m still not sorry.
 

Fornikate

Running on empty
Elite Bastards
Messages
248
#6
I also confess I lied about my age on adult forums and was underage on most of them for a good while :Blush:maybe i should keep that one to myself...
 

Mr. Whipple

brilliantly insane
Messages
2,773
Location
Upstate NY by the Adirondack mountains
#10
when I tended bar we had a trap door behind the bar that you used for basement access via a ladder to the coolers and to change kegs etc..The owner was behind the bar , I was on the other side using the pay phone he had docked my pay as I came up short the night before , no big deal ( NOW ) lol ..he was face to face with me taunting me the kitchen help came up from the basement to unload cases , I knew the boss didn't know the trap was open , I said nothing he turned took a step and down he went...broke several ribs and got a concussion ..best 20 bucks I ever spent.

 

Fornikate

Running on empty
Elite Bastards
Messages
248
#11
when I tended bar we had a trap door behind the bar that you used for basement access via a ladder to the coolers and to change kegs etc..The owner was behind the bar , I was on the other side using the pay phone he had docked my pay as I came up short the night before , no big deal ( NOW ) lol ..he was face to face with me taunting me the kitchen help came up from the basement to unload cases , I knew the boss didn't know the trap was open , I said nothing he turned took a step and down he went...broke several ribs and got a concussion ..best 20 bucks I ever spent.

I dunno why, but reading that while looking at your avatar just made it twice as funny:ROFL3:
 

Oliver Shagnasty

Dangerously romantic
Elite Bastards
Messages
1,667
#12
When playing monopoly I always steal people's cash when they're not looking and I've never been caught.
Oh and I always cheat at Battleship.
 

Oliver Shagnasty

Dangerously romantic
Elite Bastards
Messages
1,667
#13
When I was in fifth grade I prank called my teacher pretending to be a woman having an affair with her husband. Damn! She got mad! I hadn't reached puberty yet and was told I sounded like a girl over the phone.
Yes I pulled it off.
 

Damaged Maven

A little older and a little stupider than most.
Elite Bastards
Messages
846
Location
37.27, -76.7
#14
I was AWOL from the navy for a while, camping out at mum's house. I was lucky to pick up the phone when my division officer called her house, my home of record. In a convincing dad voice I assured him that if I showed up there he'd kick my ass back to the ship. It worked until a letter showed up in the mailbox... and my mum kicked my ass all the way back to the ship.
 

Swamp-Duck

There are only so many tomorrow’s
Elite Bastards
Messages
7,278
Location
Doggerland
#15
When I was about 15 I stole a dog from a breakers yard, he was covered in filth and I was told they beat him with a chain. I only had him for about 6 months, he was just starting to trust people when he attacked another dog and almost killed it, the police found me and the dog had a large chunk of coppers arse cheek for lunch. Had to have him put to sleep. Thinking about it now, that dog was really dangerous, lol the stupid shit you do at that age.
 

Scott

Dedicated Deviant
Messages
1,201
#17
I was AWOL from the navy for a while, camping out at mum's house. I was lucky to pick up the phone when my division officer called her house, my home of record. In a convincing dad voice I assured him that if I showed up there he'd kick my ass back to the ship. It worked until a letter showed up in the mailbox... and my mum kicked my ass all the way back to the ship.
Everybody gets froggy thoughts when back home on leave.
 

Swamp-Duck

There are only so many tomorrow’s
Elite Bastards
Messages
7,278
Location
Doggerland
#19
I once found some rope and a pole so I made a fishing rod type thing and tied a dead rat on the end, I stood on top of the underpass and when people came through I dangled it in their faces.
 
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