Why were you in jail
@Dove ?
I was at the pub we all used to hang out at and this married couple from the area was there. Bruce and Julie. I was fighting with my husband and went up to the pub (which was crawling distance from my apartment) by myself to get hammered and sing karaoke with my friends. I was 21. No kids or anything yet.
And her husband kept pinching me. Like..pinching my nipples through my shirt and then acting like he didnt do anything. And I hate drama. So I was trying to just avoid him but he kept amping it up. And I was standing at the bar getting another pitcher of beer and he slid by and full on grabbed my girl junk. Gave me the Trump something fierce and he just sat down like nothing happened and was talking to another guy and his wife was standing there.
And im standing there just....stunned....and the more it sank in....the rage was just seeping in and I got MAD. I grabbed a heavy GLASS ashtray, threw it his head...HIT him in the back of the head (he needed 3 stitches) and the wife immediately was in my face running her mouth and I was TRYING to tell her why I just busted her husband in the noggin with an ashtray but she wasnt hearing me. She pushed me and as soon as her hands touched me I jumped up and head butted her right in the face. Dropped her FAST.
And if this wasnt already a white trash kind of night...i ended up getting into it with the bartender who was a VERY large, VERY no nonsense woman named "Margie". And Margie wasnt having any more of my shit and she grabbed me up and physically PUT me on the sidewalk outside and told me the cops were on their way.
I sat there quietly and waited. And when the cops arrive I stood up and said "its me. You're here for me. I just assaulted two people" and they looked at me....looked at eachother....laughed....one cuffed me while the other went in to make sure.
And they carted me off to the clink. They did ask me what happened and we talked about it on the way to jail and it was not an unpleasant arrested at all it felt like just laughing and bullshitting. I wasn't hiding anytning so discourse was relaxed and they were cool with me. Let me have a cigarette before processing me. Got me a bottled water. Let me call more then one person and put me in a separate cell so I didnt have to be with the weirdos in the drunk tank. I got hooked up for a dumb drunk bitch who just had a bar fight.
I called my man(who was my best friend at this time) and he got up and got dressed and came and bailed me out.
The lovely married couple I beat up never pressed charges and the state didnt either so even though I gave a sizable man stitches in his head and blackened both of his wife's eyes as well as busted her nose.....i completely got away with it but I was NOT quiet about Mr Nipple Pinchy and I also wasnt the only one.....like EVERYONE believed me because he had that reputation I guess.
They divorced a year or so later to the surprise of no one.
My pussy ass bitch of a husband was actually upset with me and whining about how I probably got him into a fight with that guy now. I was like.....you fucking little shit weasle....dont worry honey ILL handle him. Again.
I also divorced him about a year later..to the surprise of no one lol
