Ruin A Date In One Sentence

[Alticus]

I'll start.

My mother will be paying for the dinner.

 

[Swamp-Duck]

I bet my cock was bigger than yours before I had it made into something else.

 

[Kitty Zhang]

father will becoming with us.

 

[X]

You're gonna hold the gun and wear this ski mask okay .

 

[RANCIDMILKO ™ ®©]

The doctor said it's not contagious.

 

[Clothahump]

My wife's prettier than you are.

 

[Dove]

"Hey @Biggie Smiles ...can you pick me up from the airport... I just landed"

 

[RANCIDMILKO ™ ®©]

I'm wondering, would you mind if my cousin Tony watched us? He'll stay in the closet."

 

[Murdy]

I live with my ex.

Translation: be ready for drama

 

[Biggie Smiles]

"Hey @Biggie Smiles ...can you pick me up from the airport... I just landed"

that shit was bananas

 

[RANCIDMILKO ™ ®©]

"Yes, it was me on that scene. My boyfriend had left me and I needed money to pay the rent."

 

[Lily]

I will fuck you, fuck over your kids and contact everyone that you have ever known. These are the rules.

 

[RANCIDMILKO ™ ®©]

"It doesn't matter if I was born a woman or not, does it?"

 

[Breakfall]

“Do you fuck on first dates…does your dad own a brewery?”

~Kevin Bloody Wilson

 

[Carignan]

Why is your face more filtered more than your online pics?
(Oh never mind Dr. Frankenstein worked on ya didn't he?)

 

[chew the fat]

I've been unemployed for a while ... could you pay the Rolling Stones concert tickets ... tia.

 

[Murdy]

I will fuck you, fuck over your kids and contact everyone that you have ever known. These are the rules.

What the novela?

 

[Murdy]

So what team are you guys from?

 

[Alticus]

Your cleavage is giving me a chubby.

 

[realgrimm]

Do my balls smell funny, it's been awhile since I washed em

 

[Alticus]

Do you know Biggie Smiles?

 

[Swamp-Duck]

I’ve got this smelly discharge cos I fucked a baboon last week, you don’t mind if I use your shower before we get down to it later do you ?

 

[The Prowler]

<phone rings>

"That is my wife. Do you mind of I get it?"

 

[Alticus]

You're giving me a chubby.

 

[LotusBud]

I'm a white nationalist.

 

[Breakfall]

I'm a leftard!

That you most definitely are KarenBud.

 

[chew the fat]

Her period is overdue ...

 

[Alticus]

Can you pay? All i have is Canadian Tire money.

 

[realgrimm]

Do you make alot of noise when your scared?

 

[Murdy]

POV: you meet someone online and gravitate toward their online persona… only later to find out that it’s exactly that.

Them: hello