When have you had enough,?

[Dove]

It is me facing a mouthy and disobedient teen stepson.

You can kick this punks ass right, why are you on here whining? Violence violence, it's the only thing that will make them see sense, violence.

.Sounds like he married an illegal. That makes it tough.
Probably the best thing to do is shoot and run at this stage.
. Or...maybe try to recall what a disrespectful fuck he was at 17.
. It's normal for a son to challenge the father in some way at that age.
. Maybe a game of basketball, or a fishing contest.
Of course it may be more complicated since not the biological father.
.Did the kid know the dad, or have no memory?

My wife was never an illegal. When we got married she lived in Panama and we started the legal immigration process. I explained the situation with the bio dad after your post but just above this post.

Leftists think every immigrant is illegal and that if you are right leaning you hate immigrants

They have no grasp of the issue whatsoever. Total slaves to their hateful stereotypes of others.

 

[Oerdin]

We knew each other since we were 19 and I was stationed down in Panama. We decided we were too young to get married so at the end of my time there I went home and she stayed there. Years later she contacted me on Facebook and said she was going to San Diego to visit her sister who married and American and lived in San Diego and would I like to meet up with her for drinks?

 

[Dove]

We knew each other since we were 19 and I was stationed down in Panama. We decided we were too young to get married so at the end of my time there I went home and she stayed there. Years later she contacted me on Facebook and said she was going to San Diego to visit her sister who married and American and lived in San Diego and would I like to meet up with her for drinks?

Awww.

I have a sort of sweet spot for stories about couples who broke up long ago getting back together later down the road and having a successful relationship.

So you better make it work.....my romantic daydreams are rooting for you lol.

 

[Blazor]

So he has only been here a little over three months.

I think here lies part of the problem, not enough bonding time.

I had several stepdads growing up, hated almost every one of them, at least at first. They were outsiders to me, thinking they could tell me what to do. So your stepson prolly has that "you're not my dad" mentality.

You want respect from him, but you havent earned it yet. Respect comes with time.

He prolly also has some resentment, and depression, from taking him out of a situation he was happy with. You have to get on his level too, with some understanding.

He shouldnt disrespect his mom, at all.

Yes, teenagers can be very frustrating, I know. Its a phase they go through. Mine is 22 now. They have to "learn things on their own", before they come around again.

If you were commanding him, in an angry voice, to come eat, I can see why he got hostile. Disrespectful.... yes. But again, you havent EARNED that respect from him. Im not condoning what he said though, that was pretty fucked up. I never had to deal with that with my son, and I never had a stepson to deal with. But I did have a stepdad that thought he was king shit, til I blocked his spanking, blocked his shove, and shoved him back, with a look on my face like "BRING IT MOTHERFUCKER!". He never touched me again. Glad my aunt put me through karate class lol. The guy never earned my respect, because he was a drunken asshole, always wanting to argue, and be in control. It wasnt til later, that he kicked the alcohol after my mom kicked him out, that we wound up getting closer. Too lil too late for him and my mom though, as she met someone else.

My mom kicked me out at 18, for calling her a bitch. Long story lol. But could legally do so. I hope it doesnt come to that with y'all.

I will also say, those Xbox friends, prolly contribute to his attitude. Some spoiled rotten kids with attitude out there. And they prolly put shit in his head. With corona keeping kids out of school, its prolly his only escape, and his only friends though.

If this was MY situation, I would first have a talk with your wife, about what you plan to do. Then I would take that son, somewhere he enjoys, or on a hike or something, where y'all can get away and have a talk. Apologize to him about how you snapped, but let him know why you acted that way. That it bothered you that he was disrespecting his mother, and that you were raised with manners and respect. Dont sound stern, sound understanding. See if he apologizes too. Let him know you love his mother very much, and that you only want the best for all of them. See if y'all can bond on a mutual understanding, and go from there.

Remember, for him to respect you, you need to earn that respect, and vice versa. Dont let him be a pushover though. I think after how you pushed back, he knows you wont fuck around lol, so he has a taste. But that either pushed him away more with a sour taste in his mouth, or he may of grown a lil respect for you, for not being a pussy.

I know this post was long, so I'll end it here, but could prolly say more lol.

 

[LotusBud]

I am a very forgiving man, the one thing I will not accept is intentional disrespect. My wife and I made very clear that dinner was at 5:30pm. The one thing which will get me upset as all get go is when I tell a child that dinner is served and they ignore me.. This is not an option, this is the lord of the manner has spoken and you had better obey, or else.

When the eldest, who is 17 year olds challenged me I asked him what he would do, when he said he would hit me, well, I kind of lost it, I told him him I had fought in two wars and would gladly break my plate across his face if he failed to listen to me... He got upset but didn't do anything as my wife protected him. Look, if you live in my house when I say your mother has cooked dinner and it is time to come eat that means the time is now. It does not mean 20 minutes later if you feel like it. It especially doesn't mean the day after you have a tantrum and refuse to come with us when we plan on going shopping to buy you clothes that you again disrespect me and disobey me in my own house.

Damn, right, I will cause a major stink. You will obey my minor commands, such as it is dinner time, or else I will cause a huge incident if you disrespect me. I pay for everything, you need me far more than I need you, and you shall obey.

Your poor kids.

 

[LotusBud]

I let myself get baited by a teen and so became the bad guy. I tried to lay down the law on a very simple thing, you shall come to the dinner table when your mother says dinner is ready. He deliberately took 20 minutes to come to the table, just like yesterday he deliberately dragged his feet when his mother and I were going to buy the two boys new clothing. He took so long, over 20 minutes to put shoes on, that I just drove off in frustration, especially after his month told him to hurry up twice but he did not.

Today, after waiting 15-20 minutes for him to come eat after being told to come eat... He finally arrived and I told him I expect very little but when his mother cooks I expect him to be on time. He got confrontational and said "or what? What will you do old man?" So I told him if he disrespected me again I could break his bones to teach him a lesson. He again said "what will you do" so I, wrongly I admit, said if he didn't shut his mouth would break my dinner plate over his head and then show him this old man could still beat the fuck out of him. Naturally, my wife then became hysterical.

She feels bad because for four years she let him be raised by has grandparents and so she feels less of a mother while he doesn't think there are any boundaries. He started crying and called his aunt and grandmother to come get him. Qi am, on one hand disgusted at myself for getting baited, and at the other hand disgusted by the out of control and disrespectful teen. In the end I think Ibmade myself look worse by being baited.

Telling a kid you will break his bones if he disrespects you is GUARANTEED to make him disrespect you more. That is not the way to speak to anyone, and it is not at all what I would call forgiving. Teenagers do stupid shit. ALL teenagers. If you were truly forgiving, you would come up with some sort of consequence that is not a threat of violence and is not a knee jerk response uttered in anger. It is your job as the adult to find a consequence that helps him adjust his behavior and respect you. What you did -- that will make him distrust and disrespect you.

 

[Oerdin]

I did mention that I regretted that and shouldn't have done it even if he had threatened to hit me. I allowed myself to be baited and over reacted. I have to own that part of the guilt. I do feel he also has to own his part in what he said and did.

I have proposed a family meeting to resolve the situation and make sure everyone is on the same page, myself included, about how we expect people to behave and act towards each other. My wife wants to wait a day or two to let things blow over and I want to make sure that she and I are on the same page about how to handle situations in the future.

Do you have any productive suggestions?

 

[Oerdin]

I would also like to mention we don't do spankings or anything like that. I did react in anger at his threat to hit me. I shouldn't have responded in kind. I still have not physically done anything to anyone but responding to threats with more threats does escalate the situation. I am still at a lose as to what to do in such a situation.

 

[Dove]

I let myself get baited by a teen and so became the bad guy. I tried to lay down the law on a very simple thing, you shall come to the dinner table when your mother says dinner is ready. He deliberately took 20 minutes to come to the table, just like yesterday he deliberately dragged his feet when his mother and I were going to buy the two boys new clothing. He took so long, over 20 minutes to put shoes on, that I just drove off in frustration, especially after his month told him to hurry up twice but he did not.

Today, after waiting 15-20 minutes for him to come eat after being told to come eat... He finally arrived and I told him I expect very little but when his mother cooks I expect him to be on time. He got confrontational and said "or what? What will you do old man?" So I told him if he disrespected me again I could break his bones to teach him a lesson. He again said "what will you do" so I, wrongly I admit, said if he didn't shut his mouth would break my dinner plate over his head and then show him this old man could still beat the fuck out of him. Naturally, my wife then became hysterical.

She feels bad because for four years she let him be raised by has grandparents and so she feels less of a mother while he doesn't think there are any boundaries. He started crying and called his aunt and grandmother to come get him. Qi am, on one hand disgusted at myself for getting baited, and at the other hand disgusted by the out of control and disrespectful teen. In the end I think Ibmade myself look worse by being baited.

Telling a kid you will break his bones if he disrespects you is GUARANTEED to make him disrespect you more. That is not the way to speak to anyone, and it is not at all what I would call forgiving. Teenagers do stupid shit. ALL teenagers. If you were truly forgiving, you would come up with some sort of consequence that is not a threat of violence and is not a knee jerk response uttered in anger. It is your job as the adult to find a consequence that helps him adjust his behavior and respect you. What you did -- that will make him distrust and disrespect you.

Did you see the part where he says he regrets this?

No one is perfect, Lotus. We all have bad moments. The fact he is openly talking about it and receptive to support and advice tells you he isnt some cold abusive monster. He knows it wasnt the right thing to do.

Why not give him some productive advice instead of just beating him down over it? Give him some things he could do in future that will help.

I'm sure you've have less than admirable moments as a parent. We all have.

 

[Dove]

I did mention that I regretted that and shouldn't have done it even if he had threatened to hit me. I allowed myself to be baited and over reacted. I have to own that part of the guilt. I do feel he also has to own his part in what he said and did.

I have proposed a family meeting to resolve the situation and make sure everyone is on the same page, myself included, about how we expect people to behave and act towards each other. My wife wants to wait a day or two to let things blow over and I want to make sure that she and I are on the same page about how to handle situations in the future.

Do you have any productive suggestions?

Weekly family meetings are awesome. Make it a habit.

Consistency is key! And keep in mind all human beings just want to be loved, supported and validated. I'm sure the people in your life you respect the most are ones who made that effort for you. Sounds like this kid has been through a lot, and at a young age....and likely has a chip on his shoulder because of it.

 

[Blazor]

I did mention that I regretted that and shouldn't have done it even if he had threatened to hit me. I allowed myself to be baited and over reacted. I have to own that part of the guilt. I do feel he also has to own his part in what he said and did.

I have proposed a family meeting to resolve the situation and make sure everyone is on the same page, myself included, about how we expect people to behave and act towards each other. My wife wants to wait a day or two to let things blow over and I want to make sure that she and I are on the same page about how to handle situations in the future.

Do you have any productive suggestions?

I still think you would do better taking him on your own to talk. With his mom around, he knows she will side with him.

Worst that could happen is you both come back from your adventure laughing and hugging and both of y'all having black eyes hahahaha.

IF, y'all decide to do the family circle approach, I like Dove's idea of the object holding. The Native Americans did that, they would sit in a circle, and whoever held the feather, was the one to speak, without interruption.

Waiting a day or two, might be fine, but dont let it boil and fester, I would do it soon as possible.

 

[LotusBud]

I did mention that I regretted that and shouldn't have done it even if he had threatened to hit me. I allowed myself to be baited and over reacted. I have to own that part of the guilt. I do feel he also has to own his part in what he said and did.

I have proposed a family meeting to resolve the situation and make sure everyone is on the same page, myself included, about how we expect people to behave and act towards each other. My wife wants to wait a day or two to let things blow over and I want to make sure that she and I are on the same page about how to handle situations in the future.

Do you have any productive suggestions?

Yes. When you have the meeting, try to offer a little more give and take. Tell him in a calm way without threatening him or laying down the law why you think coming to dinner on time is important to you. Stay calm throughout the meeting and don't deliver ultimatums. Ask him what things are most important to him and do some sort of negotiation that gives each of you what you want. You want him to come to dinner on time, he wants you to ___________. What sort of agreement can you reach that gives each of you something?

And I agree with Blazor that you might take him somewhere and have some bonding time. Tell him how much his mother means to you, and apologize. I cannot stress enough the power of being able to actually say the words "I'm sorry." And don't get mad if he doesn't give you what you want right away. Teenagers are not very logical. They can't help it. Their brains are not fully developed and their hormones are out of control. Give him time. He is making a LOT of intense life adjustments right now. It's scary for him, though he may never admit that. Be prepared to be irritated by him, maybe a lot. Try to let it go as much as possible and just keep stressing your desire to have a peaceful and mutually respectful household.

 

[Oerdin]

Dove: That is a good idea. I will propose that to my wife.

 

[Dove]

I did mention that I regretted that and shouldn't have done it even if he had threatened to hit me. I allowed myself to be baited and over reacted. I have to own that part of the guilt. I do feel he also has to own his part in what he said and did.

I have proposed a family meeting to resolve the situation and make sure everyone is on the same page, myself included, about how we expect people to behave and act towards each other. My wife wants to wait a day or two to let things blow over and I want to make sure that she and I are on the same page about how to handle situations in the future.

Do you have any productive suggestions?

I still think you would do better taking him on your own to talk. With his mom around, he knows she will side with him.

Worst that could happen is you both come back from your adventure laughing and hugging and both of y'all having black eyes hahahaha.

IF, y'all decide to do the family circle approach, I like Dove's idea of the object holding. The Native Americans did that, they would sit in a circle, and whoever held the feather, was the one to speak, without interruption.

Waiting a day or two, might be fine, but dont let it boil and fester, I would do it soon as possible.

Aaaahhh you get it.

My oldest daughter is native, tribe registered. Its something I learned from her awesome grandmother. I was invited to a reservation with her and got to participate in a sweat.

The whole concept of a family circle came from that lol. I didnt start doing it until much later though. Its It's all about modeling and building strong relationships.

 

[Blazor]

I did mention that I regretted that and shouldn't have done it even if he had threatened to hit me. I allowed myself to be baited and over reacted. I have to own that part of the guilt. I do feel he also has to own his part in what he said and did.

I have proposed a family meeting to resolve the situation and make sure everyone is on the same page, myself included, about how we expect people to behave and act towards each other. My wife wants to wait a day or two to let things blow over and I want to make sure that she and I are on the same page about how to handle situations in the future.

Do you have any productive suggestions?

Weekly family meetings are awesome. Make it a habit.

Consistency is key! And keep in mind all human beings just want to be loved, supported and validated. I'm sure the people in your life you respect the most are ones who made that effort for you. Sounds like this kid has been through a lot, and at a young age....and likely has a chip on his shoulder because of it.

I always tried to make time, to sit and talk with my son. Sometimes prolly too much, sometimes prolly not often enough. Im glad I was able to raise my son. We often went on adventures in the Jeep, just me and him, with his lil remote control Jeep lol. Was great bonding time. Later on it became gun shooting lol.

My one friend, his dad would take walks with him, once a week, and talk. He had a brother, so they took turns walking. One on one helps a lot I think.

While the family meeting habit sounds good, I dont think his stepson is open to that yet, but I could be wrong. Right now, his stepson has it in his head, "this motherfucker thinks hes gonna tell me what to do, and take all mom's attention away from me".

My son also hated my last gf, but she never told him what to do or anything, yet my son still hated her. Never disrespected her though. But when she genuinely cared about him, I could tell his "hate spell" would be broken, and a smile would come out.

 

[LotusBud]

I would also add, show interest in his life, his needs, etc. Kids need to feel seen. Be prepared to give more than you will get from him until he is older.

 

[Blazor]

I did mention that I regretted that and shouldn't have done it even if he had threatened to hit me. I allowed myself to be baited and over reacted. I have to own that part of the guilt. I do feel he also has to own his part in what he said and did.

I have proposed a family meeting to resolve the situation and make sure everyone is on the same page, myself included, about how we expect people to behave and act towards each other. My wife wants to wait a day or two to let things blow over and I want to make sure that she and I are on the same page about how to handle situations in the future.

Do you have any productive suggestions?

I still think you would do better taking him on your own to talk. With his mom around, he knows she will side with him.

Worst that could happen is you both come back from your adventure laughing and hugging and both of y'all having black eyes hahahaha.

IF, y'all decide to do the family circle approach, I like Dove's idea of the object holding. The Native Americans did that, they would sit in a circle, and whoever held the feather, was the one to speak, without interruption.

Waiting a day or two, might be fine, but dont let it boil and fester, I would do it soon as possible.

Aaaahhh you get it.

My oldest daughter is native, tribe registered. Its something I learned from her awesome grandmother. I was invited to a reservation with her and got to participate in a sweat.

The whole concept of a family circle came from that lol. I didnt start doing it until much later though. Its It's all about modeling and building strong relationships.

Ha! Awesome!

I know Im part Native American. Thought it was Cherokee all my life, so I tried to learn things. Like some of the language, songs, and habits. Later my one aunt said it was Sioux. Who fucking knows, but I know Im a smidge Injun lol.

 

[Dove]

Dove: That is a good idea. I will propose that to my wife.

People fuck up all over the place because that's what people do.

We have to allow for that. It's the people that double down and lay blame on everyone else, to extreme lengths where everything they do is right....and if something they do is not right, they blame the other person for "making them" do it so they are still right.

If you were on here blaming the kid entirely and elevating yourself or making it "good guys and bad guys" where you are always the good guy, that would be much different. That's what truly cruel narcissistic people do.

You probably beat yourself up enough lol.

You are gonna butt heads with this kid with the dynamic you are describing. The best thing you can do is make a strong effort to build a relationship with him just human to human. Really get to know him, let him know you......and head off conflicts like this by encouraging the kids positive qualities and strengths on regular days.

That make sense? Like when he accomplishes something or handles a situation well or does something kind or talented or selfless, notice it....compliment him. Make sure not all of your interactions come with criticism.

Really this a good way to navigate all your relationships. Everyone is reward driven. That's why true capitalism is the best lol.

 

[Dove]

I did mention that I regretted that and shouldn't have done it even if he had threatened to hit me. I allowed myself to be baited and over reacted. I have to own that part of the guilt. I do feel he also has to own his part in what he said and did.

I have proposed a family meeting to resolve the situation and make sure everyone is on the same page, myself included, about how we expect people to behave and act towards each other. My wife wants to wait a day or two to let things blow over and I want to make sure that she and I are on the same page about how to handle situations in the future.

Do you have any productive suggestions?

Weekly family meetings are awesome. Make it a habit.

Consistency is key! And keep in mind all human beings just want to be loved, supported and validated. I'm sure the people in your life you respect the most are ones who made that effort for you. Sounds like this kid has been through a lot, and at a young age....and likely has a chip on his shoulder because of it.

I always tried to make time, to sit and talk with my son. Sometimes prolly too much, sometimes prolly not often enough. Im glad I was able to raise my son. We often went on adventures in the Jeep, just me and him, with his lil remote control Jeep lol. Was great bonding time. Later on it became gun shooting lol.

My one friend, his dad would take walks with him, once a week, and talk. He had a brother, so they took turns walking. One on one helps a lot I think.

While the family meeting habit sounds good, I dont think his stepson is open to that yet, but I could be wrong. Right now, his stepson has it in his head, "this motherfucker thinks hes gonna tell me what to do, and take all mom's attention away from me".

My son also hated my last gf, but she never told him what to do or anything, yet my son still hated her. Never disrespected her though. But when she genuinely cared about him, I could tell his "hate spell" would be broken, and a smile would come out.

See I dont think it's ever too soon, even if the kid wont whole heartedly participate right away, the exposure and consistency of it and seeing it's a safe place to talk can help get him coming around and participating more.

Even if he thinks its lame as fuck right away, eventually he will start getting more comfortable with it.

Clearly forcing participation is counterproductive but if its consistent and positive.....the more they'll relax and participate.

Nothing gets immediate results and it's never a smooth transition. It just takes time and consistency. And him building a relationship with the step son.

 

[Oerdin]

I am going to try to build a relationship with him but at 17 years old I can help but feel I am starting very late in the process. Especially as he has been living with his elderly grandparents for years where he was more of a caregiver than a child. Originally, he did not want to come here when my wife and younger stepson came and now he really only came here because he had no choice.

So, looking at things from his point of view that is some massive changes in the last 2-3 months especially as he was used to pretty much doing whatever he wanted without much adult supervision. He naturally will wonder who I am and why I am telling him to do things even if it is just rarely. I am out of my depth on this and will attempt to take time and get to know him hoping that maybe he will eventually come around.

 

[Dove]

I am going to try o bud a relationship with him but at 17 years old I can help but feel I am starting very late in the process. Especially as he has been living with his elderly grandparents for years where he was more of a caregiver than a child. Originally, he did not want to come here when my wife and younger stepson came and now he really only came here because he had no choice.

So, looking at things from his point of view that is some massive changes in the last 2-3 months especially as he was used to pretty much doing whatever he wanted without much adult supervision. He naturally will wonder who I am and why I am telling him to do things even if it is just rarely. I am out of my depth on this and will attempt to take time and get to know him hoping that maybe he will eventually come around.

That's the best you can do. Make a strong effort to build a relationship.

Probably expect to get rejected a lot lol. Dont get frustrated or over personalize it. He probably sees you as a sort of intruder.

Gotta break through that him vs you thing and shift it to show him you are HIS allie and advocate. That you are not going anywhere, and you are on his team as a family.

If he didnt want to be there to begin with his, he likely has a lot of resentment about it.

 

[Blazor]

Next time he says hes gonna kick your ass, say "at what? Fortnite? Bitch I know King Martini!" hahahahaa

only joking lol

 

[Scrawny The Ghost]

Why would you say that? How is it bullying to have basic ground rules and not to accept bad behavior? The 17 year old wanted to do what he did for the last three days namely play video games and ignore everyone else.

Your ground rules are stupid if your gonna flip out and physically confront someone over being late to dinner. I got my own place when I was that age because I was unable to live with either of my parents and they were not strict at all and even smoked weed with me, we just couldn't get along.

Now I can play video games all day, ignore everyone and eat dinner at midnight and nobody can tell me shit.

That kid needs some $$$$$

 

[Oerdin]

Did you miss the part where he threatened to hit me? That is what I flipped out about.

 

[LotusBud]

I am going to try to build a relationship with him but at 17 years old I can help but feel I am starting very late in the process. Especially as he has been living with his elderly grandparents for years where he was more of a caregiver than a child. Originally, he did not want to come here when my wife and younger stepson came and now he really only came here because he had no choice.

So, looking at things from his point of view that is some massive changes in the last 2-3 months especially as he was used to pretty much doing whatever he wanted without much adult supervision. He naturally will wonder who I am and why I am telling him to do things even if it is just rarely. I am out of my depth on this and will attempt to take time and get to know him hoping that maybe he will eventually come around.

It may seem like he's too old, but he's still a kid, and all kids need love and understanding. They especially need it in the place where they live, or they will be miserable. Do what you can. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Children are very hard work. But they help you learn to be selfless. That's a valuable lesson to learn.

 

[Holliday Unchained]

Did you miss the part where he threatened to hit me? That is what I flipped out about.

Please remember - he is hispanic.
They are very emotional people
unlike you who is cold and lacking the warmth of hyperemotionalism.
You simply can not understand
but must accept.

 

[Oerdin]

I don't think you know about any of us or our level of emotions.

 

[Holliday Unchained]

I don't think you know about any of us or our level of emotions.

Oh, but I do, Mr Neggystink.

Those who can not think
. emote.

 

[Oerdin]

It is me facing a mouthy and disobedient teen stepson.

You can kick this punks ass right, why are you on here whining? Violence violence, it's the only thing that will make them see sense, violence.

.Sounds like he married an illegal. That makes it tough.
Probably the best thing to do is shoot and run at this stage.
. Or...maybe try to recall what a disrespectful fuck he was at 17.
. It's normal for a son to challenge the father in some way at that age.
. Maybe a game of basketball, or a fishing contest.
Of course it may be more complicated since not the biological father.
.Did the kid know the dad, or have no memory?

My wife was never an illegal. When we got married she lived in Panama and we started the legal immigration process. I explained the situation with the bio dad after your post but just above this post.

Leftists think every immigrant is illegal and that if you are right leaning you hate immigrants

They have no grasp of the issue whatsoever. Total slaves to their hateful stereotypes of others.

Well, we are certainly seeing this out of Holliday. Lots of stereotypes, not much thinking, and his usual hate dance.

 

[Admin.]

It is me facing a mouthy and disobedient teen stepson.

You can kick this punks ass right, why are you on here whining? Violence violence, it's the only thing that will make them see sense, violence.

.Sounds like he married an illegal. That makes it tough.
Probably the best thing to do is shoot and run at this stage.
. Or...maybe try to recall what a disrespectful fuck he was at 17.
. It's normal for a son to challenge the father in some way at that age.
. Maybe a game of basketball, or a fishing contest.
Of course it may be more complicated since not the biological father.
.Did the kid know the dad, or have no memory?

My wife was never an illegal. When we got married she lived in Panama and we started the legal immigration process. I explained the situation with the bio dad after your post but just above this post.

Leftists think every immigrant is illegal and that if you are right leaning you hate immigrants

They have no grasp of the issue whatsoever. Total slaves to their hateful stereotypes of others.

Well, we are certainly seeing this out of Holliday. Lots of stereotypes, not much thinking, and his usual hate dance.