I Love You Martini, But You Gotta Stop...

[wizer]

Airclaims abound...did you learn that in eyeball school too?

No, in eyeball school I learned that when a really fat person comes in to your exam room before they sit in the chair, release the arms and raise them or else the person may get stuck.

Did you ever notice when you go to a doctor the arms of the chair are up? Now you know why.

 

[Lily]

No, in eyeball school I learned that when a really fat person comes in to your exam room before they sit in the chair, release the arms and raise them or else the person may get stuck.

Did you ever notice when you go to a doctor the arms of the chair are up? Now you know why.

That's awfully peevish. You sound upset.

It's a good thing you're an eyeball doctor, I mean how would you know how to use the chair properly otherwise?

 

[wizer]

That's awfully peevish. You sound upset.

It's a good thing you're an eyeball doctor, I mean how would you know how to use the chair properly otherwise?

I learned on the job @Lily. But you already know this, and you know I'm right about the arms of the chair.

I bet as you read my post, the lightbulb came on, even though you didn't want it to.

Anecdotal story.

A fat person did actually get stuck in between the arms of the chair once. By the time the paramedics got her using the jaws of life, we had already canceled the next two patients. She could have been your sister for all I know.

 

[Lily]

I learned on the job @Lily. But you already know this, and you know I'm right about the arms of the chair.

I bet as you read my post, the lightbulb came on, even though you didn't want it to.

Anecdotal story.

A fat person did actually get stuck in between the arms of the chair once. By the time the paramedics got her using the jaws of life, we had already canceled the next two patients. She could have been your sister for all I know.

Where did you practice? Was it in California?

There are only two fat women in America, right? Myself and my sister, and you met us both.

I can see why you didn't make it to medical school...

 

[wizer]

Where did you practice? Was it in California?

There are only two fat women in America, right? Myself and my sister, and you met us both.

I can see why you didn't make it to medical school...

Why would you ask me if I practiced in California?

Sort of an oddball question and I'll answer it if you tell me why you asked it.

 

[Lily]

Why would you ask me if I practiced in California?

Sort of an oddball question and I'll answer it if you tell me why you asked it.

To have met my sister, you would have to have practiced in CA, duh.

 

[wizer]

Then it wasn't your sister.

 

[Frood]

No, she's not.

She has a doctorate, but she's also not really a doctor.

Only douchey people that aren't actually doctors take the title seriously.. Yes, they are out there.

Somebody should have pulled Jill up when she was demanding others refer to her as Dr.....


Lol

 

[Lily]

Somebody should have pulled Jill up when she was demanding others refer to her as Dr.....


Lol

Yeah, embarrassing.

My boss was a doctor, I called her by her first name. I respected her as a professional and as a person, but she didn't stand on titles. She was fairly well-grounded, imo.

 

[wizer]

Yeah, embarrassing.

My boss was a doctor, I called her by her first name. I respected her as a professional and as a person, but she didn't stand on titles. She was fairly well-grounded, imo.

Well yeah, my staff called me by my first name as well, but not in front of the patients. In front of them they would say "the douchebag over there who calls himself doctor will see you now".

At first I didn't like it very much but I sort of got used to it towards the end.

 

[Lily]

Well yeah, my staff called me by my first name as well, but not in front of the patients. In front of them they would say "the douchebag over there who calls himself doctor will see you now".

At first I didn't like it very much but I sort of got used to it towards the end.

I remember after a conversation I was having with her about some health topic she said to me:

"You should have gone to medical school." She was an internist by training. I knew to her it was a compliment, but I can't handle oozing, blood, and bad smells...nothing much more could gross me out.

I just smiled and made some noncommittal comment. I know I had her respect. And she went to Stanford as an undergrad and Yale for medical school...she wasn't an intellectual lightweight.

 

[Fredricka]

Its just a jumble of letters and numbers

 

[Blandscape]

You know that you mean the world to me, but I cannot sit back and watch this fiasco any longer. Martini, dear, no one is going to come running to read any of the garbage here, or any of the posters. There's absolutely no redeeming value in any of this. It's like eating cotton candy all day without the sugar. I think it's very sweet you think grown ups and young adults would find this entertaining, but stop. No one in their right mind would spend the their evening reading admin's last gasps of homosexual insanity, as he tries to stuff as many cocks as he can down his throat.

This lot is hopeless. The problem is there are no posters in their 20's, everyone here are old fucks. I guess that's a good thing, seeing that admin and rancidpervo-O reside here.

That there Poofter isn’t still selling the same ol’snake oil is he? I likes dat about him.

 

[wizer]

I remember after a conversation I was having with her about some health topic she said to me:

"You should have gone to medical school." She was an internist by training. I knew to her it was a compliment, but I can't handle oozing, blood, and bad smells...nothing much more could gross me out.

I just smiled and made some noncommittal comment. I know I had her respect. And she went to Stanford as an undergrad and Yale for medical school...she wasn't an intellectual lightweight.

You sort of get used to it. Or, when you experience it, you find it's not nearly as bad as you expected.

They had us working with cadavers in eye doctor school. Yeah, you're probably thinking, what's an optometrist need cadavers for. Well, they needed to fill a 4 year curriculum and keep the professors employed.

Anyway if someone told me I'd be looking inside dead body cavities and picking up sawed off pieces of heads with brains on one side and a moustache on the other (not kidding) I would have freaked out.

But when you do it, there's nothing to it.

 

[Blandscape]

Poofy is one of my favourites…he reminds us all that a cautionary fail is still pertinent in the context of our own modernity!

 

[Jack]

Poofy is one of my favourites…he reminds us all that a cautionary fail is still pertinent in the context of our own modernity!

dont forget to vote!

 

[Lily]

You sort of get used to it. Or, when you experience it, you find it's not nearly as bad as you expected.

They had us working with cadavers in eye doctor school. Yeah, you're probably thinking, what's an optometrist need cadavers for. Well, they needed to fill a 4 year curriculum and keep the professors employed.

Anyway if someone told me I'd be looking inside dead body cavities and picking up sawed off pieces of heads with brains on one side and a moustache on the other (not kidding) I would have freaked out.

But when you do it, there's nothing to it.

Maybe you're right. I actually don't think it's quite right that you have to 4 years of optometry, podiatry or even dental school to function as eye doctors, podiatrists or dentists.

Seems like a scam. I say a bachelor's and two year programs would do the job. US medicine has a tight lid on what anyone that's not an MD can do.

Did you have to do internship and residency as well?

 

[Blandscape]

Maybe you're right. I actually don't think it's quite right that you have to 4 years of optometry, podiatry or even dental school to function as eye doctors, podiatrists or dentists.

Seems like a scam. I say a bachelor's and two year programs would do the job. US medicine has a tight lid on what anyone that's not an MD can do.

Did you have to do internship and residency as well?

The perneous longus can take quite a while to study and master lass, and there are plenty more tender tendons in the foot that can end up in the mouth.

 

[wizer]

Did you have to do internship and residency as well?

Only an internship. Choice of working in a hospital or clinic for 6 months during the 4th year.

The entire curriculum could have been condensed to 1 or 2 years. How to flip lenses, fit contact lenses, how to diagnose ocular pathology and how to either treat or refer a few dozen eye conditions that you're likely to run into during 30 years of practice. Child's play, really. No wonder it's become such a popular profession. That much said, I don't miss it.

 

[Lily]

Only an internship. Choice of working in a hospital or clinic for 6 months during the 4th year.

The entire curriculum could have been condensed to 1 or 2 years. How to flip lenses, fit contact lenses, how to diagnose ocular pathology and how to either treat or refer a few dozen eye conditions that you're likely to run into during 30 years of practice. Child's play, really. No wonder it's become such a popular profession. That much said, I don't miss it.

I experienced optic neuritis during my 20s. My gp, referred me to an opthalmologist, who then referred me to a neurologic ophthalmologist. I had severe headaches just over my eyes, and a bit of blindness in the bottom of my left eye for a while. It wasn't noticeable to me, until I saw the eye test result.

Long story short, it resolved itself and there was literally nothing they could do beyond testing with a spinal tap to see whether I had an auto immune disease. Ophthalmologist followed me for several years.

But I recovered my eye sight loss fairly quickly and it never came up again. I think the kind of episodes I had are not that common. I don't know for sure, but that's my guess.

 

[Jack]

Only an internship. Choice of working in a hospital or clinic for 6 months during the 4th year.

The entire curriculum could have been condensed to 1 or 2 years. How to flip lenses, fit contact lenses, how to diagnose ocular pathology and how to either treat or refer a few dozen eye conditions that you're likely to run into during 30 years of practice. Child's play, really. No wonder it's become such a popular profession. That much said, I don't miss it.

When my first dog passed I developed a cranial 3rd nerve infarction. Gave me double vision and made the left half of my face melt like Bells Palsy.

The opthamologist that diagnosed my glaucoma was a big help, but it actually resolved on its own as well eventually.

 

[wizer]

I experienced optic neuritis during my 20s.

Optic neuritis can be idiopathic (no known cause) and are more often associated with MS.

If you were going to get MS you'd likely have symptoms by now.

 

[wizer]

When my first dog passed I developed a cranial 3rd nerve infarction. Gave me double vision and made the left half of my face melt like Bells Palsy.

The opthamologist that diagnosed my glaucoma was a big help, but it actually resolved on its own as well eventually.

Glaucoma doesn't self resolve though. It's either chronic and requires eye drops forever or it's acute and needs surgical intervention which typically cures it.

I'm also not understanding the connection between the passing of your dog and the cranial 3rd nerve infarction unless you were incredibly stressed out, your blood pressure went through the roof and there was a break in a blood vessel that caused temporary loss of blood to a vital nerve that controlled an eye muscle.

 

[Lily]

Optic neuritis can be idiopathic (no known cause) and are more often associated with MS.

If you were going to get MS you'd likely have symptoms by now.

Yep, that's what my ophthalmologist said. It just happened, then unhappened.

 

[Lily]

Glaucoma doesn't self resolve though. It's either chronic and requires eye drops forever or it's acute and needs surgical intervention which typically cures it.

I'm also not understanding the connection between the passing of your dog and the cranial 3rd nerve infarction unless you were incredibly stressed out, your blood pressure went through the roof and there was a break in a blood vessel that caused temporary loss of blood to a vital nerve that controlled an eye muscle.

I didn't get that connection either. I no longer question his thought processes and logic. It's just Jack the Hack.

 

[wizer]

Yep, that's what my ophthalmologist said. It just happened, then unhappened.

As long as you don't get any weird symptoms, no matter how minor, that you brush off because you've gotten used to them and you don't give it much thought.

They can include (but are not limited to):

-double vision when it's really hot such as in a shower
-weakness in extremeties
-tingling or numbness in extremeties
-need to argue with perfect strangers on obscure internet discussion forums

 

[Lily]

As long as you don't get any weird symptoms, no matter how minor, that you brush off because you've gotten used to them and you don't give it much thought.

They can include (but are not limited to):

-double vision when it's really hot such as in a shower
-weakness in extremeties
-tingling or numbness in extremeties
-need to argue with perfect strangers on obscure internet discussion forums

Uh oh...

 

[wizer]

I didn't get that connection either. I no longer question his thought processes and logic. It's just Jack the Hack.

Stress can do all sorts of crazy things to a person.

The blood pressure theory would explain it but that's just a guess.

 

[Dove]

No, in eyeball school I learned that when a really fat person comes in to your exam room before they sit in the chair, release the arms and raise them or else the person may get stuck.

Did you ever notice when you go to a doctor the arms of the chair are up? Now you know why.

I have zero issue with how i dont know fuck all about what program one would recieve the doctrate you earned.

So fuck yeah ill call it eyeball school. We all understand that.

I also know absolutely everyone who has a doctrate has the title "doctor".

 

[wizer]

Uh oh...

It was that last one, right?

My sympathies. I have an opening next Tuesday at 1 pm.

Tell them you're here to see the fake doctor.