Bastard Factory Forums Vs Jack (Docket #61255-7784)

Flynn · 2026-09-24T05:56:52-0600

Garraty_47 said:
I am not and will not be president dammit but I can be the bailiff for these proceedings.

<ahem>

Listen up, screwheads.
This court is now in session. We'll start the festivities by having the AG formally read out the charges, followed by the presentation of the prosecution's case, after which the defense can have a go.

On your marks... get set... TRIAL!

Then who the fuck is going to be the damn judge and make rulings in these proceedings? :OhGawd:

Flynn · 2026-09-24T05:57:44-0600

Cookie Monster said:
Hey retard, ai has more different quality between types than price differences and I do subs to one. Tried 5 and this one best to date.

"

Well isn't that good to know.

You are drunk again right?

So I had a typo coconut head, so sue me.

Cookie Monster · 2026-09-24T06:21:44-0600

Flynn said:
So I had a typo coconut head, so sue me.

Typo? Looks like a fucking avalanche from here Toots.

I bet you are stood up and bent over doing the Fentanyl dance right now yes?

Flynn · 2026-09-24T06:30:00-0600

Cookie Monster said:
Typo? Looks like a fucking avalanche from here Toots.

I bet you are stood up and bent over doing the Fentanyl dance right now yes?

You're kidding me, right?

Must I pull up some of your braindead posts where you're making absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever?

Fentanyl? Dude, you're the one on parole and living at a clean and sober house. Give me a break Howdy Doody.

Garraty_47 · 2026-09-24T09:58:38-0600

Flynn said:
Then who the fuck is going to be the damn judge and make rulings in these proceedings?

If you fuckheads want me to be a judge stop tying it to the "president" nonsense.

That's not a thing.

I'd say let the "president" do the honors but that would be, ah, ...jack.

Clear conflict of interest. lulz

Alfred E. Neutrump · 2026-09-24T13:20:51-0600

Garraty_47 said:
If you fuckheads want me to be a judge stop tying it to the "president" nonsense.

That's not a thing.

I'd say let the "president" do the honors but that would be, ah, ...jack.

Clear conflict of interest. lulz

And not enough bribery going on.

Reggie_Essent · 2026-09-24T13:27:09-0600

I was going to start on my opening statement outlining all of tiny @jack 's horrible forum crimes, but I ended up writing a story about Juli's Hoo Ha insted.

Alfred E. Neutrump · 2026-09-24T13:30:35-0600

Reggie_Essent said:
I was going to start on my opening statement outlining all of tiny @jack 's horrible forum crimes, but I ended up writing a story about Juli's Hoo Ha insted.

Why don't you do your doctoral dissertation on hemorrhoids?

jack · 2026-09-24T13:54:58-0600

Alfred E. Neutrump said:
Why don't you do your doctoral dissertation on hemorrhoids?

Fuck, that would be a novel in his case.

The Cuntess · 2026-09-24T13:56:03-0600

CUT THE BULLSHIT CHIT CHAT AND START PROSECUTING THIS PIECE IF SHIT

Flynn · 2026-09-24T14:18:45-0600

Garraty_47 said:
If you fuckheads want me to be a judge stop tying it to the "president" nonsense.

That's not a thing.

I'd say let the "president" do the honors but that would be, ah, ...jack.

Clear conflict of interest. lulz

Yes, CLEAR CONFLICT OF INTEREST.

Anyways, @jack would only fuck up the proceedings by attacking Fred from the bench anytime he could, so no.

The Cuntess · 2026-09-25T13:32:29-0600

Being a creepy old man is another charge

X · 2026-09-25T13:35:14-0600

Garraty_47 · 2026-09-25T14:55:29-0600

If I *am* going to be the judge for this thing I need a bailiff (volunteers appreciated) because I'm almost 100% certain a few of the peanut gallery and maybe even one or more of the principals or their counsel are going to require assboxing for contempt of court.

Once that's sorted would someone, anyone, please present the official list of charges and let's get this thing moving; Flynn has a thing to attend a year from now and I'd hate for her to miss any of the proceedings.

Flynn · 2026-09-25T15:00:31-0600

Flynn · 2026-09-25T15:04:02-0600

A continuance has been granted. As AG, proceedings will start promptly this Monday. All counsel please have your opening arguments ready.

@Fredricka shall be the bailiff.

Garraty_47 · 2026-09-25T15:05:42-0600

Flynn said:

Fine fine fine... I'll allow the faulty "Trial Date" assignation only with the understanding that future documents will reflect reality rather than wishful thinking.

Now where the fuck is my bailiff?

Holliday 3000 · 2026-09-25T15:10:28-0600

Garraty_47 said:
I am not and will not be president dammit

^^^ Will someone assassinate this guy and let's move on, please.^^^

Reggie_Essent · 2026-09-25T15:10:53-0600

Flynn said:
A continuance has been granted. As AG, proceedings will start promptly this Monday. All counsel please have your opening arguments ready.

@Fredricka shall be the bailiff.

So, it's this Monday I'll be convicting tiny @jack of all his forum crimes then?

Hmmmm ... lot's a Assbaggery in that charging list. This should be a cakewalk.

And who are the Jurors again? I need to know who to suck up to.

Garraty_47 · 2026-09-25T15:18:00-0600

Reggie_Essent said:
And who are the Jurors again? I need to know who to suck up to.

Our default poll-maker is asleep at the switch.

If her plate is too full she ought to delegate that task or throw it out to anyone who can be bothered.

Reggie_Essent · 2026-09-25T15:27:31-0600

Garraty_47 said:
Our default poll-maker is asleep at the switch.

If her plate is too full she ought to delegate that task or throw it out to anyone who can be bothered.

Well, she was having a bit of a binge for old times sake. A round of all night poasting can be really tiring.

No worries. We'll wing it, but will need to have a Jury seated for a proper conviction.

Flynn · 2026-09-25T15:31:21-0600

Garraty_47 said:
Our default poll-maker is asleep at the switch.

If her plate is too full she ought to delegate that task or throw it out to anyone who can be bothered.

Ahem...

...as I mentioned previously I would make a poll as soon as we're near the end of the arguments. If I put up a poll now, idiots like Alfred E. Nerdtump will spam it.

Understand now?

Flynn · 2026-09-25T15:33:38-0600

Garraty_47 said:
Fine fine fine... I'll allow the faulty "Trial Date" assignation only with the understanding that future documents will reflect reality rather than wishful thinking.

Now where the fuck is my bailiff?

The trial date was correct. It was you clowns acting like the Federal Government by taking vacations, going on outings, and generally being useless.

Flynn · 2026-09-25T15:34:54-0600

Reggie_Essent said:
So, it's this Monday I'll be convicting tiny @jack of all his forum crimes then?

Hmmmm ... lot's a Assbaggery in that charging list. This should be a cakewalk.

And who are the Jurors again? I need to know who to suck up to.

As far as jurors go, I thought you guys had that figured out?

Garraty_47 · 2026-09-25T15:38:58-0600

Flynn said:
Ahem...

...as I mentioned previously I would make a poll as soon as we're near the end of the arguments. If I put up a poll now, idiots like Alfred E. Nerdtump will spam it.

Understand now?

I get it, and I suppose that kinda works in a forum environment, but I can't quite get over how weird it is to seat a jury *after* starting the trial.

To me that feels like setting up a big presentation for your boss then starting a half hour before the boss is scheduled to arrive.

Besides: that's what the bailiff is for... to keep the proceedings orderly. I don't see why their duties couldn't include the jury selection poll.

Reggie_Essent · 2026-09-25T17:15:11-0600

Garraty_47 said:
I get it, and I suppose that kinda works in a forum environment, but I can't quite get over how weird it is to seat a jury *after* starting the trial.

To me that feels like setting up a big presentation for your boss then starting a half hour before the boss is scheduled to arrive.

Besides: that's what the bailiff is for... to keep the proceedings orderly. I don't see why their duties couldn't include the jury selection poll.

... Plus, Jury Selection is half the fun. When Rancid @THEONEANDONLYRANCIDMILKO™®© was put on Trial I think it took a week just to seat the Jury.

Bastard Factory Forums Vs Jack (Docket #61255-7784)

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What, me worry? No, I'm too sleepy.

PRESIDENT of Bastard Factory

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