Vaccine is bad juju

[cw_]

^

 

[The Prowler]

Good for you. I was talking to my daughter about this topic, she's 29. She's glad I stay in my lane and don't want to be her "buddy".

She still wants a mom.

"You cannot choose your parents, but you can choose your friends."

 

[Dove]

Good for you. I was talking to my daughter about this topic, she's 29. She's glad I stay in my lane and don't want to be her "buddy".

She still wants a mom.

I am not out of my lane nor am I my daughters "buddy".

Sorry your daughter doesn't want companionship with you. I get how that could hurt, but attacking other mothers and judging their happy relationships with their adult children isn't going to fix that.

Its really weird that you don't feel you can be a friend to your adult children while still being mom. Or that sharing stories from your high school days is our of your "lane".

 

[Lily]

I am not out of my lane nor am I my daughters "buddy".

Sorry your daughter doesn't want companionship with you. I get how that could hurt, but attacking other mothers and judging their happy relationships with their adult children isn't going to fix that.

Its really weird that you don't feel you can be a friend to your adult children while still being mom. Or that sharing stories from your high school days is our of your "lane".

My daughter and I spend several days a week together. We are great companions. She simply respects me as her mother and her son's, and soon to be daughter's, grandmother.

Have you ever thought that perhaps our culture is different? That respect for your elders, even among all the love and affection, has a component of respect. In our culture, we don't get drunk with our parents, we don't get high with our parents...it's just not done unless there is dysfunction. Dysfunctional people drink, get high, and do stupid shit with their kids in our culture.

I do share with my children, but I was raised to stay away from drugs and alcohol. I was raised to believe that only people that can't cope with reality need drugs. So, I don't have those stories to share because they didn't happen when I was a minor. Again, we respected our parents.

I didn't try weed and alcohol until I was off in college because I was young and free of parental oversight. I just didn't get into it. I have no regrets. I explored and it just wasn't my thing.

Don't mistake respect for our elders in our family for a lack of love. That would be stupid on your part.

eta: I hope/assume that among most Anglo Americans, it's also the norm.

 

[The Prowler]

Have you ever thought that perhaps our culture is different?

Hi.

Captain Obvious here.

Have you, Fat @Lily, ever thought that perhaps someone else's culture is different to your own before being a judgemental asshole and criticizing them?

 

[Lily]

Hi.

Captain Obvious here.

Have you, Fat @Lily, ever thought that perhaps someone else's culture is different to your own before being a judgemental asshole and criticizing them?

Hey asshat , you said this conflict isn't about you.

So piss off, dweeb.

 

[The Prowler]

Deflection Alert!!!

Hey asshat , you said this conflict isn't about you.

So piss off, dweeb.

Ask a tough question, get a cowardly reply.

Hahaha!!!

 

[Lily]

Deflection Alert!!!


Ask a tough question, get a cowardly reply.

Hahaha!!!

Not a tough question. Just pushing back on your constant bullshit.

You backed on using the "this isn't my conflict" now you're waffling, like the bitch that you are...bitch.

 

[The Prowler]

Not a tough question. Just pushing back on your constant bullshit.

You backed on using the "this isn't my conflict" now you're waffling, like the bitch that you are...bitch.

Then answer the question, Oak.

I made comments about you, referring to you in general.

That does not mean I cannot point out your incredible hypocrisy about something specific that you did.

 

[Lily]

Then answer the question, Oak.

I made comments about you, referring to you in general.

That does not mean I cannot point out your incredible hypocrisy about something specific that you did.

What hypocrisy is that angry man?

 

[The Prowler]

Have you ever thought that perhaps our culture is different?

Hi.

Captain Obvious here.

Have you, Fat @Lily, ever thought that perhaps someone else's culture is different to your own before being a judgemental asshole and criticizing them?

Figure it out, you fuckin' retard.

Hahahahaha!!!!

What a jOak!!!

 

[Lily]

Figure it out, you fuckin' retard.

Hahahahaha!!!!

What a jOak!!!

Yes, I guess druggie culture is a culture in itself. I stand corrected. I've never been a part of druggie culture.

 

[The Prowler]

Hahaha!!!

I can now bask in the glory of jOak pOwnnninnnggg!!!! herself with her judgemental insults.

She cannot help but demonstrate her hypocrisy!!!!

 

[Lily]

Hahaha!!!

I can now bask in the glory of jOak pOwnnninnnggg!!!! herself with her judgemental insults.

She cannot help but demonstrate her hypocrisy!!!!

I have known white people my entire life. I cannot say that it's "white culture" to talk with children about the good old drug days. It never happened among my white friends that I was ever aware of...none of their parents or my friends talked about it openly. It just didn't happen. I asked my partner if he ever drank, smoked, did drugs, etc with his dad or his kids. He raised his eyebrow at me and said "what the hell, who does that?" I said, no, it's nothing...I didn't believe you had.

Sorry, I have to put that under the "drug" culture umbrella.

 

[Dove]

I have known white people my entire life. I cannot say that it's "white culture" to talk with children about the good old drug days. It never happened among my white friends that I was ever aware of...none of their parents or my friends talked about it openly. It just didn't happen. I asked my partner if he ever drank, smoked, did drugs, etc with his dad or his kids. He raised his eyebrow at me and said "what the hell, who does that?" I said, no, it's nothing...I didn't believe you had.

Sorry, I have to put that under the "drug" culture umbrella.

Except no one was talking to children, you fucking doofus.

So in your culture, when is someone an adult? When they are 30?

That's fine for you and all if you infantize your kids until 30 but don't judge and condemn the rest of us who treat our adult children as adults.

And what's "druggie culture"? I showed them some 90s teen culture. So what?

So to you being a mother means what exactly? Because you are offended by other moms who foster grown up connections with their grown kids.

They come out and hang with ME. Does this mean they don't respect me as their mother because they enjoy spending time with me? Should I tell them "Hey....get the fuck outta here until you need some momming....I gotta stay in my lane!!"

Sorry, no. My relationship with my daughters is very important to me. They are not babies or children anymore and I value the connection I have with them as young women who still want me to be part of their inner life.

BOTH of my daughters have said I'm the best friend they will ever have. That is because they know they can come to me and I will always make the time for them and have their back and best interest.

I never get on their young adult level, ffs. You are going off like I'm one of those wackjobs who act like they are still in their 20s. If I was like that my daughters wouldn't WANT to hang out with me. They enjoy moments like that because they can't imagine me doing that stuff.

These kids tried to drag me to the damn hash bash and I definately sat that one out. I cannot handle crowds and the pot smoke and the rowdiness. Now my daughter is wanting me to go to some emo band concert with her and her two buddies and I'll be sitting that out as well.

That day I showed them how I used to make bongs out of plastic 20oz bottles....they had already been smoking out of my daughters water bong and they came out into the kitchen (you know....MY lane, right?) And wanted some snacks. So I made them some lunch (is that allowe?) and they were chatting me up. They'll sit and talk about school. Their dating adventures. Whatever friend group drama they have. They'll ask my input.

That day they were talking about that bong and how the one kid had one hidden when she was in high school (she's 21 and in college....Michigan State) and her parents took it and grounded her. She said it was hard to hide. And then she asked if I smoked weed in HS and if I ever got caught with a bong.

And I told her I did but back then it wasn't so easy to get glass bongs. That we mostly made bongs out of cans and bottles and potatos lol.

Then they begged me to show them how I made a bong out of a 20oz.

You act like I busted some 10 year olds slumber party and introduced them to drugs. "HEY kIDS! ....ever try the GANJA?! Here is how to make a bong!!"

I showed ADULTS, who can LEGALLY buy and consume a LEGAL substance....how kids in the 90s smoked it.

Have YOU ever enjoyed an alcoholic drink with your adult kids? If so, well you used drugs with your children. Js.

 

[Lily]

Except no one was talking to children, you fucking doofus.

So in your culture, when is someone an adult? When they are 30?

That's fine for you and all if you infantize your kids until 30 but don't judge and condemn the rest of us who treat our adult children as adults.

And what's "druggie culture"? I showed them some 90s teen culture. So what?

So to you being a mother means what exactly? Because you are offended by other moms who foster grown up connections with their grown kids.

They come out and hang with ME. Does this mean they don't respect me as their mother because they enjoy spending time with me?

BOTH of my daughters have said I'm the best friend they will ever have. That is because they know they can come to me and I will always make the time for them and have their back and best interest.

I never get on their young adult level, ffs. You are going off like I'm one of those wackjobs who act like they are still in their 20s. If I was like that my daughters wouldn't WANT to hang out with me.

These kids tried to drag me to the damn hash bash and I definately sat that one out. I cannot handle crowds and the pot smoke and the rowdiness. Now my daughter is wanting me to go to some emo band concert with her and her two buddies and I'll be sitting that out as well.

That day I showed them how I used to make bongs out of plastic 20oz bottles....they had already been smoking out of my daughters water bong and they came out into the kitchen (you know....MY lane, right?) And wanted some snacks. So I made them some lunch (is that allowe?) and they were chatting me up. They'll sit and talk about school. Their dating adventures. Whatever friend group drama they have. They'll ask my input.

That day they were talking about that bong and how the one kid had one hidden when she was in high school (she's 21 and in college....Michigan State) and her parents took it and grounded her. She said it was hard to hide. And then she asked if I smoked weed in HS and if I ever got caught with a bong.

And I told her I did but back then it wasn't so easy to get glass bongs. That we mostly made bongs out of cans and bottles and potatos lol.

Then they begged me to show them how I made a bong out of a 20oz.

You act like I busted some 10 year old slumber party and introduced them to drugs. "HEY kIDS! ....every try the GANJA?! Here is how to make a bong!!"

I showed ADULTS, who can LEGALLY buy and consume a LEGAL substance....how kids in the 90s smoked it.

Have YOU ever enjoyed an alcoholic drink with your adult kids? If so, well you used drugs with your children. Js.

Offspring are always our "children", adults included. We don't talk drugs/alcohol with our grandparents, our parents and they don't do it with us either.

It's just not done and I think that's pretty common.

 

[Kirk]

Well Erica Mena stated: "I don't give a fuck if the kids are elderly. You don't get high with your kids. It's a matter of respect."

So that ends this whole argument in my opinion.

 

[Lily]

Well Erica Mena stated: "I don't give a fuck if the kids are elderly. You don't get high with your kids. It's a matter of respect."

So that ends this whole argument in my opinion.

Exactly! Did she say that? I'm not really surprised. It's not okay, to get high with them or talk about the good old days of being a fucking idiot either.

 

[Dove]

Offspring are always our "children", adults included. We don't talk drugs/alcohol with our grandparents, our parents and they don't do it with us either.

It's just not done and I think that's pretty common.

Sure. I can call them my children. But they are NOT children.

And yes I'm aware the older generations didn't have conversations with their children regarding drugs, alcohol or sex.

I don't agree that has served young adults or society very well.

 

[Lily]

Sure. I can call them my children. But they are NOT children.

And yes I'm aware the older generations didn't have conversations with their children regarding drugs, alcohol or sex.

I don't agree that has served young adults or society very well.

There are conversations, but it's about the downside of drugs, sex and alcohol. It's not about how great it is and seeing where the country is with the drug problem, I don't see the upside of celebrating it at all.

And my parent's generation, the "silent" generation, the adult children wouldn't even drink a beer or smoke in their parents' presence.

 

[Dove]

Right just ditch our kids to navigate the difficult and potentially dangerous parts of life on their own with their equally ignorant friends.

Because maintaining some appearance of being above it all is much more important

My daughters make vastly better decisions than I made growing up. Are more responsible than I was. And also more educated than I was.

So that "let's never talk about this" didn't serve me very well. All I did was become very good at hiding and acting.

I would have had MORE respect for my grandma and aunt if they had had real discussions with me and showed they could relate to me.

Also....I heard plenty of stories about my grandma and aunt getting ripped drunk on their lunch break when they worked in thr factory during the war.

I have literally never heard this idea that it's wrong to talk about things you got up to in your youth with your adult children. I know anyone ....any other parent, who thinks that way.

 

[Kirk]

I am sure this will all become breaking news again on BC in a few hours.

 

[Lily]

Right just ditch our kids to navigate the difficult and potentially dangerous parts of life on their own with their equally ignorant friends.

Because maintaining some appearance of being above it all is much more important

My daughters make vastly better decisions than I made growing up. Are more responsible than I was. And also more educated than I was.

So that "let's never talk about this" didn't serve me very well. All I did was become very good at hiding and acting.

I would have had MORE respect for my grandma and aunt if they had had real discussions with me and showed they could relate to me.

Also....I heard plenty of stories about my grandma and aunt getting ripped drunk on their lunch break when they worked in thr factory during the war.

I have literally never heard this idea that it's wrong to talk about things you got up to in your youth with your adult children. I know anyone ....any other parent, who thinks that way.

I just finished saying that our parents talked about the downside of the "vices", if you will.

So, you weren't talking about how drugs impact the individual, the community or society in general. You were talking about your youthful indiscretions and yukking it up.

Those aren't the same type of discussions. You can spin all you want, but it's you with offspring that you are clearly very permissive with, it's just not the choice most parents make.

 

[Lily]

I am sure this will all become breaking news again on BC in a few hours.

I wonder why they care.

 

[Dove]

There are conversations, but it's about the downside of drugs, sex and alcohol. It's not about how great it is and seeing where the country is with the drug problem, I don't see the upside of celebrating it at all.

And my parent's generation, the "silent" generation, the adult children wouldn't even drink a beer or smoke in their parents' presence.

But those wouldn't be honest conversations.

There are also benefits to responsible use of some substances. Opiates included. And the REALITY is, people drink alcohol.

No amount of "drugs and alcohol are bad, mmkay? Just say no" or pretending you never touched it is going to make them never do any of it.

Addiction and self destructive behaviors are rampant. I'd rather my children (adult children) be connected with reality and know there are responsible and proper ways to enjoy things like pot and alcohol. Legal substances. At the legal age.

I'd much rather my daughters know they can come to me and be approaching a safe person in their life that will understand where they are.

I absolutely do not agree with shutting down certain topics or pretending I'm some saint. And I'm willing to bet my daughters respect me MORE because of that. They don't fear my disapproval or disgust over perfectly normal things that most people try at least once or twice.

When I know they are attending a party where they could chose to drink alcohol, they know I'd prefer they didn't but if they do, pace it....drink plenty of water, don't leave your drink unsupervised and do Moy hesitate to ask us to come and get you if you need to get outta there.

When my daughter was 16, she got wasted at a friend's party. Absolutely wasted. She had told me it was a get together. So she lied...she didn't tell me the parents were gone and it was a party.

She got drunk and sick and there were some boys making her uncomfortable. So she got me to come get her. Thank GOD she wasn't terrified of me and stayed in a potentially dangerous situation.

Also she found out I've done similar as a teen. That's she's not stupid failure "bad" kid who disappoints me.

Outside of that night....my girls have never been in any serious trouble. They never rebelled. They've never been disrespectful or engaged in dangerous behavior. They've done mischief but nothing serious.

They are both responsible adults. They both have their shit together better than I did at that age. Making things a taboo makes it more attractive.

 

[Lily]

But those wouldn't be honest conversations.

There are also benefits to responsible use of some substances. Opiates included. And the REALITY is, people drink alcohol.

No amount of "drugs and alcohol are bad, mmkay? Just say no" or pretending you never touched it is going to make them never do any of it.

Addiction and self destructive behaviors are rampant. I'd rather my children (adult children) be connected with reality and know there are responsible and proper ways to enjoy things like pot and alcohol. Legal substances. At the legal age.

I'd much rather my daughters know they can come to me and be approaching a safe person in their life that will understand where they are.

I absolutely do not agree with shutting down certain topics or pretending I'm some saint. And I'm willing to bet my daughters respect me MORE because of that. They don't fear my disapproval or disgust over perfectly normal things that most people try at least once or twice.

When I know they are attending a party where they could chose to drink alcohol, they know I'd prefer they didn't but if they do, pace it....drink plenty of water, don't leave your drink unsupervised and do Moy hesitate to ask us to come and get you if you need to get outta there.

When my daughter was 16, she got wasted at a friend's party. Absolutely wasted. She had told me it was a get together. So she lied...she didn't tell me the parents were gone and it was a party.

She got drunk and sick and there were some boys making her uncomfortable. So she got me to come get her. Thank GOD she wasn't terrified of me and stayed in a potentially dangerous situation.

Also she found out I've done similar as a teen. That's she's not stupid failure "bad" kid who disappoints me.

Outside of that night....my girls have never been in any serious trouble. They never rebelled. They've never been disrespectful or engaged in dangerous behavior. They've done mischief but nothing serious.

They are both responsible adults. They both have their shit together better than I did at that age. Making things a taboo makes it more attractive.

Those are honest conversations. Alcohol, cigarettes and/or narcotics aren't necessary in a recreational setting. Do people choose to use these substances?

Sure, that doesn't mean they are needed. You're spinning this like a motherfucker...but you fool no one.

Yeah, my haters are going to prop you up, but they don't actually give one fuck about you or your offspring.

 

[Dove]

I just finished saying that our parents talked about the downside of the "vices", if you will.

So, you weren't talking about how drugs impact the individual, the community or society in general. You were talking about your youthful indiscretions and yukking it up.

Those aren't the same type of discussions. You can spin all you want, but it's you with offspring that you are clearly very permissive with, it's just not the choice most parents make.

Well Lily I'm not "spinning" a thing.

I think you are being dramatic calling weed a drug. It's a legal substance. Safer than tobacco and alcohol.

I'm fact alcohol is a much more dangerous drug.

Are you now saying that the only conversations I've ever had with my girls about drugs was that afternoon where i showed them how 90s teens made bongs?

You can't be serious.

I find your opinions on weed to be outdated as fuck and uptight and I'm glad i live in a more progressive and educated era regarding weed.

YOU are the one spinning this because you are determined to have a problem where a problem doesn't exist and if that means making completely irrational and dramatic claims .....like how showing adults how teens made plastic bongs on the 90s is the same as exposing a minor to strippers or now because I didn't jump on a high horse and list all the down sides of weed in that moment...they've NEVER been talked to.

My daughter had an at length conversation with her DOCTOR about medical use of weed. She already KNOWS all of that. I'm not going to beat her down constantly with it.

So basically you think I should be beating them with all the downsides every single time it comes up?

 

[Lily]

Well Lily I'm not "spinning" a thing.

I think you are being dramatic calling weed a drug. It's a legal substance. Safer than tobacco and alcohol.

I'm fact alcohol is a much more dangerous drug.

Are you now saying that the only conversations I've ever had with my girls about drugs was that afternoon where u showed them how 90s teens made bongs?

You can't be serious.

I find your opinions on weed to be outdated as fuck and uptight and I'm glad i live in a more progressive and educated era regarding weed.

YOU are the one spinning this because you are determined to have a problem where a problem doesn't exist and if that means making completely irrational and dramatic claims .....like how showing adults how teens made plastic bongs on the 90s is the same as exposing a minor to strippers or now because I didn't jump on a high horse and list all the down sides of weed in that moment...they've NEVER been talked to.

My daughter had an at length conversation with her DOCTOR about medical use of weed. She already KNOWS all of that. I'm not going to beat her down constantly with it.

I think weed used to be safer, but that's not true anymore. The THC in weed now compared to what prior generations dealt with are not close to being similar.

I'm not at all suggesting you beat your daughter up about anything.

I don't happen to agree that talking about your indiscretions is productive in any way.

 

[Garraty_47]

Parents who don't have honest conversations with their kids, or worse yet adopt a "because I said so" attitude and treat their kids like possessions or extensions of themselves instead of real people, are how you get kids making bad decisions and having poor inter-generational communication skills themselves. It's breeding crop after crop of repressed, dishonest, dissembling, authoritarian narcissists.

It's one of the reasons 'Murican society is so fucked up and twisted.

If you want to live in a strict hierarchy join the damn military.

But leave the kids alone.

 

[X]

Would you have a glass of wine with your daughter Lily ?