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This makes X smile and touch himself:
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19 cats drowned in Amsterdam canals. Damn that's sad and kinda odd... were they drunk? Usually kitters have better balance and coordination
 
The Romans used to do that to people as a form of capital punishment. Tie 'em in a sack full of cats, toss the sack in a canal. Drowning would kill the prisoner, but they'd be torn up by the panicked cats in the process.
 
My cat Joaquin can swim. I saw him playing tag with an Iguana and fell in to the pool. He swam to the steps and got out. Shook himself off like a dog. A very proud moment for me