1,000,000 Post Thread

[Iggy McLulz]

I'm sure I'll regret asking you to explain, but go ahead.

 

[The Associate]

Um... really? Porch raccoons. That was a thing that was mentioned. I glommed on to the idea and started joking about raising up an army of them.

 

[The Associate]

I really didn't think that would need to be explained, TBH.

 

[Iggy McLulz]

i never know if it's a slur or innocent. Need context.

 

[The Associate]

Always assume that everything I pose is the exact opposite of innocent. Like, when I post the word 'Croissant', you should get absolutely insane with fury.

 

[Iggy McLulz]

that's just stupid. I don't know you and I don't know your slang.

 

[Iggy McLulz]

So you have racoon visitors? Yes?

 

[The Associate]

You should just default to being irrationally angry about everything I post. Trust me, it's fun; it's educational; it'll save you time.

 

[The Associate]

No. I wish I did. I don't think we actually have raccoons in this part of the country.

 

[Iggy McLulz]

It's not fun and I was asking

 

[Iggy McLulz]

you're a jackass.

 

[The Associate]

Mogollon Rim region of Arizona. I don't think we have raccoons here.

 

[The Associate]

And yes, that's the spirit.

 

[Reggie_Essent]

I mentioned porch raccoons because Xypoo likes to sleep under his porch in warm weather and snuggle up to his pet raccoons.

 

[The Associate]

Treat me as if I'm your ex-husband; that'll be just about perfect.

 

[Iggy McLulz]

We have racoons, possums, foxes, deer, bats and other wildlife in good ole Pennsyltucky.

 

[Iggy McLulz]

I remarried my ex husband lmao

 

[Reggie_Essent]

I got all that shit plus Canadian Geese in the summer.

 

[Reggie_Essent]

I blame Canada.

 

[Iggy McLulz]

So how should I treat you now?

 

[The Associate]

I used to live in the Mid. We had yard rabbits, yard deer, yard coons, the lot. Not so much here.

 

[The Associate]

Well, don't remarry me. I've done nothing to deserve that.

 

[Iggy McLulz]

@Reggie_Essent Oh yeah those fuckers are assholes!

 

[Reggie_Essent]

We got niggers and Mexicans too.

 

[Iggy McLulz]

@The Question I'm the best wife so fuck you

 

[The Associate]

Boil me in oil, rib out my fingernails, gouge out my eyes with burning fire irons, but don't MARRY me, that's TORTURE.

 

[Reggie_Essent]

You and Iggy would make a great couple, TQ. The fireworks would be awesome.

 

[The Associate]

This feels like it's adjacent to a Monty Python bit. "Look here, young lady, you can't simply go about MARRYING men without their consent! Have you no sense of mercy?"

 

[Iggy McLulz]

@Reggie_Essent bruh really? My daughter is producing nothing but those because she's half black and her fiance is black and my grand kids are 3/4 black

 

[The Associate]

"But... but... but... he's BLICK!" -Lethal Weapon (one of them, I forget which)