Doveys advice column

[Dove]

You are talking from your 40 yr old self.... well guess what 40 yr old self, one day you will 60 + and now is the time to start thinking about then. Ask youself, do I want a comfortable old age or do I want abject poverty?

You should get a part time job.... even 1 day a week and invest that money. Just by me investing an extra $10 week for 20 years.... made me comfortable today. Plan ahead.

We started doing that 9 years ago when we started recovery.

We arent poor but we arent rich, but we have been very money smart for the past decade.

My mother however is like a spoiled fucking teenager who blows her money....and she has 800 dollars every month to just spend how she wants and that is gone by at least the last week of the month and we cover her and actually have to limit her and she pouts.

Its fucking ridiculous. When we are moved into our new place I'm opening an account in her name and dividing her spending money up per week and transfering it weekly. She already calls me a bully so I may as well live up to that.

Her think is we "have money" so we can just cover her. We "have money" because we dont blow it like she blows it and we invest and budget.

I've almost killed her a few times this week.

I may take two midnight shifts at the hospital though while my husband smashes through a few classes he needs for the position at his job they want him in. They are even paying for the classes.

 

[Omnipotent]

So look at your mother and know what not to do.

when are you leaving her? Aren't you supposed to be getting another place?

 

[Dove]

If we are super comfortable in the new house (it's a larger manufactured house and we are buying it right out...not financing) I would like to just haul it onto land that we own.

If not we will just sell it and move again lol.

But my husband wants to be closer to the school and his job until he finishes so....we are moving closer. I hate the metro area BUT this is on the outside more and it's a nice area. A bit too busy for my taste but not nearly as bad as the rest of metro.

 

[Dove]

So look at your mother and know what not to do.

when are you leaving her? Aren't you supposed to be getting another place?

Oh I did that years ago. Shes been like a irresponsible and dysfunctional older sister all my life and I ended up having to be the reliable one. I've been "older" than her since I turned 16. Probably even by 10.

Shes coming with us. She is not competent to be on her own.

 

[The Prowler]

I've almost killed her a few times this week.

Do not do that.

We could all be subpoenaed in a murder trial.

And I hate being a witness in murder trials.

 

[Dove]

Do not do that.

We could all be subpoenaed in a murder trial.

And I hate being a witness in murder trials.

NOT to get dark here and make people uncomfortable but she would be so easy to kill. She overtakes everything and has a history of it. I could overdose her too death on something and claim I have no idea what she took.

NOT that I ever would. If I was gonna seriously do that I wouldnt openly talk about how easily I could lol.

It's alright I've had a lot of therapy and Jesus and all that.

I'm putting her into physical therapy and getting her doing more when we settle in. Shes gonna have to start washing her own clothes at least. This is a woman who once intentionally destroyed her husbands (he was a piece of shit....but still) clothes in the wash so he wouldnt ask her to do it again. Like she will do shit like that so she doesnt have to do it.

Shes like a spoiled, bratty teen. I have no idea how we were raised by the same woman but we were.

 

[Omnipotent]

my mum used to save every cent..... she'd spend it going on holidays, like Bali (45 times), Borneo, New Zealand, Europe, Asia, Africa.....

the bitch!!! :(

 

[Dove]

my mum used to save every cent..... she'd spend it going on holidays, like Bali (45 times), Borneo, New Zealand, Europe, Asia, Africa.....

the bitch!!! :(

I'm about to run errands and my mother got her benefits yesterday and shes sitting here literally thinking about shit she wants me to buy for her.

We are out of here tonight or the morning and her ass is trying to find useless shit to spend her money on.

Shes an idiot. Seriously. Shes gonna have another tantrum today because she doesnt like her daughter giving her financial "lectures". However I'm not the one broke in the middle of the week needing my daughter to get stuff I want for me and I NEVER will be.

Normal people would call it solid advice. My mother calls it "lectures". And "whipping".

 

[Omnipotent]

I'm about to run errands and my mother got her benefits yesterday and shes sitting here literally thinking about shit she wants me to buy for her.

We are out of here tonight or the morning and her ass is trying to find useless shit to spend her money on.

Shes an idiot. Seriously. Shes gonna have another tantrum today because she doesnt like her daughter giving her financial "lectures". However I'm not the one broke in the middle of the week needing my daughter to get stuff I want for me and I NEVER will be.

Normal people would call it solid advice. My mother calls it "lectures". And "whipping".

You have to be MUCH tougher and learn to say NO when she runs out of money.

Can you warn her you will be doing that from now on...

Get her into art therapy....make her start drawing. It works.