Punday afternoon at BF

[Garraty_47]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

 

[Alfred E. Neutrump]

Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee? Because he was getting too jumpy.

 

[Garraty_47]

X claims not to like birds but he's been known to kiss a cockatoo.

 

[realgrimm]

If Blackbirds bring black babies and a Stork brings white babies, what bird brings no babies?


A Swallow

 

[Garraty_47]

Flynn once asked:
"If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"
But I couldn't answer her right away because I didn't want to make a rash decision.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Too much trippin my soles worn thin...
Too much trippen my soul's worn thin...


If our biggest worry is will the next gen appreciate a dad pun then rest & rest assured we rocked the fuck.

 

[jack]

Punography is the lowest form of humor.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

Flynn once asked:
"If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"
But I couldn't answer her right away because I didn't want to make a rash decision.

Rashes can be prevented by scratching itches through clothes. Holding against another is a longer more painful pursuit. I.e. skin on skin.

 

[Garraty_47]

Punography is the lowest form of humor.

Actually that would be farts followed by laugh tracks and sexual orientation.

Just because you're incapable of enjoying puns is no reason for the rest of us to deprive ourselves.

So it's like sex, basically, except unlike your partners we won't be laughing *at* you.

 

[Garraty_47]

Rashes can be prevented by scratching itches through clothes. Holding against another is a longer more painful pursuit. I.e. skin on skin.

Let me see if i can put this in a way you'll comprehend...

Too! Much 'splain ruin HAHAhaha! Not do.

 

[The Cuntess]

I’m at the salon getting my hair did.


Opened Flynn’s thread and laughed really loud

 

[jack]

Actually that would be farts followed by laugh tracks and sexual orientation.

Just because you're incapable of enjoying puns is no reason for the rest of us to deprive ourselves.

So it's like sex, basically, except unlike your partners we won't be laughing *at* you.

 

[jack]

You know it's a nosy pepper when it's jalapeno business.

 

[jack]

A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a rum …………………. and coke.”

The bartender asks, “What’s with the big pause?”

The bear shrugs. “I was born with them.”

 

[MrNiceGuy]

Let me see if i can put this in a way you'll comprehend...

Too! Much 'splain ruin HAHAhaha! Not do.

Drugs do a body good... until they don't.

I can play pool better with a drink. But shitfaced... I can't pool for shit.

Steroid can muscle mass but to repro the balls shrink to not effective.

Feel me?

 

[jack]

What do you say to a Llama that loves picnicking?

Alpaca lunch.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

Punography is the lowest form of humor.

Punogrqphy is dad humour 101 you skank. We owe it to ourselves to make women moan with the puns & licking of the clits.

 

[jack]

A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station. The mechanic looks up and says “Looks like you blew a seal.”

“No no,” the penguin replies, “it’s just ice cream.”

 

[jack]

Punogrqphy is dad humour 101 you skank. We owe it to ourselves to make women moan with the puns & licking of the clits.

What's really funny is that neither of you got it. Here I am actually trying to contribute to the thread and you two are like gay comedians.

Always blowing the punch line.

 

[jack]

A photon checks into a hotel. The front desk asks if it has any luggage. It replies “no, I’m traveling light”

 

[MrNiceGuy]

A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a rum …………………. and coke.”

The bartender asks, “What’s with the big pause?”

The bear shrugs. “I was born with them.”

Polar bear walks into a bar.

White privilege!!!

 

[jack]

Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir?































He was a little horse.

 

[jack]

Never believe an atom, they make up everything.

 

[realgrimm]

One bird alone cannot make a pun. But toucan

 

[realgrimm]

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.

 

[jack]

Becoming vegetarian was a huge missed steak.

 

[realgrimm]

Its better to be wanted for murder, then not be wanted at all

 

[jack]

If a kid won’t take a nap, is that “resisting a rest”?

 

[jack]

This woman claimed we met at the vegetarian cookout, but i don't remember meeting herbivore.