Punday afternoon at BF

[realgrimm]

I told my doctor I accidentally swallowed some food coloring: He says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

 

[Reptile Reaper]

An organ's favorite boat is a blood vessel. If that doesn't leave you in stitches, suture self.

 

[The Associate]

Italian sausage is bad, but German sausage is the wurst.

 

[jack]

I think I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I'm sure I can stop any time.

 

[jack]

Please be kind to your dentist. He has fillings too, you know.

 

[jack]

Having sex while camping is fucking intense!

 

[jack]

What do you do when you find Niacin, Riboflavin and B-12 at your door?

You vitamin.

 

[jack]

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

You'd never pay to have a garbanzo bean on your face.

 

[Frood]

Actually that would be farts followed by laugh tracks and sexual orientation.

Just because you're incapable of enjoying puns is no reason for the rest of us to deprive ourselves.

So it's like sex, basically, except unlike your partners we won't be laughing *at* you.

Oi!

Fart and poo humour is as old as a Neanderthal bonfire near the mushy apple tree....

 

[Alfred E. Neutrump]

What is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

You can't make a vitamin.

 

[The Associate]

And how do you make a hormone? Don't worry about it, that's what you're payin' her for.

 

[Cookie Monster]

If this is the world wide web where is the spider?

 

[Garraty_47]

What do you call a spider that's being a pain in your ass?

An arachroid.

 

[jack]

A bossy man walks into a bar. He orders everyone a round.

 

[jack]

Whoever invented zero, thanks for nothing.

 

[jack]

Whenever I eat alphabet soup I always have a vowel movement later.

 

[jack]

I've decided I'm going to write a theater piece on puns.

It'll be a play on words.

 

[jack]

My two pups are called Rolex and Timex.

They're watch dogs.

 

[X]

To be forewarned is to have 4 arms

 

[jack]

I used to work for a calendar company until I got fired for taking a couple of days off.

 

[Garraty_47]

You matter.



Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light, then you energy.

 

[Garraty_47]

Did you know vikings often brought their kids along when they went adventuring?

Because sometimes it takes a child to raze a village.

 

[Flynn]

"Wishing you all a great weekend and a sun-derful day."

 

[Garraty_47]

A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame.

Thanks for explaining the word 'many' to me, it means alot.

I make apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.