I got a call at 05:00 from step sister. My dad had an accident, but he's ok, he'll call you later.
It was the early morning after his birthday, he was shitfaced, not unusual, and he had some oysters, very unusual, since he's deathly allergic. He was between the bed and the head all night, and one time he missed and bashed his head on something solid.
When he finally called to report, all he could manage was "Fell down. Busted my face. Gotta fix it."