The Leaker: The Early Years

[X]

did you just poast a baldy you'de consider fucking you FAGGOT !! LOL

Hey, he finds the guy attractive. Don't be so hard on him. We accept all kinds at BFF

Honesty lil, was that to show balds are beautiful ??

This fucker is Canadian ?? ..must'a fell from trudoes teet ffs

 

[Lily]

did you just poast a baldy you'de consider fucking you FAGGOT !! LOL

Hey, he finds the guy attractive. Don't be so hard on him. We accept all kinds at BFF

Honesty lil, was that to show balds are beautiful ??

This fucker is Canadian ?? ..must'a fell from trudoes teet ffs

As we'd say in the Bay Area, that was "hella" ghey

 

[The Prowler]

I just read the opinions to my OP.

As expected, there are a lot of people sitting around scratching their heads saying "Huh?"

There were no less than 8 unique knee-slappers in my post. George Carlin, Norm MacDonald, Sam Kinison, Andy Kaufman...they are who I honoured with my content. And we would all share a chuckle over the 9th joke: Oblivious reactions of a stunned audience.

The Leaker and her sidekick Flynn did not hesitate to admit to their ignorance. Their clumsy back-and-forth was interesting to witness, though. Knowing what I. Know.

SSS stepped-up, but then stepped in it. The dude could not make it to the second paragraph without confusing himself. No, SSS, Julio was indeed in 3rd grade, which is when the story took place: "One memorable incident occurred when Lily was 12 years old. It was her final year of Grade 3." The mention of Lily getting fat by the age of 17 was an "aside". We in The Biz sometimes throw those little tidbits out just to tie it all together later. That tidbit was used in the 8th and final joke of the post when Lily's poor mother shrieked "My Lily might be a full-blown retard, Julio!!! But at least she is not fat!!!!" See, if your mind was quick enough, if your (extremely) short-term memory was functional, you would have realized that the one positive thing Lily's poor mother could declare about her retarded little daughter is that she is not fat. And we know that 5 difficult years later, when Lily advanced two grades in her primary education, the Porker would emerge. Lily's mother's life was so tragic, that the astute audience is forced to laugh or cry. No problem, SSS. Have a drink or pop a pill or do whatever it is that makes you blissfully ignorant.

Caskur counted two laughs. The problem is, there is very little likelihood that they were actual jokes. I blame it on Australian culture and their basic brand of humour. You could perform the most beautiful tearjerker ballad, throw the word "Arse" a few times into the song, and they would be on the floor laughing.

Did I expect more sophisticated "reviews".

No. I often makes posts that fly over the heads of people here.

"But then why, Prowler? Why did you post something that none of us will understand?"

So there is this little thing called "the subconscious". You know how you have heard that people only use 10% of their brain? Yeah, well a big part of that other 90% is operating at full-capacity in your subconscious. And that is what Fat Lily is experiencing. Her brain understands. Chemicals are released. Emotions are felt. Defenses. Are. Failing.

Right.

Now.

Enjoy the ride, Leaker.

 

[Lily]

I just read the opinions to my OP.

As expected, there are a lot of people sitting around scratching their heads saying "Huh?"

There were no less than 8 unique knee-slappers in my post. George Carlin, Norm MacDonald, Sam Kinison, Andy Kaufman...they are who I honoured with my content. And we would all share a chuckle over the 9th joke: Oblivious reactions of a stunned audience.

The Leaker and her sidekick Flynn did not hesitate to admit to their ignorance. Their clumsy back-and-forth was interesting to witness, though. Knowing what I. Know.

SSS stepped-up, but then stepped in it. The dude could not make it to the second paragraph without confusing himself. No, SSS, Julio was indeed in 3rd grade, which is when the story took place: "One memorable incident occurred when Lily was 12 years old. It was her final year of Grade 3." The mention of Lily getting fat by the age of 17 was an "aside". We in The Biz sometimes throw those little tidbits out just to tie it all together later. That tidbit was used in the 8th and final joke of the post when Lily's poor mother shrieked "My Lily might be a full-blown retard, Julio!!! But at least she is not fat!!!!" See, if your mind was quick enough, if your (extremely) short-term memory was functional, you would have realized that the one positive thing Lily's poor mother could declare about her retarded little daughter is that she is not fat. And we know that 5 difficult years later, when Lily advanced two grades in her primary education, the Porker would emerge. Lily's mother's life was so tragic, that the astute audience is forced to laugh or cry. No problem, SSS. Have a drink or pop a pill or do whatever it is that makes you blissfully ignorant.

Caskur counted two laughs. The problem is, there is very little likelihood that they were actual jokes. I blame it on Australian culture and their basic brand of humour. You could perform the most beautiful tearjerker ballad, throw the word "Arse" a few times into the song, and they would be on the floor laughing.

Did I expect more sophisticated "reviews".

No. I often makes posts that fly over the heads of people here.

"But then why, Prowler? Why did you post something that none of us will understand?"

So there is this little thing called "the subconscious". You know how you have heard that people only use 10% of their brain? Yeah, well a big part of that other 90% is operating at full-capacity in your subconscious. And that is what Fat Lily is experiencing. Her brain understands. Chemicals are released. Emotions are felt. Defenses. Are. Failing.

Right.

Now.

Enjoy the ride, Leaker.

Oh my goodness, keep bringing your melties. They're fabulous!

You're so petulant. So much anger with those that didn't praise you.

aaaaahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[The Prowler]

It was October 31st. Ms Howler was heavy with child. She was 10 1/2 months pregnant and her issue was clearly overdue. Surely this was the day. She was exhausted, the skin on her belly stretched paper thin; oddly the thick patch of hair on her belly had fallen out. She wondered if this portended of ill to come. She took several deep breaths and admonished herself for her silly thoughts.

A child is a blessing. It was a sure sign of God's love for her. Suddenly, she felt a startlingly sharp pain in her lower abdomen and then heard a thud. It had fallen out. Her offspring bounced off the floor.
Surely this couldn't be happening. She hurriedly picked him up off the floor. He was howling in pain and fear. He had a knot on his forehead. He had no hair to cover it. In this moment, she couldn't have predicted how lifelong the problem would be.

Perhaps being born on Halloween would work a miracle. Perhaps, it was a blessing in disguise...perhaps he would have the best of luck after such an inauspicious beginning.

His toddler years were somewhat routine for such a slow child. He had to wear a helmet to straighten his crooked head. The knot? Well, it just never went away. The fact that he has no hair made the pointy knob on his forehead difficult to ignore. He was often mistaken as half child, 1/4 narwhal and 1/4 rhino. Preposterous, but the folks in the next town, Stomping Grunts weren't the brightest villagers in the province.

He plodded through those years, grunting, howling and humping the legs of his mother's friends, neighbors and the occasional salesman.

Mr Howler, grew to be a strapping boy, a healthy boy one might say. He wasn't the best student, he was often found picking his nose and saving the snot behind his ears. Saving the good ones for later. He smiled in triumph. His 6 teeth on full display.

He barely skated by his classes. He didn't understand why the kids didn't like him. He was not a well liked child. The strange noises he made, chirps, grunts and squeals scared the other children. His teachers passed him year after year, no one wanted a second dose of young Mr. Howler. Best to get on with things, he'd be perfect for the circus.

Mr Howler finally graduated high school. He came home and mother sat him down and said "it's time for you to go son." Why mother? he cried. It's been 25 years, Howler. You were supposed to have finished 7 years ago. I can't care for you anymore. These nice men from Circus for Freaks, Geeks and Gimps will be here in an hour. They will provide you a home, pay you a modest salary and give you a phone.

The gentlemen from the circus showed up, made small talk with Ms Howler and soon after took him away. He howled in fear and clutched his phone in his hairy thick sausage fingers. I will show them! I will be famous, I will be loved and appreciated. He went searching for interesting information on the internet and ran across some people that didn't have to know his life story. He'd pretend to be smart, handsome and blessed with a full head of hair. On the internet I can be anything!

He cried tears of joy, tomorrow the circus and then I'll find friends on the internet that will know just how special I am. He knew he had a bright future ahead of him.

Or so he thought with that crooked bald head with a knot on the forehead...*cue eerie music*

What a mess.

It was October 31st. Ms Howler was heavy with child.

Okay, right off the hop The Leaker refers to my mother as "Ms. Howler". That is as stupid as me calling Lily's poor mother "Ms. Leaker". "The Howler" nickname was given to me well after I was born. It is just poor writing. It is like calling Muhammad Ali's mother "Ms. Ali" in a story about when Cassius Clay was born.

She was 10 1/2 months pregnant and her issue was clearly overdue.

Her "issue" was overdue. Hahaha!!! The Leaker's overuse of thesaurus.com is funny as hell. She works so hard on impressing.

Blah blah blah....baby was dropped on his head....extremely overused Flametown material there. Weak and ineffective.

I skimmed over the rest. Just more nonsense.

Calling someone with a verified IQ North of 150 "Stupid!" just does not have the effect you might think it does, Fay Lily. Hahaha!!!

You are here, now, Fat Lily.

That feeling.

Of. Unease.

Get used to it.

 

[The Prowler]

Last edited: Today at 3:58 AM

Hahahaha!!!

 

[Lily]

Let's see a picture of YOU. Come on, just do it.

You can't deal.

 

[X]

It was October 31st. Ms Howler was heavy with child. She was 10 1/2 months pregnant and her issue was clearly overdue. Surely this was the day. She was exhausted, the skin on her belly stretched paper thin; oddly the thick patch of hair on her belly had fallen out. She wondered if this portended of ill to come. She took several deep breaths and admonished herself for her silly thoughts.

A child is a blessing. It was a sure sign of God's love for her. Suddenly, she felt a startlingly sharp pain in her lower abdomen and then heard a thud. It had fallen out. Her offspring bounced off the floor.
Surely this couldn't be happening. She hurriedly picked him up off the floor. He was howling in pain and fear. He had a knot on his forehead. He had no hair to cover it. In this moment, she couldn't have predicted how lifelong the problem would be.

Perhaps being born on Halloween would work a miracle. Perhaps, it was a blessing in disguise...perhaps he would have the best of luck after such an inauspicious beginning.

His toddler years were somewhat routine for such a slow child. He had to wear a helmet to straighten his crooked head. The knot? Well, it just never went away. The fact that he has no hair made the pointy knob on his forehead difficult to ignore. He was often mistaken as half child, 1/4 narwhal and 1/4 rhino. Preposterous, but the folks in the next town, Stomping Grunts weren't the brightest villagers in the province.

He plodded through those years, grunting, howling and humping the legs of his mother's friends, neighbors and the occasional salesman.

Mr Howler, grew to be a strapping boy, a healthy boy one might say. He wasn't the best student, he was often found picking his nose and saving the snot behind his ears. Saving the good ones for later. He smiled in triumph. His 6 teeth on full display.

He barely skated by his classes. He didn't understand why the kids didn't like him. He was not a well liked child. The strange noises he made, chirps, grunts and squeals scared the other children. His teachers passed him year after year, no one wanted a second dose of young Mr. Howler. Best to get on with things, he'd be perfect for the circus.

Mr Howler finally graduated high school. He came home and mother sat him down and said "it's time for you to go son." Why mother? he cried. It's been 25 years, Howler. You were supposed to have finished 7 years ago. I can't care for you anymore. These nice men from Circus for Freaks, Geeks and Gimps will be here in an hour. They will provide you a home, pay you a modest salary and give you a phone.

The gentlemen from the circus showed up, made small talk with Ms Howler and soon after took him away. He howled in fear and clutched his phone in his hairy thick sausage fingers. I will show them! I will be famous, I will be loved and appreciated. He went searching for interesting information on the internet and ran across some people that didn't have to know his life story. He'd pretend to be smart, handsome and blessed with a full head of hair. On the internet I can be anything!

He cried tears of joy, tomorrow the circus and then I'll find friends on the internet that will know just how special I am. He knew he had a bright future ahead of him.

Or so he thought with that crooked bald head with a knot on the forehead...*cue eerie music*

What a mess.

It was October 31st. Ms Howler was heavy with child.

Okay, right off the hop The Leaker refers to my mother as "Ms. Howler". That is as stupid as me calling Lily's poor mother "Ms. Leaker". "The Howler" nickname was given to me well after I was born. It is just poor writing. It is like calling Muhammad Ali's mother "Ms. Ali" in a story about when Cassius Clay was born.

She was 10 1/2 months pregnant and her issue was clearly overdue.

Her "issue" was overdue. Hahaha!!! The Leaker's overuse of thesaurus.com is funny as hell. She works so hard on impressing.

Blah blah blah....baby was dropped on his head....extremely overused Flametown material there. Weak and ineffective.

I skimmed over the rest. Just more nonsense.

Calling someone with a verified IQ North of 150 "Stupid!" just does not have the effect you might think it does, Fay Lily. Hahaha!!!

You are here, now, Fat Lily.

That feeling.

Of. Unease.

Get used to it.

AHAHAHAHAHA SHES TUIRNED YOU INTO A MULTI QUOTING FUCKSTICK... FUCKING relaxxxXXX YOU BALD SIMP lolololol

 

[X]

Let's see a picture of YOU. Come on, just do it.

You can't deal.

MAYBE ANOTHER BALD DOOD HE WANTS TO SEX UP

 

[Lily]

Let's see a picture of YOU. Come on, just do it.

You can't deal.

MAYBE ANOTHER BALD DOOD HE WANTS TO SEX UP

Howler's Google keyword search: "Bald men that I would fuck"

 

[The Prowler]

It is hard to believe I could bury a whale so quickly.

The Leaker is barely alive....

 

[X]

It is hard to believe I could bury a whale so quickly.

The Leaker is barely alive....

if you could turn that glare down a little I could stand here and tell you how wrong you are LOL

 

[The Prowler]

This 360 guy constantly humps me in an effort to take the pressure off The Leaker.

I just have no idea who he is. As far as I know, he is just the resident retard.

Hey.....are you Fat Lily's son???

 

[Lily]

It is hard to believe a could bury a whale so quickly.

The Leaker is barely alive....

It is hard to believe I could bury a whale so quickly.

The Leaker is barely alive....

if you could turn that glare down a little I could stand here and tell you how wrong you are LOL

I whooped his ass and he keeps coming back for more. What a masochist. It's no wonder he married a mannish woman.

 

[The Prowler]

Hahahahaha!!!!

"You wuz dropzzz on yerzz headzzz!"

That was as effective as calling Wilt Chamberlain short.

The Truth, Leaker.

The Truth is your weakness.

Reality.

Your.

Downfall.

 

[Lily]

Hahahahaha!!!!

"You wuz dropzzz on yerzz headzzz!"

That was as effective as calling Wilt Chamberlain short.

The Truth, Leaker.

The Truth is your weakness.

Reality.

Your.

Downfall.

It smarts doesn't it?

 

[The Prowler]

Hahaha!!!!

The Leaker is looking for other people who suffered early childhood brain trauma so she can bond.

What a sorry sack of shit.

 

[Lily]

Hahaha!!!!

The Leaker is looking for other people who suffered early childhood brain trauma so she can bond.

What a sorry sack of shit.

^^

 

[Blurt]

This 360 guy constantly humps me in an effort to take the pressure off The Leaker.

^ Claims someone he calls “The Leaker” is somehow under pressure.

Not too bright, that one.

As usual, the ineffectual Prowler delivers an inadvertent howler.

 

[Lily]

he calls

The most salient issue. No one else GAF.

 

[The Prowler]

The Leaker sure does cry about being called "The Leaker" a lot for someone who does not give a fuck about being called "The Leaker".

Lily's Leakage.

Someone should call Greenpeace to clean up this mess.

Hahahaha!!!

 

[Lily]

^^ LMAO @ U

 

[The Prowler]

If The Leaker were able to actually physically laugh her ass off, Greenpeace would not be able to handle the cleanup.

Global warming would quickly fall to a distant second place of environmental emergencies.

 

[Lily]

If The Leaker were able to actually physically laugh her ass off, Greenpeace would not be able to handle the cleanup.

Global warming would quickly fall to a distant second place of environmental emergencies.

Your rage...lmfao

 

[X]

Hahaha!!!!

The Leaker is looking for other people who suffered early childhood brain trauma so she can bond.

What a sorry sack of shit.

if thats directed @ moi didnt seem to affected mah hair growin prowess tho'

 

[X]

The Leaker sure does cry about being called "The Leaker" a lot for someone who does not give a fuck about being called "The Leaker".

Lily's Leakage.

Someone should call Greenpeace to clean up this mess.

Hahahaha!!!

an a squgee fer yer brow LMFAO !

 

[X]

 

[Breakfall]

What’s happening bro!?

 

[Breakfall]

If The Leaker were able to actually physically laugh her ass off, Greenpeace would not be able to handle the cleanup.

Global warming would quickly fall to a distant second place of environmental emergencies.

Your rage...lmfao

Are they still going on about your fine arse Lily!? Lol

 

[X]

What’s happening bro!?

breaksmall is that discord safe will they hack my shit ?