The Trial Of Dovid and Gayran

[Master]

ARISE Members of The Factory of Bastards.

(unravels scroll)

The court of justices of transgressions, thru countless warning to suffice, have charged Dovid, wanton freeloader and obsessed with the King of Martini, and Gayran, blatant angry homosexual, of the crime of shit posting and stinking up these righteous, hallowed halls of topical discussion.

I, your Lord Pooofaa, will now hear your pleas as to why I should allow you to stay.

I have requested 50 words or less. For I can only waddle thru shit for so long.

Flynn has taken up counsel for Dovid.

Nobody took up counsel for Gayran ( )

You may speak now.

 

[Adam Hitler]

 

[Flynn]

Hello your honor. As counsel for Dove, I believe I can kill two birds with one stone. I set forth this motion to represent Aryan as well, afterall everyone needs to have representation, if the court allows it.

First up. Dove.

I hereby present to the court on why Dove should not be black balled.

Dove has previously stated that she likes posting here and has offline and online friends that she corresponds with off and on the boards. She is a champion for those who do not have a voice...i.e..OdorEater and Deport_Liberals. She feels very in tune with the political arena and will communicate how modern politics has been destroyed by the Liberal agenda. If I may, I present this evidence to the court to take into consideration.

I present the case for Aryan on why he shouldn't be gassed.

I present the case of Aryan to the BF courts. Aryan basically would have no where to post given his Nationalist views. 99% of the mainstream forums would certainly ban him on sight for his views on human rights and bigotry. I present to the court for its consideration that every single person should have the right to express their opinions and beliefs no matter how un-politcally correct they may be. Furthermore, it should be noted that Aryan is a member in good standing here never being on Meltdown status.

The counsel for both Dove and Aryan rests its case. Next up. Counter arguments on why Dove and Aryan should be found guilty of well...being them.

 

[Master]

Very well.

Dovid has a track record of being a spazzy shit poster.

Exhibit A. Any thread in this forum that she has put a brain cell killing death grip on. Namely, most of the threads.

Dovids only contributions as a member here is a false sense of interest considering her value is that she has nothing but these forums. Her real life is shit. She has nothing of value and professes that her siblings are her “fortune”.

As lord and rulah, I am appalled at such a high post count with little if any valuable content. Appalled, I tell ye.

As for Gayran, he is a homosexual, and because he is a queer, we have to take certain steps within these proceedings to assure that we are not anti- faggot within these hallowed halls of the people.

We love homos here the same way Gayran would love a never ending gobstopper shaped like a penis and dark as night.

But Gayran is what we shall call, if counsel has no objections, a repeat offender. He repeats the same old shit over and over and doesn’t understand it wasn’t funny the first time.

And because of this, we here within the ranks of the people have unzipped our trousers aimed our dicks towards his face and christened Gayran as a shit poster. And while he enjoyed it, closing his eyes, opening his mouth and moving his head like a singing Stevie Wonder, we, the people have decreed that a ban must be implemented for the betterment of this forum.

We also, and I quote…

(licks finger….flips page…flips page)

Quote, and please put this in italics

” Give zero fucks”

If Gayran has nowhere else to go because nobody likes him.

We would like a counter arguement to this counter arguement.

 

[Dove]

Exactly.

 

[Flynn]

If the prosecution has no further arguments, I would like to do my cross examination.

If it pleases the court, I will start with Dove.

What defines a "spazzy shit poster?" And does being a "spazzy poster" break any inherent laws? What if my client had a brain injury and couldn't help herself? Would it be entirely her fault or would the brain injury play a part in her being a "spazzy shit poster?" I present to the court that being a "spazzy poster" breaks no TOS nor does it constitute a crime. I should think that the title of being a "spazzy shit poster" is an opinion and not fact. It has no relevance to this case.

Even if my client Dove has nothing more than these forums because "her life is shit" it still has no relevance to the proceedings here at BF. Just because Dove is accused of killing each thread she posts in does not make it fact. All of these accusations thrown my clients is either opinion or heresay. There is not factual truth to follow these claims or accusations. If my client chooses to be a half-wit, that is her right. If my client chooses to be a moron it's still her God given right. The state has not proven beyond a shadow of a doubt any claim laid down today.

Therefore, I summarily ask the court that the case against Dovid, I mean Dove be thrown out without prejudice immediately.

I will finish up my arguments for Aryan.

Just because my client Aryan is stupid and repeats the same mantra over is not a crime in itself. My client breaks no laws being redundant and unimaginative. There are no laws being broke here. It is his right as a person if he wants to be dull and boring. I implore the court to look up Admin Vs The Free World as that is the template in regard for a citizen to be as idiotic as they want without the fear of being persecuted. It is an inherent right of all people if they want to live an ignorant life. I ask the court to take this into consideration.

As for my clients sexual orientation. His sexual orientation has no bearing on whether he is a good poster or not. Even if my client likes eating dicks for breakfast, lunch and dinner shouldn't be factored into the overall picture whether he's a good poster or not. Every single person has the right to the freedom of sexual choices and should not be exiled for liking male genitalia. Once again, his love for dicks has nothing to do with how or what my client posts. I beg the court to also throw out the charges levied at my client.

The defense asks this court to dismiss all of the charges today. The prosecution has shown that they have no evidence and have not proven their case. I ask for immediate dismissal of all the charges.

The defense rests.

 

[Adam Hitler]

Aside from large Lily engaging in damage limitation and waving her poms poms around like a 400 lbs cheerleader, this thread has aroused next to no interest and proven to be a complete disaster, despite Mutantini & his bro putting in quite a bit of effort.

Excellent content boys, where would this forum be without you.

 

[Blandscape]

No-one is getting fucking black-balled.

Case closed.

 

[Blandscape]

Especially not when Kevin is overdosing on estrogen patches.

 

[LotusBud]

I think Aryana and Dove need to seek professional help and after they have worked for at least 6 months on their mental health, should then reapply for membership in this or any online community. I don't hold animosity toward them. I simply wish them a speedy recovery, and aim to protect innocent people from their vitriol in the meantime.

 

[Blandscape]

There is no vitriol here, if there was I wid be able to comprehend it.

There is only old scores left to bore that which birthed it. Every poster herein is worth their weight in the sold, that we all gave up when we ignored Twitter and Facebook!

 

[Blandscape]

I couldn't give a fuck aboot any one of you, while paradoxically caring about every single one of you.

 

[Blandscape]

Especially the likes of Dovey, highly articulate without understanding why she was born to simply hate.

 

[Dove]

I think Aryana and Dove need to seek professional help and after they have worked for at least 6 months on their mental health, should then reapply for membership in this or any online community. I don't hold animosity toward them. I simply wish them a speedy recovery, and aim to protect innocent people from their vitriol in the meantime.

How do you know you are not the one who needs help? I did a 3 year program, 5 years of CBT and ongoing recovery work.

Yet you claim I need professional help based on the fact I have different stances than you.

Perhaps there is something deeply wrong with people who respond to different perspectives and stances with hostility, calling people stupid and claiming they need help because you can't grasp the concept of different views.

I'll stick with what I'm doing. I dont want to be anywhere near the kind of person who responds the way you guys do to people who think differently. Usually people seek help to be healthy, not painfully narrow minded and angry.

 

[Blandscape]

I need to hear that. As we all should!

 

[Blandscape]

You see...empathy honors the brave.

 

[Blandscape]

Why destroy what you can never ultimately communicate wiff, unless they are here to communicate?

 

[Lily]

I need to hear that. As we all should!

It's the comedy shitshow when she posts.

 

[Blandscape]

Whit wid we gain from banning that which we don't want to read?

 

[Blandscape]

And how wid we be different to dem?

 

[Flynn]

Whit wid we gain from banning that which we don't want to read?

Banning is such a stupid idea, unless it was Biggie. I really don't think anyone needs to be banned. I'd say if Dove keeps posting her idiotic political untruths in Meltdown, she should get the boot.

 

[Blandscape]

I need to hear that. As we all should!

It's the comedy shitshow when she posts.

It is highly articulate though.

 

[Blandscape]

Whit wid we gain from banning that which we don't want to read?

Banning is such a stupid idea, unless it was Biggie. I really don't think anyone needs to be banned. I'd say if Dove keeps posting her idiotic political untruths in Meltdown, she should get the boot.

Disagree.

 

[Flynn]

Whit wid we gain from banning that which we don't want to read?

Banning is such a stupid idea, unless it was Biggie. I really don't think anyone needs to be banned. I'd say if Dove keeps posting her idiotic political untruths in Meltdown, she should get the boot.

Disagree.

And that's your right.

 

[Blandscape]

We lose posters every day, and there are no white, black, brown or yellow knights left.

 

[Flynn]

I need to hear that. As we all should!

It's the comedy shitshow when she posts.

It is highly articulate though.

Disagree

 

[Blandscape]

Whitever KM says.

 

[Flynn]

We lose posters every day, and there are no white, black, brown or yellow knights left.

That's because there were too few to begin with.

 

[Flynn]

Whitever KM says.

KM is a ding-dong.

 

[Blandscape]

Of course...I agree, these sites are too hard a lesson to learn for most.