What's Everyone Real Life Jobs?

skinofevil · Jul 12, 2018

Rum said:
I'm unemployed and mooch off my girlfriends disability benefits, her parents, my parents and occasionally her brother.

You know what's funny? I actually believe that.

skinofevil · Jul 12, 2018

Writer for an internationally distributed print magazine; news contributor for the digital edition of same.

Blazor · Jul 13, 2018

Im a graphic designer and printer.

Today we had a customer we know, whos son wanted wedding invite envelopes printed. I saw Obamas and Sanders on there but no Trump. I fixed that, so now President Donald Trump has one to go to the White House haha.

Big Sexy · Aug 5, 2018

Longinus said:
I was in the Air Force for 4 years, then worked in a prison for 26 years and retired. Now I sit around the house in my boxer shorts eating chili from a can with my fingers.

We all want your best prison story.

Dageaux · Aug 6, 2018

I take care of anything more complicated than a microwave oven in a warehouse for a distribution company. If it looks like a computer or might have some kind of software embedded in it, call Dag....especially if it is 2AM.

X · Aug 6, 2018

I sell smack ..

skinofevil · Aug 6, 2018

Sid Swagger said:
Longinus said:

I was in the Air Force for 4 years, then worked in a prison for 26 years and retired. Now I sit around the house in my boxer shorts eating chili from a can with my fingers.

Click to expand...

We all want your best prison story.

Seconded. No foolin', I really do wanna hear some good stories about prison hijinks. Well, not the kind where stuff goes up somebody's dook hole. But the rest of 'em.

X · Aug 6, 2018

Kilroy said:
Sid Swagger said:

Longinus said:

I was in the Air Force for 4 years, then worked in a prison for 26 years and retired. Now I sit around the house in my boxer shorts eating chili from a can with my fingers.

Click to expand...

We all want your best prison story.

Click to expand...

Seconded. No foolin', I really do wanna hear some good stories about prison hijinks. Well, not the kind where stuff goes up somebody's dook hole. But the rest of 'em.

I want the hole story .. every wrinkle described in detail .

skinofevil · Aug 6, 2018

^^Okay, well that guy wants dook hole stories. But he's gross. He probably eats his own pubes 'n' stuff.

X · Aug 6, 2018

The only problem I have with that statement is that you called me ' gross ' ):

Longinus · Aug 8, 2018

Kilroy said:
Sid Swagger said:

Longinus said:

I was in the Air Force for 4 years, then worked in a prison for 26 years and retired. Now I sit around the house in my boxer shorts eating chili from a can with my fingers.

Click to expand...

We all want your best prison story.

Click to expand...

Seconded. No foolin', I really do wanna hear some good stories about prison hijinks. Well, not the kind where stuff goes up somebody's dook hole. But the rest of 'em.

Not a lot of sex stories. But one that made me chuckle was a big convict forced his smaller cellmate to allow him (the big guy) to suck his dick. The little guy told his cellie no thanks, he didn't need his dick sucked. The big guy basically told him he would kick his ass if he didn't allow him to suck his dick. Anyway, the little guy told me, "I didn't want to get beat up so I let him suck my dick and I came after about one minute, that's when I yelled 'man down' in order to get out of that cell."

The prison I was at had a lot of serious beat downs, large scale fights, stabbings, suicides, faggotry, an occasion murder and also some fun times. It's a job one just falls into.

THROB · Aug 8, 2018

Im not saying I do this to buy my fast food and bus tickets every day,, but one thing to do here for cash is to go into abandoned and under construction apartments with bolt cutters. (make sure your initials arent on them like some people) just snip the base board heating pipes and then get all the piping in the basement and we take it to the closest scrap yards around. Pipe has been paying at a crazy rate the past few months.

There are two closed schools here that have OLD tarnished copper gutters.

TheHaze · Aug 9, 2018

Throb why don't you go and cut down some 40K power lines- - - - - - -

Sock Town · Aug 9, 2018

THROB said:
Im not saying I do this to buy my fast food and bus tickets every day,, but one thing to do here for cash is to go into abandoned and under construction apartments with bolt cutters. (make sure your initials arent on them like some people) just snip the base board heating pipes and then get all the piping in the basement and we take it to the closest scrap yards around. Pipe has been paying at a crazy rate the past few months.

There are two closed schools here that have OLD tarnished copper gutters.

Hoo! That's the oldest beaner shit in the book.

THROB · Aug 20, 2018

My unemployment paychecks went up to $166.00 a week!!!!!!!, and Claudia bringing food back after her shift for me, like the burgers and frostys.., (she used to date a douchebag cook there) so yeah, foods taken care of so its all about the power bill, got no more cellphone and its all party-party cash. I've been up for several days now with a few light cat naps and dont need to go out much during the daytime since completing community service, just microwave up sum food or eat whatever she brings. Im still kinda stuck on my peanut butter or tuna fish on flour tortillas because its hard to keep food down. well probably get a place together if she makes asst. mgr. in June.

Longinus · Aug 20, 2018

THROB said:
My unemployment paychecks went up to $166.00 a week!!!!!!!, and Claudia bringing food back after her shift for me, like the burgers and frostys.., (she used to date a douchebag cook there) so yeah, foods taken care of so its all about the power bill, got no more cellphone and its all party-party cash. I've been up for several days now with a few light cat naps and dont need to go out much during the daytime since completing community service, just microwave up sum food or eat whatever she brings. Im still kinda stuck on my peanut butter or tuna fish on flour tortillas because its hard to keep food down. well probably get a place together if she makes asst. mgr. in June.

Only $166 per week? Shit, man I was pulling in $170 per week back in 1984.....and with the garbage cans behind the supermarkets throwing away good stuff I was living large.

offwidthe · Sep 5, 2018

Hobo, beekeeper and cat-herder. I also date women with low self-esteems.

CorsetKat · Sep 14, 2018

Bee keeper ay?

Do you know all their little dances?

offwidthe · Sep 15, 2018

I do. I can tell what the colony is doing and their health status by their flights. I even figured out how to tell if they are queenless by what they are bringing home.

Oerdin · Sep 16, 2018

Geologist.

Oerdin · Sep 16, 2018

Oliver Shagnasty said:
Asphalt

Oh, I havr done the compaction tests for you asphalt guys before.

CorsetKat · Sep 23, 2018

offwidthe said:
I do. I can tell what the colony is doing and their health status by their flights. I even figured out how to tell if they are queenless by what they are bringing home.

That's fucking awesome.

MasterBlaster · Sep 23, 2018

There isn't a word here for what I do on my planet. The closest I guess would be trees... tall plants... some such shit.

thephroaig · Sep 24, 2018

Gambling consultant.

Ice · Sep 25, 2018

Retired slave.

X · Sep 26, 2018

Ice said:
Retired slave.

Retired ?? Pffttt get back here, theres still some poop on mah ass

chew the fat · Sep 28, 2018

I have a couple of qualifications but I'm usually too busy doing things I'm not qualified for...I'm like a gofer.

I'm also very good at telling other people what to do. It pays well.

I'm a fully qualified machinist and I have never done that job.

KiNG$LEY♛ · Nov 25, 2018

At the moment I'm managing several companies, so I pop in and out of here as time permits. I have a rather large house down here in an exclusive suburb.

Big Sexy · Feb 18, 2019

Sanitation eorker

MasterBlaster · Feb 18, 2019

I always kinda regerted not being a eorker... it haunts me.

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