As for my job? It's so fucking unbelievable! I'll try to sum it up by telling you about the latest gang I'm working with.
First, there's this Victorias Secret model wanna-be, straight out of your little Erotica porn area here, she's fun to look at, but completely useless to us. This bitch is constantly complaining about her Facebook friends or fixing her hair again. She's extremely self-centered and as dumb as a box of rocks, but almost all caucasian women I meet are. I'm still so surprised daily that she has enough brain juice to continue breathing, but yeah, she does smell fucking great!!
I wear different sweaters during the week, but I prefer simple white.
Anyways, back to work. The other female I'm working with these days is the complete opposite. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet here she is with us. She might be one of the smartest chicks alive, but as for looks?? On a scale of 1 to 10. She's a 0. Were not even to sure she showers, she wears the same thing everyday and we now know that she's a big fan of armpit hair.
The latest rumor around town is she likes girl on girl action. That would make more sense on why she perks up like a greedy circus seal when we drive by Home Depot.
The real gem of our gang has got to be the pot head. Always talking. He was born in the wrong decade and smokes up all day long. Probably hasnt been sober once in the last 10-12 years easy and he just turned 24! We get along, but he started bringing that bigheaded drool dog to work. I gotta look at this huge ass Great Dane trot around half-baked from the shitheads second-hand smoke. I think it likes it though, and sometimes I swear he's trying to talk to me with that constant yowling.
Both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single day. The two of them alone stress me the fuck out, so I'm just posting this here to blow off some steam.
Anyway, I drive these rejects around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.