What's Everyone Real Life Jobs?

Blazor

Put your glasses on!
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27,491
Im a graphic designer and printer.

Today we had a customer we know, whos son wanted wedding invite envelopes printed. I saw Obamas and Sanders on there but no Trump. I fixed that, so now President Donald Trump has one to go to the White House haha.
 

Dageaux

Factory Bastard
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508
I take care of anything more complicated than a microwave oven in a warehouse for a distribution company. If it looks like a computer or might have some kind of software embedded in it, call Dag....especially if it is 2AM.
 

skinofevil

Undeniably Plausible
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2,194
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The Third Rail
I was in the Air Force for 4 years, then worked in a prison for 26 years and retired. Now I sit around the house in my boxer shorts eating chili from a can with my fingers.

We all want your best prison story.

Seconded. No foolin', I really do wanna hear some good stories about prison hijinks. Well, not the kind where stuff goes up somebody's dook hole. But the rest of 'em.
 

X

xXx
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40,505
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here
I was in the Air Force for 4 years, then worked in a prison for 26 years and retired. Now I sit around the house in my boxer shorts eating chili from a can with my fingers.

We all want your best prison story.

Seconded. No foolin', I really do wanna hear some good stories about prison hijinks. Well, not the kind where stuff goes up somebody's dook hole. But the rest of 'em.
I want the hole story .. every wrinkle described in detail .
 

X

xXx
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40,505
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here
The only problem I have with that statement is that you called me ' gross ' ):
 

Longinus

No One Sings Me Lullabyes
☠️
Messages
206
Location
California
I was in the Air Force for 4 years, then worked in a prison for 26 years and retired. Now I sit around the house in my boxer shorts eating chili from a can with my fingers.

We all want your best prison story.

Seconded. No foolin', I really do wanna hear some good stories about prison hijinks. Well, not the kind where stuff goes up somebody's dook hole. But the rest of 'em.

Not a lot of sex stories. But one that made me chuckle was a big convict forced his smaller cellmate to allow him (the big guy) to suck his dick. The little guy told his cellie no thanks, he didn't need his dick sucked. The big guy basically told him he would kick his ass if he didn't allow him to suck his dick. Anyway, the little guy told me, "I didn't want to get beat up so I let him suck my dick and I came after about one minute, that's when I yelled 'man down' in order to get out of that cell."

The prison I was at had a lot of serious beat downs, large scale fights, stabbings, suicides, faggotry, an occasion murder and also some fun times. It's a job one just falls into.
 

THROB

Factory Bastard
Messages
436
Im not saying I do this to buy my fast food and bus tickets every day,, but one thing to do here for cash is to go into abandoned and under construction apartments with bolt cutters. (make sure your initials arent on them like some people) just snip the base board heating pipes and then get all the piping in the basement and we take it to the closest scrap yards around. Pipe has been paying at a crazy rate the past few months.

There are two closed schools here that have OLD tarnished copper gutters.
 

TheHaze

If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won'teither
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9,909
Throb why don't you go and cut down some 40K power lines- - - - - - -
 

Sock Town

Factory Bastard
Messages
10
Im not saying I do this to buy my fast food and bus tickets every day,, but one thing to do here for cash is to go into abandoned and under construction apartments with bolt cutters. (make sure your initials arent on them like some people) just snip the base board heating pipes and then get all the piping in the basement and we take it to the closest scrap yards around. Pipe has been paying at a crazy rate the past few months.

There are two closed schools here that have OLD tarnished copper gutters.
Hoo! That's the oldest beaner shit in the book.
 

THROB

Factory Bastard
Messages
436
My unemployment paychecks went up to $166.00 a week!!!!!!!, and Claudia bringing food back after her shift for me, like the burgers and frostys.., (she used to date a douchebag cook there) so yeah, foods taken care of so its all about the power bill, got no more cellphone and its all party-party cash. I've been up for several days now with a few light cat naps and dont need to go out much during the daytime since completing community service, just microwave up sum food or eat whatever she brings. Im still kinda stuck on my peanut butter or tuna fish on flour tortillas because its hard to keep food down. well probably get a place together if she makes asst. mgr. in June.
 

Longinus

No One Sings Me Lullabyes
☠️
Messages
206
Location
California
My unemployment paychecks went up to $166.00 a week!!!!!!!, and Claudia bringing food back after her shift for me, like the burgers and frostys.., (she used to date a douchebag cook there) so yeah, foods taken care of so its all about the power bill, got no more cellphone and its all party-party cash. I've been up for several days now with a few light cat naps and dont need to go out much during the daytime since completing community service, just microwave up sum food or eat whatever she brings. Im still kinda stuck on my peanut butter or tuna fish on flour tortillas because its hard to keep food down. well probably get a place together if she makes asst. mgr. in June.

Only $166 per week? Shit, man I was pulling in $170 per week back in 1984.....and with the garbage cans behind the supermarkets throwing away good stuff I was living large.
 

offwidthe

Professional Yeti Hunter
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1,009
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Bhutan
I do. I can tell what the colony is doing and their health status by their flights. I even figured out how to tell if they are queenless by what they are bringing home.
 

chew the fat

Fluent In Sarcasm
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20,725
I have a couple of qualifications but I'm usually too busy doing things I'm not qualified for...I'm like a gofer.

I'm also very good at telling other people what to do. It pays well.

I'm a fully qualified machinist and I have never done that job.